


Closing Time

by EstherRomanov



Category: One Direction
Genre: AU, Drama, F/F, F/M, Liam-centric, Love Triangles, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2297510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherRomanov/pseuds/EstherRomanov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. This is the story of first loves and second chances, of misunderstandings and forgiveness, of past lives and moving on. Liam Payne wishes nothing more in his life; he is a college professor that every student loves, he has six wonderful friends, and he is engaged to Niall Horan, the one who fixed his broken heart. But what if someone from their past wants to re-enter their lives, someone who just realized his mistake and wants to get it right.</p><p>or</p><p>An AU where Liam is a college professor engaged to Niall, a culinary chef. Zayn is an art collector who wants Liam back. Louis is a drama teacher who doesn’t know what to do with Harry, a freelance photographer, wooing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Was Enchanted To Meet You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainagefan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=captainagefan).



> This is created for Ziam and/or Niam shippers. so expect an almost (if not) equal good amounts of Ziam/Niam moments

_So maybe love for the second time is real. Maybe there is love after he broke your heart. Maybe there really is something as getting it right in the second chance. But Liam Payne is beyond that now. You see, Liam has already moved on from Zayn Malik after Zayn left him hanging during college. Liam is getting married to Niall Horan whom he loves very much and is more than willing to spend the rest of his life with._

_And maybe there is such a thing as guilt or betrayal. But Niall Horan is beyond that too. See, Niall was one of Zayn's best friends back in the university. And now, he is going to marry Zayn's ex (if they even ever happened in the first place). Niall loves Liam very much, he fixed Liam's heart when Zayn broke it in a million pieces. Now he is more than willing to spend the rest of his life with him._

_And then there's Louis freaking Tomlinson, Liam's best friend who just can't get anything right. You see, Louis has broken up with his third girlfriend for this year, a major asshole Louis is. He claims he just can't find the right one, and every girl he dates turns out to be a headache. And now, Liam and Niall are getting married, and Louis thinks a horrifying thought that he will spend the rest of his life alone._

_Niall suggests that Louis should just go out with Taylor Swift, since said girl, like him, has little to no success in relationships. But the two doesn't like the idea._

_"It would be like dating a younger brother," Taylor tells them in the coffee shop where they usually hang out. The seven of them; Liam, Niall, Louis, Taylor, Ed, Eleanor and Harper, have been the best buds for the past three years. And it's really a wonder since they rarely notice one another back in the university (they all attended the same uni except for dear Ed Sheeran whom they only just met when Louis became his flatmate when the lot of them moved in into this capital city)._

_"'Younger brother'? I'm older than you." Louis retorts._

_Taylor takes no heed and continues. "Also, I have a standard for heights."_

_They all laugh while Louis gapes at her._

_The seven finally called it a night afterwards. The time is only 9 o' clock but today is Sunday and they have work tomorrow. They separate ways, and Liam and Niall went quietly to their apartment, holding hands and enjoys the silence between them. Though Liam thinks of finding the perfect ring for Niall and Niall is worried since he is going to meet Liam's parents next Saturday._

_When they reach their flat, Liam gives Niall a quick kiss on the lips then smiles at him and Niall's worries fade away. Later all clothes will be stripped away, bodies will be tangled in bed, there will be kissing, breathing, gasping, a touch there, a thrust here, moan. Afterwards, Niall would be contented sleeping in Liam's arms. And Liam can't think of anything much better in life._

~~~

When Liam was 21 years old and was a senior college student, he met Zayn Malik. The meeting was nothing unusual. They had a class that semester together and since there were no more seats available, Zayn sat beside him. After the roll call, their professor mentioned something about checking of attendance and permanent seats. Liam did not mind. He came for the subject not for the seatmates. And of course, he had the front seat, the best seat.

Zayn groaned beside him, obviously not pleased with the idea.

After the class (he remembered now that it was biology), Louis met with him and grabbed him to the newly opened cafeteria outside the campus. But as chance would have it, he saw Zayn Malik again there with two other boys; a tall boy with curly mop of hair and a short bleached-blond boy.

The three were ahead of them in the queue to the counter. He found himself staring at the boy in leather jacket (Zayn -- he remembered from the roll call -- Zayn Jawaad Malik). He didn't know why he was drawn to him. His mind screamed one thing: beautiful. Zayn looked up and their eyes locked for a moment. Then he stared at Liam up and down before giving him a grin. And Liam could not take it so he gazed at the ground instead. When he looked up again, Zayn already had his back on him.

After taking their order, Liam and Louis took a table near the window overlooking the busy streets. Amidst eating his apple pie, Louis was grumbling about a shitty professor he has on literature. Liam kept on nodding his head occasionally as an indication that he was listening.

Louis has been his closest friend ever since freshman days. They were roommates then in the dormitory, and Louis decided for him that Louis is the best roommate ever, so after that year, the two rented an apartment for only the two of them outside the campus. Needless to say, they still live together.

"He really is a shite!" Louis continued talking. "I mean, I know he is new but mixing up Shakespeare and Marlowe? That's plain idiocy!"

"Maybe he's nervous." Liam suggested. "And if he's so shitty as you were saying, then why don't you teach the course?"

"Damn I will!" He said and banged his fist on the table for emphasis.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. Liam looked around and found beautiful boy in leather jacket beaming at him. Behind him, the two other boys watched closely. "Hi. I'm Zayn, your seatmate in biology, remember? Liam Payne, right?"

Liam felt speechless that moment. Because why? Why would this bloke talk to him? It's not like they are going to be friend, right?"

Liam did not realize that he's taking too long to answer until Louis spoke. "Liam is not here. He is in wonderland right now. My name is Louis Tomlinson by the way." He reached for Zayn's hand across the table and shook it.

The two boys laughed. Liam shot Louis a glare. The shorter boy just shrugged in response. But Zayn was still smiling at him.

"Yes, I'm Liam," he said.

"Say, since I think the two of us will be working together real hard in bio... can I get your number?"

Liam hesitated. But "Okay" he said, and wrote his number on a tissue, handing it to him after.

"I'll call you," Zayn said then backed away. "See you in class, Lee-yum."

"See you around, Louis Tomlinson!" said the curly-haired lad. The three stalked off.

Louis was glaring at him. "What now, Lou?"

"Who was that?" Louis snapped.

"Zayn Malik? Come on, he introduced himself."

"I heard it! Seriously? Your 'seatmate in biology'? Are you that hot, Liam, that even a mere seatmate wants your number?"

"Geez, Lou, you're making a big deal out of it."

"He's checking you out!"

"No, he's not!" Liam reddened.

"Yes, he was. And if I didn't know better, Liam Payne, you're interested in him, too. Mind you, Li. I had dibs on you first."

"Well, technically, we're just each other's reserves." Liam shuddered, remembering the night when Louis was so drunk and terrified that he will be forever unloved. Louis had proposed to him back then, after watching an episode of _How I Met Your Mother_ , asked in a semi-romantic manner if Liam would be willing to be his reserved husband. Liam had said yes out of sympathy for this young fool. But, though Liam might deny this, he is also afraid that he will not meet that destined someone for him ever.

"Yeah, we are. Still doesn't change the fact that you're cheating on me. And if he breaks your heart, who will fix it? Me? Liam, I'm warning you, I don't know how to comfort people."

"I know," Liam responded. "Trust me I know that too well."

~~~

That night, as Liam was finishing his Latin, he kept glancing at his phone, wondering what time would the boy in leather jacket call. It did not come that night.

~~~

The next day, Wednesday, he was surprised to see Zayn again. This time in his class in Statistics. He panicked all right, because Zayn here was friendly and he gives Liam this feeling of... of... something peculiar akin to infatuation. Luckily, said bloke was sitting up front and didn't see Liam's entrance at the back of the room. He made a quick decision to grab the nearest seat by the door because Zayn's proximity is giving him an uncomfortable feeling.

But bull fucking shit.

Eleanor Calder, Louis' ex-girlfriend, entered the room and saw him. "Liam Payne!" And does she have to be so loud? Zayn turned around at the call and immediately spotted Liam, and dammit, he was grinning again.

Liam looked at Eleanor exasperated. "Do you have to be so loud?"

Eleanor frowned. "What's the matter? I'm just happy to see you, dumbass. It's been a while." Then she took the seat at his right.

"I'm sorry," Liam said truthfully. "Didn't mean to be rude. How're you?"

"I'm fine. Been getting model jobs. How about you? And Lou? How's Lou?"

"We're fine. All's good."

"Liam."

Liam turned and imagined himself widening his eyes. In his chat with Eleanor, he hadn't notice Zayn moving from his seat at the the front to the unoccupied one at Liam's left.

"Zayn?"

"Hi," he smiled. "We're in the same class again, huh?"

"Ummm... looks like it." Wow, Liam thought, that was one dumb response. "Zayn, this is Eleanor Calder. El, this is Zayn Malik."

"Hello." "Hi." Awkward silence after.

Eleanor was giving him a questioning look, so Liam continued. "Eleanor here is Louis and my good friend. You might remember Lou from yesterday. And El, Zayn is my classmate in biology."

Another silence. This time Eleanor was smiling knowingly at Liam. What the heck.

"So, do you like Statistics?" The question was from Zayn.

"No, actually." Liam responded awkwardly. "I'm retaking this course."

Zayn fell silent while Liam inwardly scolded himself for being so stupid. Why did he have to tell so much? Why did he tell him he's retaking the course? The question was just yes and no!

"You're good in biology?" Zayn asked.

"Y-yes. I think so."

"I like Statistics. Maybe we can help each other."

Eleanor giggled and Liam was just so confused. "Yes. I think we could."

"It's a good thing then that I've already got your number. More reasons to contact you."

"Ummm..."

Zayn sighed. "Do you think these will be our permanent seats?"

Eleanor did not take it any longer. She burst out laughing. Liam was so embarrassed by all these that he said something he swore never to say to a woman. "Shut up, El!"

Albeit, it had no effect. Eleanor kept giggling and soon Zayn joined her laugh until the professor came in to start the class. Why were they enjoying this?

~~~

"You will not believe what happened." Liam said to Louis that night in their flat. "Remember Zayn, the bloke in leather jacket who approached us yesterday in the cafeteria? Well, today I found out that he is also in my class in Stat."

Louis looked at him grumpily from his laptop. "I know. Eleanor texted me."

"What?!"

Louis tossed his phone at him. He scanned the inbox until he found the message from El.

 _From:Eleanor Calder Today: 4:52PM_ hi, Lou. would u believe that there is a hot guy flirting with liam in our stat class? name's zayn. our liam is growing up :)

"He was not flirting with me!" Liam said hotly.

"Yeah, right." Louis growled.

Liam just sighed because Louis was being ill-tempered again, letting out his insecurities again. He sat with him in his bed and put an arm around Louis' shoulder and brushed his hair. "Louis..."

Louis nuzzled close to his neck. "You're having a new relationship and here I am, miserable, alone and growing old."

"Oh, Louis. It's nothing. Maybe the guy is just overtly friendly. Come on, turn off the waterworks."

"I am not crying!"

"If you're really mad because of it, on Saturday we will go the amusement park. My treat."

"Really? Just the two of us?"

"Yes. Just the two of us ."

"Okay. Deal."

Then that was it. Louis stayed in Liam's arms for a few more minutes before gently shoving Liam off his bed and returning to his homework.

~~~

Louis is the very definition of broken, lost and desperate to find someone to fix him. Liam didn't know back then when he first lived with the shorter guy. Louis has been a joker, sarcastic and the fun of the parties. But from his vague and few recollections of his teenage years, Liam knew something bad had happened to Louis, something that broke his heart and destroyed all his reasons to hope.

~~~

Liam resigned to his own room, disappointed again that he received no call from Zayn.

~~~

Biology the next morning was a bit of a headache, to its students at least. Why not. It was only the second meeting, but the old professor already asked a 20 page report on cells and a list of topic proposals for their semestral research project, all to be submitted next meeting. And what would this entail? A weekend in the library, of course.

While all his classmates groaned in disapproval and voiced out their complaints, Liam thought determinedly, 'Academic war has begun.'

The complaints was not heard by the professor, who escaped from them just as soon as the bell rang. Poor, old man, garnering already a bad reputation from its students.

Liam was packing his things when Zayn spoke to him again, all smiles and positively beautiful. "School's becoming a trouble, yeah?" Zayn asked, leaning to his side.

Liam flushed, feeling Zayn's breath on his ear. He answered "Yes" when he wanted to ask 'Why didn't you call last night?'

"Will you head to the cafeteria?" Zayn asked. 

_Would you eat with me if I will?_ Liam shook his head. "No. Library." They were the only two left in the room. Liam was longing for the door, wishing for freedom. What Zayn gives him is a pleasant feeling, but something Liam is accustomed to.

He noticed Zayn fowning. "Shouldn't you be eating first? Mind will not work if your stomach is empty."

Liam was about to answer that when a lady called for Zayn by the door. She signaled Zayn to come with her and Do Hurry.

Zayn mouthed to her, "I'll be there." He stood up and tapped Liam's shoulder. "I'll call you." Then he was gone.

Maybe he should have left first. He didn't like this feeling of abandonment.

~~~

Liam was walking casually on the hallway going to the library, was eating a sandwich he bought from a food stall. He should concentrate more on his studies, he thought while walking, rather than fantasizing about a boy in leather jacket. But even these thoughts were interrupted when he spotted a familiar figure on the other side of the hallway, near the exit of the college building. A man in leather jacket was kissing a woman in tight jeans. Zayn Malik. Liam recognized the woman as the girl who called Zayn earlier in the classroom.

 _Oh. Oh, I see._ Liam thought. He has a girlfriend. No reason to spark up hope.

Why did it hurt so suddenly?

He was not just kissing her. He's almost eating her face. _Eww._

_I should probably get out of here._

"Liam."

Liam jumped in surprise. It was the bleached-blonde boy Zayn was with the other boy. "Jesus, you shouldn't sneak up on people."

"Sorry, mate." He said with an amused look on his face. Liam noticed the Irish accent.

"Ummm... who are you again?"

"Niall James Horan. You can call me Niall. Majoring in Culinary Arts. Glad to meet you."

"I'm Liam. Well, of course you already know me. Liam James Payne."

"Ooh, neat. Same middle name!" Niall looked at the direction of Zayn. "So, I saw you looking at them. That's Cher, his classmate."

Liam nodded. "Girlfriend?"

Niall laughed at that curtly."No." Liam's hope rose again at that answer. "Zayn doesn't date. He likes to play around." Then it crashed again.

"Nice to hear that, Niall. But I have to go to the library."

"You're going to the lib?" Niall's face lightened up. "I'm going there, too. Mind if we go together?"

Liam shrugged. "Not really."

"Great! Come on!"

Niall kept asking him questions the whole trip. "What do you study?" "Funny, how I've never seen you around before. Fancy that?" "Do you really like Education?" "What's your music preference?"

In the library, the two shared a table and the questions still kept on coming. "Hey, do you know where can I find someone who can teach me Lit?" "Can you teach me Chemistry?"

Liam answered all of it, though halfheartedly. For his mind was somewhere else. He was thinking about Zayn.

"Hey. Would you mind giving me your friends number? That Tomlinson bloke."

Liam snapped out from his thoughts at that. "Louis? Why?"

"Harry is really interested in him. He can't keep his mouth shut about him after he saw him at the cafeteria."

"Harry?"

"You know, the other bloke with us."

Liam tried to remember that tall guy with curly mop of hair and green eyes and wide smile. Oh, interesting. "Yeah, sure." Liam smiled. "Is your friend Harry fun? Because Louis needs to loosen up."

"Harry likes cats and football. Sometimes photography, too. He is studying to be lawyer. He is vain, especially with his hair. He likes romantic comedy movies and he listens to The Beatles. He is also very optimist that it annoys me sometimes."

"Are you serious? Boy, Louis also likes cats and football. He also listens to Beatles but most of the time it's The Fray. He is into drama. And he is very pessimist! They are perfect for each other."

"Wait. Are we playing matchmaker here?"

"I think so."

They exchanged grins of approval before Liam wrote down Louis' number on Niall's notebook. Then he told Niall about his and Louis' plan on Saturday to go to the amusement park. Niall suggested to set up Louis on a blind date with Harry on Saturday.

"May I go too?" Niall asked.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to be the third wheel if ever Louis and Harry clicked together."

Niall blushed all of a sudden. Somehow, it made Liam wonder. Then the blush was gone before Liam can ask Niall about it.

They left the library at seven in the evening and grabbed hotdog on a stand as Liam walked Niall to his dormitory. The walk was silent and nice and, oh, there were many stars that night.

They were nearing Niall's dormitory when the Irish lad spoke. "Zayn likes you, ye know."

"What's that?"

"He likes you." Niall had a smile on his face that Liam cannot interpret.

"Oh, really?" and he did not how to react. His head became so light and his chest turned heavy and suddenly butterflies were fluttering in his stomach. And what should he say next? "That's nice."

"Yes, it is."

They have reached the main entrance now. No words to say, Liam waved his hand goodbye. "Saturday, 10 am."

Niall smiled. "Saturday."

Liam dreamed of leather jackets, tattoos, and a certain beautiful boy that night.

~~~

He only mentioned that they will have company when they were already in the park, and Louis was so angry.

"This day is supposed to be about us, Liam! Goddammit, are you insane?! Don't you really want to be with me? You said it will only be the two of us!"

"Hush, Louis, calm down. You're attracting attention."

"Let them know what a stupid reserved husband you are!" There were snickers from passersby when they heard this, but Louis was not about to be affected. There were really hurt in his eyes.

"Lou..." Liam looked at him sadly. Why is he being like this? "Please..."

"Never mind. I'm going home. You ruined my day." He turned to walk away but thankfully Liam managed to grab a hold of his shoulders. He stared at his friend's face.

"Lou, please stay. It will be fun, I promise. I want you to meet _him_."

But Louis just grimaced. "Stop it, Liam. Don't even try. No one will love me. Everybody thinks that I am not good enough. Everybody. I am alone."

Liam embraced him tight. And was Louis crying? Was the Louis Tomlinson crying? Louis embraced him back.

"Lou, don't be a pessimist. Someone out there will love you. Who knows maybe it's Harry you have been waiting for."

Louis drew back from the embrace to stare at him defiantly. "Harry?"

"One of Zayn's friends."

"Zayn?! Hang on. Don't tell me you two are a thing now. You've barely known him for a week."

"No, we are not! It's Niall who suggested this whole thing."

"Niall who?"

As if on a cue, Niall was already walking casually from the parks entrance, calling them. With him was Harry, a boy Liam didn't recognize, and a another boy in a leather jacket. Zayn.

_Sweet mother of Jesus._

When Harry saw them, his eyes grew wide in horror. He grabbed Niall then led him to a side where they seemed to have a serious argument. Zayn and the other boy, however, continued walking towards Liam and Louis.

"Good morning, Liam," Zayn greeted pleasantly. "Hi, Louis..."

"Hi," Liam and Louis chorused.

"Last night Niall was bullying Harry to come with him to the amusement park today. Harry was unsure so he tagged me and Josh along." Zayn said. "Looks like you set up a double date, huh?"

"No, no! This is not a double date." Liam replied, remembering what Niall said Last Thursday night. _He likes you_. Wait, does like equal attracted?

Zayn laughed lightly.

Liam continued. "It's just a... typical hangout. Niall and I just want Louis to meet Harry. Right, Louis?"

Louis just scoffed.

"So Niall already met you..." Zayn murmured. "That's alright. Keep your head on."

Niall and Harry finished their talk and went to the group. "Alright, lads. What are ye talking about?" Niall beamed.

"Something awkward," the boy, Josh, deadpanned.

Niall frowned but shrugged. "Well, Harry. I want you to meet Louis. Louis, this is my dear friend, Harry."

Harry waved his hand shyly.

"We've already met." Louis said, not even bothering to hide his annoyance.

"I know, but you haven't known his name that time. This is a proper introduction."

"You know what, forget it. Liam, I'm going home. Enjoy your time with these lads." Louis once again turned to his heels and this time, successfully, got away.

Before Liam could follow Louis, Harry was already running after him. The four of them watched as Harry stopped Louis and talked to him complete with dimples and smiles and hands waving frantically in the air. At first Louis looked really uninterested, then hesitant, then he barked a shy laugh to Harry's delight. Louis said 'fine' and allowed Harry to pull him to a nearby ride.The four laughed when Harry winked at them behind Louis' back.

Niall said, "Well that breaks the ice. What do we do now?"

"We could enjoy some rides ourselves." Josh replied. "I heard there is a new ride here. I want to try it."

"Let's go then!"

Liam stood there, unsure of what to do. Then Zayn slipped an arm around his shoulder. Surprised, Liam turned his face only to have their faces mere inches apart.

"Go with us, yeah?" Zayn was asking.

Liam's face was burning. Zayn's breath smells of cigarettes and mints. And, 'Okay', he said. And, damn, why must he be so beautiful? "That would be fun."

~~~

The new ride was not what they expected, an utter disappointment. It was a loveboat for heaven's sake. Zayn, whose arms were still around Liam, laughed hysterically while Niall and Josh argued.

"Dammit, Josh. You are an absolute idiot!"

"Shut up! I didn't know! How should I know?"

"That's what makes ye an idiot. Oh, your idiocy hungers me."

Liam checked his watch. "But it's only quarter to eleven."

"That's just Niall being Niall." Zayn said. "He just loves food."

"Not 'loves'," Josh retorted. "More like obsessed."

"If the lot of ye don't shut up this minute , I am going to eat you."

Josh sighed. "I believe that. Come on, lads, lets' find a place to eat."

"I am going to start with Liam." Niall said happily. "Liam looks delicious."

Liam reddened. The grip around his shoulders tightened. He chanced a look at Zayn to find the boy giving Niall a forbidding look. "This one's mine, Ni."

Niall waved his hand dismissively. "Alright, whatever. You know I'm just joking. About the part that I'm going to eat him, that is. He's fit, agree?"

Zayn grinned in agreement. "Agreed."

And Liam felt himself blushing terribly. "Ummm... what are you two--"

Josh groaned. "This conversation is awkward at so many levels, full of sexual tension. Are you going to have a threesome after this?"

A passing by mother yelped and quickly covered her son's ears, who looked like between the ages six to eight. She looked at them scandalized, glaring at them, before dragging her son away.

"Josh," Niall said solemnly. "Yer wide mouth brings us trouble. Kindly shut up."

"Fine. Whatever."

~~~

They came to a food court, where Niall treated them food. He sat beside Liam while Josh and Zayn were across the table.

"Do you think Louis and Harry will be fine?"Liam asked, nervous for his friend.

"'Course they will," Niall said through a mouthful of pies. "Damned if Harry ruined it. Have you seen his smile a while ago? I've never seen him so happy. You should not worry, Liam."

Liam smiled and gave it a thought. Is Harry perfect for Louis? He wishes Louis to be happy. He wants Louis to let go of his pessimistic tendencies and look at the brighter sides of life. He longs to see the day Louis Tomlinson discovers the beauty of love. And if Harry didn't turn out to be the one for Louis, Liam will not tire to be there for him. God, that makes him sound like a saint but what can he do?

"How's Stat, Liam?" Zayn asked. "Easy so far?"

"It's fine. It's like a review from the previous semester."

"Well, just contact me when things go a bit harder, yeah?" Zayn said with a smile.

"Y-yeah. I will."

The silence that came after was pleasant. No uncomfortable feelings that Liam felt before. Instead there were butterflies in his stomach, and he decided he likes this feeling. He'll know what is this feeling soon. For now, he will just enjoy it.

His phone beeped. Liam smiled widely when he read the message from Louis.

_From: Louis Tomlinson Today:11:24am _I still hate you, Liam :)_ _

Short and simple. But Liam knew what Louis wanted to say. "Yep. They're doing fine, all right."

Niall took a peek at his phone. "Told ya they will work it out." He nudged Liam's shoulder playfully with his. "We're great matchmakers."

They exchanged smiles. And Liam decided he likes Niall, too. Not as much as he likes Zayn but something in a friendlier way. He can definitely get used to this.

After lunch, the four explored the park and tried many rides. Roller coaster, loop slider, horror train, shooting galleries, arcades, merry-go-rounds, cotton candies. They saw Louis and Harry came out of a kissing booth, holding hands and giggling like idiots. The day was fun. Niall dragged Josh to the new ride just for the spite of it. And Liam and Zayn were left sitting on a bench near the arcades. The time was already five'o clock in the afternoon.

"Today's fun, yeah?"Zayn asked beside him.

"It was." Liam smiled contentedly at the crowd.

Zayn fell silent. Nervous and thinking that he said something wrong, Liam looked at Zayn and found the beautiful boy staring at his face.

"Zayn? Is something wrong?" Liam asked concerned. 

But Zayn only leaned closer. And Liam's mind screamed many things like No! What is happening? Is this really happening? God, he's so beautiful.. and Yes... And then they were kissing. Soft and sweet. Zayn moved closer and and put his arms around Liam's waist, pulling him closer, closer to him. Liam's hands traveled to Zayn's face. He deepened the kiss, then pulled Zayn's hair, earning a moan from the pretty man. And wow, Liam liked this too. He can get used to this. He can--

Someone gasped causing the two to break apart. A short black-haired girl from their university was standing before them wide-eyed. Liam tried to remember her name. Hannah? Harriet? Harper? Yes, Harper. From the College of Arts and Letters. Just like Louis.

"Why are you two kissing?" she asked, horrified.

Liam bit his lip. Right. He almost forgot. Two blokes kissing is not a picture to be accepted in the society. He tried to let go of his hold from Zayn but Zayn kept his own hold.

"Because when two people are attracted to each other, they kiss. Even if they're both males." Zayn answered casually, almost in a challenging tone.

"That's not what I meant!" Harper retorted. "I don't care about the gender roles this stupid society imposes us to play. What I want to ask is why are you two kissing in a public area? And in a place where kids are everywhere. Aren't you ashamed? Didn't you know that PDAs is a big no-no in places like this?"

Zayn laughed softly at that, in the way that Liam likes. Liam also smiled at the jet-black. "Sorry, Harper," he said.

Harper's eyebrows furrowed. "You know who I am?"

"I'm a friend of Louis, Louis Tomlinson."

Harper scoffed. "Yes, that Tomlinson. Also saw him today displaying affection to that Styles. I know love is nice and all that crap but, come on. They were nearly groping each other. Gross. Anyway, you are Liam Payne, right? And you are Zayn Malik. You are known to be a chick magnet, did you know? I will leave you two now. Bye." She left in a run.

Zayn and Liam stayed there for an awkward moment longer. Then Zayn kissed Liam's nose and stood up and offered Liam a hand. "Come, let's try the Ferris wheel."

~~~

"Did you know that when you ride a Ferris wheel with someone you like, you should confess your feelings to them when you reach the peak? You will end up together if you do." Zayn said when the wheels of their car started running.

"Really?"

Zayn, who was looking at the scenery below, looked up to him to give him a grin. "It's a legend."

Liam gave it a thought for a moment, unknowing what he should do next. Should he confess?

Zayn laughed. "You're thinking of confessing to me, aren't you?"

Liam blushed deeply. "Not true!"

"Oh, really?" he scooted closer. "Well, I'm thinking of doing it."

The heated glance Zayn was giving him was not something Liam could take. He looked at his hands lying sleeplessly on his lap. "What?" He could feel his heart throbbing fast. He looked outside the car and realized they were nearing the peak. What will Zayn do? Oh, Liam thought, it's too much!

But Zayn laughed! Laughed! "My God, you're so cute!"

Confused, Liam stared at him, his blush gone. "Eh?"

"Don't get me wrong, Liam. But we've barely known each other for a week. I don't even know what college you're in."

Liam smiled. "That's true."

"You seem to be a lovely person. We should get to know more about each other, yeah? In class, maybe?"

"In class?" Then Liam remembered Niall's words. _Zayn does not date_. "That's nice."

"It will be."

Oh. But hope is a beautiful thing.

When the ride ended, Zayn and Liam walked away, side by side, silent and exchanging each other smiles and stealing glances. It was only six o' clock. But the moon can already seen from above.

"Hey! Zayn! Liam!" Niall and Josh ran to them through the small crowd. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" Josh said, panting.

"Yes." Niall confirmed. "We've rounded up every men's room here!"

"Men's room?" Liam asked.

"Uhuh. Thought that you were making out in one of the stalls." Niall said with a shrug.

Zayn sighed. "Oh, Ni."

Liam just allowed himself to laugh heartily.

~~~

They parted ways afterwards. Liam didn't feel like eating. He want straight to his flat and straight to his bed. Staring at the ceiling, the thoughts of cotton candies and Ferris wheels and a sweet kiss and a certain beautiful boy kept running through his mind. And all he did is smile.

At about nine in the evening, Louis got home. He entered Liam's room with a look that only speaks of pure bliss. He lied beside Liam and rested his head on his chest. "I still hate you, Liam."

Liam ran his hands on Louis' hair. "I know. You already messaged me earlier."

"You know me."

"How's your day, Lou?"

Louis sighed happily. "He likes _Grease_ , Li. And Mark Twain, and The Beatles, and cats, too."

Liam kissed the top of Louis' head. "Good for you, Lou. Good for you. I'm happy for you."

They slipped into the world of dreams after. In the morning, Liam found a new message on his phone from an unregistered number.

 _From: 074-xxx-xxxx Today: 7:07 am_ Hello. This is Zayn. I was thinking of making an arrangement every Friday night or every Saturday. Teach me Bio and I'll teach you Stat. Reply? ;P

Liam smiled. Oh yes, he can definitely get used to this.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter title came from Taylor Swift's "Enchanted"  
> ...I don't know how British Education works :(


	2. And Suddenly You're All I Need

_Today is Friday. And the six of them are in the cafeteria again (Eleanor hasn't arrived yet). Exchanging jokes, making commentaries about the world, debating about anything under the sun and teasing Niall and Liam._

_"When are you two getting married again?" Harper asks._

_Liam answers. "It's still undecided but we want it to be this December."_

_"Wait. It's currently July..."Ed calculates. "That's like five months away!"_

_"Guys! Where are the wedding invitations?" Taylor chimes in._

_Niall laughs. "Soon. Soon."_

_"And Louis here would be my best man." Liam pats Louis' shoulder._

_"I'd better be."_

_"Speaking of invitations," Taylor says. "Ed and I have a gig Monday night on the bar near the art museum."_

_"The one with the delicious ice cream beer float?" Niall asks eagerly._

_Taylor laughs. "Yes, that one. I want all of you to come. Ed and I are signed up for only an hour but, hey! It's a start, right?"_

_"Right!" They all agreed._

_"So, what's new with your life?" Niall asks Harper._

_"Well, I'm still finishing a script for an upcoming movie."_

_"What movie?"_

_"An adaptation of Haruki Murakami's_ After Dark _."_

_"Will you do the book justice?" Louis asks, challenging._

_"God, I hope so. That's why I'm nervous. It' my first script for mainstream movies."_

_"And how about you, Lou?" Liam asks._

_"Why, thank you for asking, Li. I thought nobody would ask me."_

_Everybody groans._

_"Well, tonight will be the last night of our school production of Shakespeare's_ Romeo and Juliet _. All these countless nights of directing will finally pay off. But... if everything will still turn out right tonight, you'll see me at Taylor and Ed's gig Monday night. If not, you will find me dead inside my my wardrobe, presumably by a gunshot. But I don't have a gun, so--"_

_"Oh, come on, Louis!""Stop that!""You're being ridiculous!"_

_Just then, Eleanor bursts in with a look of panic and annoyance on her face. "Make a guess on who I saw this morning moving in on my floor this afternoon."_

_"The Queen?" Louis guesses._

_Eleanor glares at him. "Cher freaking Lloyd."_

_"WHAT?!" says Taylor, Harper, Niall, Liam and Louis. "Who is that?" asks Ed._

_Eleanor sits beside Harper and buries her face in her hands. "Oh, this is too much! Is the world really that small?"_

_"Did she see you?" Louis asks._

_"No. I don't think so. Luckily I was already in the elevator going down when her face came into view."_

_"You have a big problem there, pal." Harper says as she sips her tea._

_"Yes, keep talking until I reveal who I saw helping her move her things."_

_No one dares to ask, afraid of what Eleanor will say, afraid of the sign it will give from a broken yesterday that wants to haunt you tomorrow._

_"Who helped her?" Ed speaks up, not knowing the consequences it will give to his friends._

_"Charlie Hayes and Perrie Edwards."_

_Harper almost chokes on her tea while Liam felt his heart skipped a beat. The memories of that January evening when Zayn left him for Perrie flashes his mind. Niall finds Liam's hand and gives it a squeeze. He gives Niall a gratuitous smile in return._

_Eleanor finally lets her hands down and looks at them with fear and worry. "Last time I heard, the rest of them are still friends. Just like the us. Zayn, Danielle, Josh, John and Harry... most likely they are with them, too. Or at least nearby."_

_They tried to take that all in in the silence that followed, but found out they couldn't. "Wow," is all Niall could say._

_"Funny, huh?" Harper says grimly. "How they all come back to our lives in one shot."_

_"Thanks for ruining everything, El," Louis says standing up._

_"What the fuck, Louis! It's not my fault I've seen them! Or that I live in that building, for that matter! Or in this city!"_

_"Guys, calm down!" Niall says. "Come on, this is the capital. Of course at least one of them ought to go in here for a while."_

_Taylor just smiles sadly before walking away, leaving a baffled Ed._

_"Funny world," Harper keeps saying. "Proves that moving on is pointless."_

_And Liam couldn't find it in him to tell Harper off because he is the living proof that moving on is not pointless. He is engaged to Niall now. He has moved on from Zayn with no regret, and with not even a trace of desire to look back. It's true that he has not forgotten Zayn (the memories of first loves are forever, after all) but he certainly can face him today with pride and say, "I have moved on from you. I am happy now. I wish for your happiness, too." He most certainly can. But his friends? It occurs to Liam that they didn't get as lucky as him._

~~~

For the next couple of weeks you would find Liam in Zayn's company. On Saturdays, Liam would be in Zayn's room in his dormitory, studying Statistics while teaching Zayn the lessons in Biology. The study starting ten in the morning until eight in the evening, or until Niall knocks asking who would like to join him for dinner. Liam, Louis, Harry, Zayn, and Niall would go to a bar or a fast food restaurant. After dinner, Zayn, Niall and Harry would walk Louis and Liam to their flat and wish them a good night.

At school, Niall would always go with Liam to the library. Liam finds the talkative Niall endearing. He teaches Niall Chemistry.

Liam and Zayn would sit together in Statistics now. Every afternoon, when Liam has no appointment with Niall to the library, he and Zayn would go to the cafeteria or to the movies. Only the two of them. Rarely Louis and Harry would want to tag along but Liam welcomes them if they do.

Liam did not know what is the state of his relationship with Zayn was, did not know what to call it. Zayn would kiss him every chance he gets; after Biology, between breaks, after Stat. He would corner him and kiss him fully on the lips. Liam was getting used to that. He even longs for it. Zayn did that often that it got everybody thinking that he was dating Liam. That someone finally managed to change Zayn into a committed man. Zayn had a reputation for being a playboy. And, Liam, they thought of him as someone who would be perfect for Zayn. So they hoped.

Liam did not see Zayn with Cher now, but he counted three girls and one boy kissing Zayn on different occasions. That would hurt. But afterwards Zayn would invite him for a movie in his dorm, invitations always with a kiss on the cheeks. And Liam would be contented. He would feel horrible when the thoughts of Niall lying to him when he said that Zayn likes him enters his mind. So he would push those thoughts away and just hope for the best.

Liam would see a happy Louis. Louis was always smiling now and always with Harry. The two were official after two months of flirting and wooing. On Saturdays, just like Liam's Saturdays, Louis would be in Harry's room next to Zayn's room. Louis and Harry would play Wii or serenade each other with The Beatles or The Fray, or the two would simply make love.

Niall would be Niall, barging in in either of the two rooms, asking for food or help in Literature. He would disrupt everything (Harry thinks its intentional). Once, he entered Harry's room and caught a naked Harry pushing in inside a naked Louis. Instead of immediately retreating like a normal human being would do, Niall said, "Wow, all this time I thought Louis tops," noncommittally.

Other times it would be Charlie Hayes, an IT student, disturbing Zayn and Liam in their study sessions. He would borrow Zayn's video camera or hard drive or laptop because his got stolen, or lost, or crashed. Once it was John Mayer inviting Zayn for a basketball match.

Liam and Louis would share a table during lunch with Zayn, Harry and Niall. Sometimes Josh would join them but mostly he went to his bandmates. This whole arrangement goes perfectly well to Liam and Louis' liking. Louis was happy and Liam was contented.

Time passed and it was November. And still Zayn does not mention anything about himself to Liam other than the fact that he was an arts student and he came from Bradford. Niall would fill in the details for him. Zayn has three sisters whom he all loves very much. His favorite movie is Donnie Darko. He listens to Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. He started smoking when he entered college. The first person he kissed was also an arts student named Taylor Swift and the latest was a communications major named Nick Grimshaw. Niall would stop there and tells Liam that if he really wants to know more about Zayn he should jut ask the person. Liam would just smile guiltily at that because he thought that if Zayn likes him, he would tell him himself.

But disregarding the fact that he knew nothing about Zayn, Liam would admit that he was in love with that beautiful boy.

~~~

The first time Zayn touched him, it had been a cold, boring November afternoon. They were sitting on the floor beside Zayn's bed while Liam reads aloud a long reading in Biology. He would pause at every paragraph to try to explain to Zayn the terms and to make sure that he was listening.

"Liam," Zayn cut him off.

"Hmmm?"

"What do you think of Josh Devine?"

Liam stared at Zayn who was looking outside the window. "How do you mean?"

Zayn stared back at Liam, looked him in the eyes. "Do you like him?"

"Yes. He's cool."

Zayn frowned but continued. "And Charlie Hayes? That damned computer programmer who always disturbs us?"

Liam laughed but did not break eye contact. He was not sure where this was going. "He's okay, I think."

"John Mayer?"

"That's the bandmate of Josh, right? I think he's nice."

"Harry Styles."

"If Louis likes him, who am I to argue? And he makes Louis happy, what is there not to like?"

"How about Niall Horan? Among my friends, he is the closest to you. Do you like him?"

Liam shrugged. "I like Niall. He's really very friendly."

"What about me, Liam? Do you like me?"

So this was where it lead to, Liam thought. Confrontation of feelings. Liam was not ready for this. He looked down at his feet awkwardly. "I guess, I like you."

A finger lifted his chin and turned his face to Zayn's. "You are not stupid, Liam." Zayn said seriously. "Can you not see that I've got my eyes on you?" Keeping the eye-contact, he waited for Liam to respond.But when he sensed that it would not come, he continued. "I like you. First time I saw you. Gave you a proper look in the cafeteria. There's something about you. You were eye-raping me back then--"

"I was not!"

Zayn chuckled and pressed a finger on Liam's lips. "Shhh... let me finish. You looked so innocent and cute and sweet. And God. I like your eyes."

Liam started to feel that dizzy feeling again.

"You're fit and a good kisser."

"Stop it..." Liam whispered, blushing terribly.

Zayn laughed gaily. "You're easy to the eyes, Liam. I like that about you. I find it adorable that Toy Story is your favorite movie. Your aversion to spoon is a bit weird. And I am not sure if Batman suits you but believe me when I say that I like that all about you. You're a good mentor in biology. Everytime you come into view I cannot help but smile. I just want to kiss you everytime. I like you." Zayn was whispering now. "I really, really like you." 

_Good heavens_ , Liam thought, _bless my soul_. He did not expect this. Niall was right.

"So... how about it, Liam? Do you like me to?"

"Yes." Liam answered. "I do. Very much."

The smile that Zayn gave after was blinding. He leaned down and kissed Liam lightly on the lips. Liam closed his eyes and felt the kiss which deepened on the next second. Tongue coaxed his mouth open and Liam complied without a second's hesitation. But when a hand found its way in front of Liam's pants, Liam had to stop it.

Zayn pulled back and looked at Liam worriedly. "I... You're not a virgin, are you, Liam?"

"No".

"Do you not trust me, Liam?"

"I do trust you. It's just that... it's my first time, with another guy."

Zayn smiled reassuringly. "I am deeply honored, Liam James Payne. Do not worry. I will not hurt you. Just trust me."

And with that he kissed Liam's neck while his hand slipped inside Liam's pants, past the boxers and stroke him there. Liam grabbed Zayn's shoulders for support.

"Open your legs wider."Zayn whispered in his ear. Liam did as he was told and Zayn inched closer.

What happened after was a blur for Liam. Zayn sucked his neck, leaving a mark that will sure stay there for days. Zayn lifted up Liam's shirt and sucked one of Liam's nipples while twiddling the other with his fingers. He pulled Liam free from his pants and stroked faster. And all Liam did through was gasp for air and struggle to not come too early. He does not remember when had they moved up on Zayn's bed and when Zayn removed all his clothing. But they had, Zayn had. Liam lied on his stomach, Zayn towering above him. A finger pushed inside Liam. It hurt but it felt good. A second finger was added and scissored him inside.

"Fuck.." Liam muttered.

"Relax." Zayn said and added another finger, thrust in and pulled out repeatedly. He hit something inside of Liam, making the boy moan loudly.

"There. Right there, Zayn."

The fingers were gone. He heard Zayn whisper, "Just relax" into his ear before holding him by the shoulders to steady him. Then, Liam felt something entering his hole. Zayn's hands moved down to Liam's hips and continued pushing his length in.

"Zayn... it hurts. Please stop."

"Shhh," was all Zayn said while sliding in. He hit that spot again, eliciting another loud moan from Liam.

"There. Again. Do it." Liam said through gritted teeth.

Thrust and pull and thrust and pull again. Liam's mind was blank as he chants nothing but Zayn's name. His knuckles grew white for his tight grip in the bed sheets. Zayn's breaths were close to his ear. His sweaty body pressed against Liam's back while one of his hands clutched Liam's cock to keep him from cumming. The other hand was on Liam's hip to keep him in place.

Then they came together, and Liam fell asleep after.

~~~

He woke up with his head on Zayn's broad chest, arms around his shoulders. Zayn was idly brushing Liam's hair. Outside, it was dark.

"You awake, babe?" Zayn asked quietly.

He looked up to Zayn. "Yeah, what time is it?"

"Just past seven. You can still rest if you want to." Zayn kissed the top of his head.

Liam hummed happily and closed his eyes again.

"That was the good? The sex, I mean."

Liam looked at Zayn, red in the face. "Yeah, it was."

Zayn gave him a sweet smile. "Good to know."

"Zayn?"

"Yeah?"

"What's your favorite color?"

Zayn raised an eyebrow before realization hit him. "Oh. I see." Then he laughed. "Of course. I have not said anything about myself to you, have I? I greatly apologize." He kissed Liam again on his forehead.

"It's all right."

"Red. I like red."

"What about book?"

"Hmmm... Harry Potter."

"Do you have a favorite TV show?"

"Dr. Who. And Ben 10. I hate Carrie Diaries, Gossip Girl and anything Harry makes me watch."

"Actor?"

"David Henry."

"Marvel or DC?"

Zayn giggled. "Marvel."

Liam hoffed. "Why?"

That was the start. They were still in bed up until 9, neverminding to eat dinner, just asking and answering questions with playful banter and gentle kisses on the side. At ten, Zayn convinced Liam to sleep in for the night since it was late. Liam agreed, after convincing himself that Louis can survive a night without him. At eleven, Zayn and Liam went downstairs to the kitchen to make some sandwiches.

All the way, Liam couldn't stop smiling.

"You're happy," Zayn observed.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because I like you."

Zayn looked surprised at first then he smiled shyly at the floor. "Sappy."

At midnight, they lied again on Zayn's bed, comforted and contented in each other's arms. Zayn kissed Liam goodnight. When they woke up in the morning, the time was eight. Zayn sent him off. Liam giggled as Zayn kissed him on the nose. And he couldn't stop blushing and grinning like an idiot on his way home. Yep. He's definitely in love, and had fallen knee-deep into it.

~~~

He forgot to ask Zayn what is the state of their relationship now.

~~~

Louis was still sleeping when Liam reached their flat. Louis looked tired but happy sleeping there tightly covered in blankets in his bed. It was 8:30, there was nothing unusual in a Louis waking up at noon on a weekend. It was no secret that he is a deadbeat during those times. What's unusual was Louis was sleeping here and someone was using the shower there.

Then Liam shrugged it off, knowing that it could be Harry inside the shower. So Liam slumped on the couch and tried to get more sleep. Just then the shower stopped. Liam was right. It was Harry who stepped out, hips wrapped in Liam's limited edition Pokemon towel.

"Liam?" Harry asked, clearly surprised at his sudden presence. He laughed nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here." Liam pointed out blankly.

"Yes, of course, right, this is your flat. What I mean is, didn't Zayn keep you for like three more hours at least?"

"No."

"Damn that Zayn," Harry growled.

"Well, it's alright if you and Louis wants to spend the day together alone in here. I will just go--"

"No! Stay! I'm sorry. That's not what I meant!"

An awkward silence came after. "You accidentally stepped on a spider," Liam said.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Harry cried and scraped the offending foot with the araneid on the mat. In another moment of higgledy-piggledy, he stepped back and hit his head in the medicine cabinet. "SHIT!"

Louis groaned from his room. "Why the hell are you so loud? Don't you know I'm still sleeping?"

"Sorry, Lou," Liam said.

Harry went to Louis and Liam saw him kissed the boy's closed eyes. "Wake up, Boo," he said gently. "It's eight-thirty."

Louis opened his eyes and smiled at Harry lovingly. He sighed softly, "I love you."

Harry's smile widened. "I love you, too." Then he kissed Louis on the lips.

Louis turned his head to the side. "Stop, morning breath."

"That's just fine with me."

Louis took in Harry's appearance. "You took a shower without me?"

"Sorry, Boo. I was hoping I could get you breakfast in bed so I got up first. And I had to borrow Liam's towel. Hope you didn't mind, Li."

"I didn't. It's fine."

Anyone that would look at them right now, the way that they stare at each other, would agree that they are perfect for each other. And Liam knew that Harry was just good for Louis.

Harry helped Louis get up from bed. "So, I'll just take a shower alone then," Louis teased.

"Wow," Liam said, noticing the red marks all over Louis' body; in his arms, stomach, and oh God, he didn't want to look anymore. "You had a naughty night, didn't you?"

Harry snorted a laugh whle Louis snapped, "You're the one to talk, Liam Payne. As if you hadn't had one yourself."

"What are you talking about?"

"Shut up. Louis and I, we had to move here when we started hearing, um, inappropriate sounds coming from Zayn's room yesterday in your study sessions."

"You were so loud, Li!" Louis exclaimed. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Liam felt redness creeping on his skin. "Stop it, guys!"

Harry screeched. "Zayn, right there! Oh, there, Zayn, yes!"

"I don't remember saying that!"

"'Course you don't, babe!" Louis said patiently. "I'm sure your mind has been fucked away." Louis and Harry laughed to Liam's embarrassment.

"I hate the both of you!"

Just then a knock came from the door. Liam ran to answer it just so he can't see the mischievous looks on Harry and Louis' faces.

It was Niall on the other side.

"Niall? What brought you here?"

Niall smiled sheepishly and hold up a paper box. "I've brought cake... for you. My refrigerator is full and I thought I might share food... and you're the first person I thought of since... since Zayn sent you off this morning without breakfast. That's it."

Harry, suddenly appearing by Liam's side, spoke up. "How very thoughtful, Ni. But, I'm sad. You never share us your food. What happened?"

Niall frowned, but Liam sensed panic. "Why? Is it wrong to share?" Niall shoved the box to Liam's hands. "Eat up, Liam."

"You might as well join us, Ni." Liam said, taking the box. "Come, it's cold outside." Liam led the way in. He noticed Harry giving a funny look to Niall. Niall dodged the look and instead followed close to him to the small kitchen.

Louis was already inside the shower while Harry left Niall and Liam for a moment to search for something to wear from Louis' drawers.

"So..." Niall started while Liam prepared plates. "What happened last night? You did not leave Zayn's room."

Liam immediately reddened.

Niall gasped at Liam's reaction. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You two... did 'it', then. So sorry."

"No, it's okay. Louis and Harry knows anyway. And they have been teasing me terribly loads about it." He grabbed a fork and started eating the cake. He heard Niall chuckle. "What?"

"Those two, Louis and Harry, they compliment each other well, huh?" Niall said, still chuckling.

"Yeah, makes me regret why we introduced them to each other."

Niall bumped his shoulder to Liam. "Oh, come on. You don't mean it."

"I don't but still..." he sighed. "Thanks for this cake, Ni."

"Oh, it's nothing." Niall laughed. "I just saw you this morning and..."

"What a lovely talk you are having." Harry came and put his arms around Niall and Liam. Liam noticed again the look Harry was giving Niall. It was forbidding. "Whatcha talking about?"

"Nothing you might get interested in." Niall sputtered.

"Try me." Harry said. Then he looked at Liam seriously. "You are Zayn's, Liam. I root for you to change my friend for the better. And if you change him, it will be a feather in your cap. Do you know that on that day in the cafeteria, when he got your number, he said to us that there is something special about you. And I just knew that you're the one for him. Right, Niall?"

"Yes, Liam. He said that."

And fuck if that did not make Liam confused. "Okaayyy...."

There was another knock on the door. And again Liam answered it. This time the visitor was Eleanor Calder. She was with two other girls Liam did not recognize.

"Hello, Liam!" Eleanor greeted.

"Hi?"

"You have any plans for today?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"Great! My friend, Danielle, will have a party by the beach tonight. You know Danielle, right?" Of course Liam knew who Danielle was. She was the daughter of the president of their university. Everybody knew her. "Come with us! I'll help you find a girlfriend! And bring Lou!"

At the mention of Louis' name, Harry came stumbling on Liam's side. He looked at the girls curiously. "Who are they, Li?"

"Ummm...."

Eleanor however had other things on her mind when she saw Harry. "Who is he, Liam? Oh, is he your boyfriend?"

"No. He is Louis'."

Eleanor gaped at him. "Louis has a new boyfriend and he didn't even tell me?" Then she stared at Harry angrily. "You're his new boyfriend?"

"You're the bitch Louis talks about?"

Eleanor's jaw dropped. "How dare he. Tell him to go fuck himself!"

"Why would he? He's already fucking me."

Again Eleanor gaped at the answer. She looked like she's ready to kill. Harry, however was looking pleased with himself. The two broke into a staring contest. Liam and the two other girls were enjoying that quite of an episode.

It was unlikely for Eleanor to surrender in contests like that, but she did after a while. "Well, I'm happy for Louis. And you, kid, you better take care of him. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't care about Louis anymore. Hear me?" she said.

Harry waved it off. "Don't worry. He's in good hands."

Eleanor nodded her head at him before facing Liam again. "So, have you got any plans for tonight?"

"None."

"Good. Come with us to the party."

"I'm not invited."

"I'm inviting you."

"That's not a good idea."

"Actually..." Harry interrupted again. "Parties are fun. Why can't you go, Liam? Bitch, is he allowed to bring more friends?"

"Don't call me that!" Eleanor yelled. "But yes, you can bring more friends. That's why I'm asking Liam and Louis in the first place. Danielle wouldn't mind if you bring more."

"Awesome!" Harry cheered. "Go, Li. Ask Zayn to come with you. Ask him!"

"Why not you? You're dorm mates."

"Because I'm not his boyfriend. You are."

At that, Eleanor groaned. "Now, why you never tell me that you and Zayn are a thing now. I mean, it should have been obvious since you are this PDAers in Stat but--"

"We're not a thing, El."

Harry frowned deeply at this. "You are not?"

Eleanor smiled. "Well, sort it out. Talk to him at the party. I'll pick you all at seven. Goodbye!"

When she was gone, Harry focused on him. "You're not a thing yet?"

"I don't know, Harry."

"I root for you, Liam. You know that, right? Call him now, invite him. I will just go back to Louis."

Well, fuck him. He stared hopelessly at Harry's retreating back before going back to the kitchen. Niall was still there, playing with his phone. He looked up, though, and gave him a big smile.

They finished the cake.

Liam wondered why relationships has to be labeled and why was it that he have to make the first move and not the other way around, to know if something more will happen to their relationship, if he has a reason to hope to begin with. He was in love Zayn, yes, but he was afraid. Very afraid.

END OF CHAPTER TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter title came from Avril Lavigne's "Smile"  
> ...Sorry if I upload too long. School is keeping me busy


	3. Darling, Some Things Are Meant To Be

_Taylor Swift locked herself in her room that afternoon and cries. It's not the first time she cries over a guy, but it's the first time she cries of fear; a guy will return to her life and judge her again. John Mayer is her first love, much like Liam's Zayn. When he had finished with her and told her things that hurt, she thought,_ I'll get over him... eventually. 

_She moved into the capital city right after college not because of John. Just because her heart was broke doesn't mean her dreams are shattered. She moonlights to be a renowned singer-songwriter. So she busies herself in writing songs and singing them. She even rented a bedspace near a recording studio for good measures._

_On her third week of her stay in the capital, after she made her groceries, she went to a cafeteria. It was raining hard, she's feeling cold and she needed coffee. Then she stumbled upon Eleanor Calder on the counter. At first, this surprised her, then she thought that it is not only she who thinks that greater opportunities lies in the capital city. She easily recognized Eleanor. Eleanor is a friend of Danielle Peazer who invited John who then invited Taylor on that beach party. Eleanor was also the one who kissed Cher Lloyd on a dare. She was also the one who brought this nice guy named Liam Payne. Taylor knew. Liam looked as any innocent guy on that party._

_Eleanor ushered her to the seats nearest the balcony where she discovered they were a group. There was Liam, Louis, Niall and Harper. Taylor felt happy. Familiar faces from the university. She didn't remember now why but she gave Louis a lift and drove him to his flat. There, she met Ed Sheeran._

_And maybe it's destiny that she met Ed Sheeran. They have the same hobby, same interests, same passion towards music, the same dreams of making it in the music industry. And although they are seven. it's Ed that she spends most of her time with. He is fun to be with. He became her bestfriend._

_She hears Ed calling her outside the door, breaking her reveries._

_Taylor wipes the last of her tears and gets up to open the door. Ed stands there holding two cups of coffee. "Hi," Taylor whispers. Oh, but Ed is such a sweetheart._

_"You ran away after El announced something about Cher and your other university colleagues. I got worried. Were you crying?"_

_"Yes. But I'm fine now. Do enter."_

_They sit on Taylor's bed, the only place they could sit on really. Ed passes her one of the cups and they drink in silence._

_"Are you okay?" Ed asks quietly._

_"Yes."_

_"Was it Harry?"_

_Taylor laughs at that. "He is Louis' problem, not mine. Nice try, thought."_

_"Okay then... Charlie? Perrie? John? Cher?"_

_"John."_

_Taylor thinks it's unfair for Ed, whom they are friends with for the past three years, that he doesn't know the whole story of their past lives. Maybe she should tell him now._

_"You don't need to tell me anything, Taylor, if that's what you're thinking," the red-head says."_

_"Ed?"_

_"Well, if you must know, I'm having lots of fun making the story in my head, based from the way you guys behave and tell vague things about your past. It's fun. See? I got the part that Zayn was this jerk who broke Liam's heart, and Niall is Liam's knight in shining armor. Cher left Eleanor because she's not open to those kind of relationships. I'm still not sure about Louis and Harry, though, and Harper and Charlie."_

_"Do you want me to--"_

_"No, don't I am enjoying this. It's a puzzle. Please don't try to spoil it," he smiles at her reassuringly. "Oh, is that your cupboard? Look, it's empty. Come, let's buy you a new stock."_

_Maybe he doesn't really want to hear anyway._

~~~

_They drive to the supermarket. And being the good friends that they are, they pick up Harper from her flat along the way. They know that Harper is such a lazy person who don't bother to stock food until she's dying of starvation._

_It was already six in the evening and they are by the meat section. The three are just discussing this case of liabilities a man faces on the news they watched the night before. Then the topic shifts to a proposal (Taylor: Why don't we move in into one house? The seven of us. Ed and Harper: Yeah, why not?). Then... then..._

_Taylor wants to laugh. Three years ago, her life changed when she met six wonderful people after buying groceries. It is about to change again here. What a small world it has become, and how silly. It was only this afternoon when El announced their doom, and now they are here. This is ridiculous._

_John Mayer and Harry Styles are here._

_The problem with this situation is that_ they _found them first. Harry runs to them. There's no way out._

_"Harper! Taylor! Hi!" Harry beams excitedly and throws them a hug._

_"Get your hands off us, you filthy bag of shit," Harper hisses, pulling herself from the embrace._

_"I missed you too, Harp," Harry says. Taylor wonders why the heck is he so happy; there is no guilt... or something. Behind him, John stands close, looking at them with no wonder. Taylor wills herself not to look at him directly._

_"Don't call me that name, pompous bastard," Harper hisses again._

_"Wow, your vocabulary has greatly improved. I'm so proud of you." Harry smiles at her. "How are you two? It's been years. Do tell."_

_It irritates Taylor. You broke Louis' heart. Louis is my friend. How very dare of you. Where is the guilt, the remorse, the apologies? The whole lot of you are so mean._

_"Oh, and who might you be?" Harry looks at Ed in askance._

_"Ed. Ed Sheeran. I'm--"_

_"He's Louis' flatmate." Taylor cuts in. There! That look of shame flashing right on Harry's face. That's great. What is it like, hearing that name again, Styles? Taylor wants to ask._

_"Louis is here, too?" Harry asks after a moment, a smile forming again on his face. And no, it's so wrong. taylor wants to scream. Why is there hope in his smile and in his tone? Why? "He's here? I've been looking for him for so long."_

_Ed - poor, innocent Ed - actually answers, "Oh do you want me to tell him that?"_

_"ED!" Taylor and Harper shrieks at him._

_John laughs, joining the conversation. He lightly punches Ed's shoulder. "You're one funny guy, Ed."_

_"Where can I find your flat?" Harry asks hopefully._

_"Don't you dare touch Louis again, Styles. I'm warning you," Harry says angrily. "Don't you dare. You don't deserve him. You're nothing but a scum, moronic, son-of-a--"_

_"We would appreciate it if you stop using offending words, Harper," John says coolly. "It's very unbecoming of you. I'm not sure Charlie would be happy if he hears you use demeaning terms."_

_"Why you pratty--"_

_"We'll leave now. Come, Harry. I'm sure you'll meet you Louis again one of these days. Quit sulking. Goodbye, Harper, Ed."_

_Taylor hates it, hates it very much. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. Am I that worthless to his eyes? After all these years, I'm still not good enough._

_She's sure there will be more of these encounters, just as she is sure that Ed will tell Louis about Harry. This is a waning world, and things are happening against their wants._

~~~

The music was so loud, Liam can't even hear his own breathing. My goodness, are these people born deaf? He tightened his grip on Zayn's arm, who was leading him by the shore, to an isolated part. Zayn laughed adoringly at him everytime he stumbled. But Liam could not help it.

Louis and Harry, proving that they were total dicks, didn't go with them to that event, claimed that they have to watch this new movie of Will Smith that same night because they are a huge fan. Niall went with Liam and Zayn though, but they left him in the crowd with a petite brunette and a bottle of whiskey.

Lying on the sand, Liam watched the night sky. It was very lovely, as lovely as the boy lying beside him.

Are you sure you want to stay with me?" Liam asked nervously. "Because you can go back to the party if you want to." Inside the crowd was getting louder. Flo Rida's _Club Can't Handle Me_ was playing in the background.

Zayn leaned over to him and smiled. "As if I can leave you, Lee-yum." He brushed his lips against Liam's and it felt nice. "I will stay with you. Besides we need some alone time. Like this." He kissed Liam fully on the lips. His hand traveled underneath Liam's thin shirt and pinched an nipple.

Liam squirmed. He was getting hard. It was only last night when they first done this but it felt so long ago.

"Guys, can you keep your hands to yourselves?" Charlie said, sitting on the rocks. Right, they brought Charlie there, too. But apparently the IT student doesn't really do well on social gatherings, deciding to sneak out and nod off there on the rocks than have have someone drunkenly grope his ass inside.

"Why, Charlie?" Zayn teased. "Feeling so alone tonight?"

"None of your business, Malik."

Zayn laid on his back again on the sand and just hooked his pinky finger to Liam's. If Liam was disappointed that Zayn did not continue what he was doing prior, he didn't voice it out.

"I'm always curious about the two of you," Charlie was speaking. "Are you dating? Has Liam changed you, Zayn? You were always together, acting like this cute, giddy couple. But when you're not with Liam, you return to your womanizer self. I saw you kissing Danielle last Friday. So tell me, because I'm lost."

Liam waited for Zayn, because like hell he knows how to answer that. Moreover, he wanted to know how Zayn feels and how he views their relationship.

Zayn just sighed, though. "None of your business, Hayes," he said quietly.

"Suit yourself then," Charlie snapped and did not speak again.

Josh came later and pulled Zayn back to the party. Zayn pecked Liam's cheek before leaving.

Unknowing what to do, Liam stood up from his position and sat beside Charlie on the rocks.

"Why aren't you going back to the party? " Liam asked.

"Not really my crowd. What's up between you and Zayn?"

Liam tried to think before giving an answer. Can't anyone see that he is lost too? "I don't know."

Charlie hoffed. "All the years Zayn spent in college, many girls have tried to change him. All have failed, you know. But I'm not saying you'll fail, too, get that? Compared to the other girls -and boys - he's been with, he's letting you stick with him the longest."

"So what does that mean?"

"Maybe you're good for him. Maybe you belong together. God knows what Zayn needs is a good smack in the head. Maybe you are that good smack in the head."

_Everybody thinks that I'm good for Zayn, but what does Zayn think? And for how long will he let me stand by him?_

"You need to sort out your lovelife, man." Charlie patted his shoulder.

"How about yours?"

"What? Shut up. I'm not talking about it with you."

Liam just stared at him expectantly.

"Well, there's this girl majoring in Literature. Name's Harper. Cute girl, charming, jet-black, pale skin, blue eyes, a bookworm. I've been courting her for months. Up until now she wouldn't even let me hold her hand."

"Oh, I see."

"What do you mean you 'see'? This is problematic. I've never been so serious about a girl in my entire life."

"Harper Richards? Louis and I knows her. We can help you."

"No, thanks. A true man never asks another man for a favor to get the girl."

"Whose principle was that?"

"None of your business... Mine."

"Liam!" Eleanor ran from the crowd and threw herself at Liam. She seemed to be crying. "Liam, I need your help. There's been a problem."

"You too?" Liam asked.

Eleanor sat properly. "This is very important. This concerns my whole identity, Liam, so listen. I think I may be having a crisis."

Charlie and Liam exchanged glances before Liam urged her to go on.

"They were playing Spin-the-Bottle over the party and of course I joined in. But you know how that game works: tell-me-who-your-crush-is-or-make-out-with-someone. So the bottle landed on me and I said 'dare' and you're leprechaun friend, Niall - he's horrible - dared me to kiss Cher Lloyd. So we kissed. And... and..."

"And what?"

"I think I liked it. I kissed a girl and I liked it!"

"There was a lapse of silence before Liam spoke again. "Sorry, I was waiting for another Katy Perry reference."

"I'm being serious, Liam! What should I do? Am I gay? What do I tell my parents?"

Fuck me, Liam thought. He didn't know. His family had always been open-minded. They are just that type of family who thinks that if you love someone, be it boy or girl, it's okay, you are accepted, as long as you're happy and you discovered how to love. So, at a very young age, Liam already sorted out his identity crisis, because there was no crisis to begin with.

"Liam?" Eleanor poked him. "Please, what do I do?"

"Maybe you're just confused. Sober up and think about it in the morning." For Eleanor reeked of alcohol.

That seemed enough to calm El down. "You're right, I would." El whispered something under her breath that Liam did not catch. Just then, Niall appeared with a blonde girl. He looked so drunk himself and said girl was helping him walk straight.

"He asked me to accompany him so..." the girl muttered.

"Hi, El. Nice show you had back there!" Niall said happily and slumped down beside Charlie, the girl following suit.

"You're an evil person, do you know that?" Eleanor cried again.

Niall frowned. "What's up with her?" he asked Charlie.

"She kissed a girl and she liked it. Now she's having an identity crisis because it felt so wrong but at the same time felt so right."

The Irish boy hollered a laugh. "So what's got her worried? Does that mean she's in love tonight?" he doubled into another feat of laughter. Liam and Charlie joined along.

"I hate all of you!" Eleanor stood up, looking truly angry. "even you, Liam, you're laughing, too. I have a huge problem here and you're laughing at me!" she stormed back to the party.

It took a while for the three lads to calm themselves from laughing too hard. The girl with Niall looked at them with amusement. Afterwards, Niall quietly shifted between Charlie and Liam and slipped his arms around Liam's waist and rested his head on the crook of his neck. "I've missed you tonight, Li," he slurred. And, yup, he's reeking of alcohol, too. Liam gently put his arms around Niall in a protective manner and brushed his hair with his hand.

"You're dead drunk, aren't you?"

Niall cleared his throat. "Schuss boomer. Schuss boomer. Schuss boomer. I can still say schuss boomer, Li. I'm not drunk."

Meanwhile, Charlie was talking to the new girl. "I don't think we've been introduced. You are?"

"Taylor Swift. Music and arts student." the girl held out a hand. Charlie shook it.

"I'm Charlie Hayes, IT. This is Liam Payne, Education. And Niall Horan, Culinary Arts," he pointed. Niall gave a grunt while Liam smiled at her.

"So why aren't you at the party?" Taylor asked. Inside, John Mayer could be heard singing, and the party getting wilder.

"It's so wild." Charlie answered. "I don't think I can stand being in the same room with those animals. Why did I ever agree to come in here?"

"Because you want to get laid." Niall answered from the crook of Liam's neck.

"Shut the fuck up." Charlie gritted his teeth and was about to punch at him when he stopped himself and just let out a sigh. "Because Eleanor invited Liam and Liam invited Zayn and Zayn dared me to go in here if I'm truly not a pussy to women. My fault, really."

"How about you, Taylor?" Liam asked.

"Same reason as Charlie. I didn't want to go but John invited me so..."

"John who?" Charlie wanted to clarify.

"John Mayer."

That seemed to confuse the IT student up. "John Mayer, as in John Mayer? That bloke singing right now? Funny, I live with him in the dorm and I don't think I heard him mention you before, no offense. He's always with this Katy woman. How long have you known each other?"

Taylor stiffened. When she spoke, her voice fell. "We've been dating for three months."

Niall laughed in a dry tone. He then pushed himself from Liam and stood up, wobbling. "Come, dear lady. Let's have a drink. For one-sided type of love and insensitive assholes."

Liam did not know what Niall meant by that (maybe the petite brunette was giving him a hard time), but he hoped he wouldn't hurt himself.

"I think I'll drink to that," Taylor agreed and followed him back to the party.

"Well, it's the two of us again." Charlie sighed dramatically.

"Taylor Swift." Liam thought. "Wasn't she Zayn's first girlfriend here in college?" That's right, he remembered Niall telling him. That was why the name sounded familiar.

"Oh, yeah. I remember. But no, not Zayn's 'girlfriend'. He never do relationships. More like first bang, making out, fucking fuck."

_That's mean,_ Liam thought. But he did remember that she was Zayn's _first kiss_ in college.

"Anyway, joke's on her. I understand why John never talks about her. Does she think she's John's type? She looks so plain."

_Hey, wait a minute,_ Liam thought wildly, _you're being too rude_. Just as he was about to tell him to fuck off, Zayn arrived, smiling like the sun, and peppered Liam's cheeks with kisses.

"Missed me?" Zayn whispered to his ear answer, _"Y-y-yes"_ , Zayn laughed gaily at his face. "You are really adorable, Lee-yum."

"How was the party?" he asked.

"Fun." Zayn said thoughtfully. "But you're not there, and we're not alone now. Let's go to the resthouse, yeah?"

"Okay." "Yeah." Zayn helped him stand up and led him again away.

"Bye." Charlie said whilst staring ahead at the ocean.

Liam would be damned, but he silently wished that Charlie would never get the girl.

~~~

Liam and Zayn giddily entered the resthouse Danielle rented for that party. They saw that three rooms were already occupied. The two boys laughed at the sounds they heared coming from the other sides of the doors, as if they were not about to do it themselves.

They climbed the stairs to search for a vacant room in the second floor. And when they did find one, they almost ran into it. Meanwhile outside, the party was still ongoing, Simon Curtis' _Flesh_ was playing. Zayn slammed the door shut and push Liam hard on the bed. He discarded his shirt quick and climbed on top of the boy, then kissed him in the way Liam likes.

There was something wrong. Liam did not analyze it at first.

Liam's hands roamed around Zayn's body. He tilted his head back to allow the raven-haired boy to explore more the insides of his mouth. He was used to that by then, the kissing part, wanted it so much.

Leaving Liam's mouth, Zayn bit Liam's neck lightly. Then he pulled Liam's pants down and tossed it somewhere in the room. He put his hand inside Liam's boxers and stroked there.

The Wolverhampton boy contorted a face of both pain and pleasure. Zayn chuckled above him and said, "God, you're so cute. let me blow you, yeah?" He was down on his knees between Liam's thighs, and get rif of his boxers. "Liam?"

"God, yes!" he buried his face on the pillows, reddening in embarrassment.

Laughing again, Zayn kissed the tip of Liam's member and licked from the base to the top.

"Zayn, please!"

Zayn took him whole. Liam could feel the tongue swirling around and around and the teeth. He looked down at the beautiful boy, caught his breath at the lovely sight of the boy bobbing up and down in between his thighs.

"Zayn..." he panted. "I'm going to come."

The Bradford boy freed his cock and moved on top of him again, kissing him on the lips. Zayn reached over and fumbled through the bedside drawer. "Knew there had to be it somewhere," he mumbled.

"Zayn?"

"Found it," he grinned mischievously. In his hands was a bottle of lube and a pack of condom. "Well, Danielle knows how to throw a party, all right." He opened the bottle and poured quite an amount to his fingers. "Need to stretch you a little. It was only last night, yeah?"

This was the part Liam's not used to. Zayn inserted a finger inside of him. It was painful. Liam gripped the bedsheets. Zayn added another and scissored inside. Liam's grip moved into Zayn's arms. And when Zayn inserted a third one, Liam lost it and moaned loudly. He was not used to that, but wanted it. Zayn thrusted his fingers a few more times before withdrawing it. He applied lube to his cock and put on the condom. He lifted Liam's legs and dropped them on his shoulders, positioning himself on Liam's hole. Liam resumed his hold on his arms.

"You ready?" he asked in a hoarse voice. Liam nodded, and just like that he pushed himself inside Liam.

Liam let out another loud moan. Zayn stayed still, looking at him with concern until he gave him the signal to start moving.

"ZaynZaynZayn..." he chanted, eyes tightly shut.

Zayn kissed him on the lips. They came together (Zayn accidentally biting down Liam's lower lip, hard) and fell asleep.

But before he fell into unconsciousness, Liam realized what was wrong. Zayn did not taste like himself. He tasted of lipstick, of strawberries.

~~~

Zayn was still asleep when Liam woke up. He was on the other side of the bed, too far for Liam's liking. He moved close and threw an arm around the beautiful boy, snuggling on his neck.

Liam couldn't help but smile. He felt it again, the butterflies in his stomach, a friendly reminder that he is in love with this utterly beautiful boy in his arms. He kissed him on the cheek then rested his head on his shoulders. He would've stayed like that forever, or until Zayn wakes up, but something on the floor caught his attention, something that shouldn't: Zayn's phone.

He knew it's wrong, but maybe just a little look won't do any harm. He got up, careful not to wake Zayn, and picked up the gadget.

Three new voice messages from Perrie Edwards. _Who is she?_ he wondered. Zayn had never mentioned her before. He should stop snooping, he knew, better to stop that now. But some things are really meant to happen, really. Accidentally he opened one message.

_"So, hi... I hope you remember me. You made an impression last night. So sorry I had to leave Danielle's party early, you know how it works... So, yes, I'm free on Saturday. You can see me. I think you're cute, too, by the way. Bye."_

_That's enough,_ Liam thought. One is enough. He placed the phone back to the floor, and tried to think. His knees were shaking and his head felt like exploding. It's not like you did not see this coming, right, Li? But you love him. Maybe you can ask him... You're not his fucking boyfriend... I know! Just pretend you didn't hear anything, good idea? And besides, for all you know, she could just be someone Zayn will fuck one time then toss right after, right? Right? He'll be choosing you. He likes you, said it himself. Maybe.. But why do I have a bad feeling about this? Really, really bad feeling. Stop it, Liam. Stop it. Stop. Just _stop_. Zayn.

It's the first time Liam realized how vulnerable love can make you and put you in these kinds of predicament.

END OF CHAPTER THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title Came from Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling In Love With You"


	4. You Are My Sweetest Downfall

_At last they have finished moving in their things in this new unit. Maybe they will start arranging their things when they rested._

_Cher lies on the couch completely exhausted. Charlie busies himself playing Flappy Bird on his phone on the floor, groaning every once in a while because he can't score more than ten points. Perrie is by the window, checking her watch because where are those two buying food, at the North Pole? It's already eight, and she wants food._

_The door opens and John and Harry strides in with grocery bags and fastfood takeouts._

_"Finally," Perrie says, grabbing the takeouts from Harry. "I've been waiting for forever. And why did you you buy groceries? No wonder you took so long. Let's eat!" But she suddenly notices the indiscernible looks on John and Harry's faces. "What's wrong?"_

_"Do you have any idea who we ran into in the supermarket?" Harry asks, attempting to smile._

_"No, but do you have any idea who we thought we saw in the elevator in the afternoon?" Charlie asks, finally accepting defeat on Flappy Bird and shoves his phone to his pocket._

_"Hey, I ask you first!" Harry pouts._

_"Who did you think you see?" John asks._

_"Eleanor freaking Calder," Cher answers, sitting up on the couch. "Oh, and that is not all. We might be living on the same floor."_

_"Nice." Harry smiles. "Might we expect a hot lesbian sex tonight?"_

_Irritated, Cher says, "Fuck you, Harry. I'm already married. What would your friend say if he heard you saying that. And even if I'm not, I wouldn't go for. I'm not gay."_

_"What's wrong with being gay?" Perrie asks._

_"I didn't say there's something wrong with being gay. You know I support the LGBTQ community but just because I support them doesn't mean I have to be like them. That's not how it works." She goes back to her lying position. "Anyway, who did you see at the supermarket?"_

_"Taylor Swift and Harper Richards," Harry answers._

_Charlie stands up quickly and looks at Harry pleadingly. "How is Harper? Does she look all right? Is she still as cute? Did she say anything about me? Did you tell her that I'm sorry? Tell me!"_

_"Calm down," Perrie chides. "Is that why John is so quiet?"_

_"Yes, he's smitten if I may say. Why, Taylor has become this beautiful swan. You wouldn't even recognize her. He is in love."_

_"Shut it." John glares at Harry before storming out of the room._

_"Tell me how is Harper." Charlie pleads again. "What did she say?"_

_"Well," Harry scratches the back of his head. "She keeps talking about how much she hates to see us."_

_Charlie looks down, shoulders drooping. "She has reasons to. Look at us, a group of jerks banded together for misery."_

_At this, Cher gets up, completely losing her patience. "I told you. What's between me and Eleanor is nothing! I made it clear to her in the first place that I can't date another girl. It's not my fault she's delusional! And I'm married now. Why can't you be happy for me?" She walks out of the room like John has._

_"You need to stop saying things like that, Charlie, especially when she's around." Perrie says, arms around herself. "But you're right. We're jerks."_

_After a moment of silence, Harry says determinedly, "Louis is here, too. Taylor and Harper said he's here. I'm gonna find him. And whatever that happened in the past, we'll sort it out. We will be together now."_

_"I'm sure you will, Harry." Perrie smiles at the boy, happy seeing him again in what she she calls 'Harry Redemptive Mode'. "This is a small world. You will find him soon enough."_

_A phone rings on the couch. Cher's phone. Charlie picks it up._

_"It's Josh. Should I answer it?"_

_"I see nothing wrong with that," Perrie says while Harry shrugs._

_Charlie presses Answer. "Josh. This is Charlie. I've got you on loudspeaker. Cher just went out for fresh air."_

_"Oh. S how's the place?" Josh says from the end of the line._

_"Pretty big. It's nice. I can see you and Cher having kids in here."_

_Josh laughs. "I'm sorry you had to help her move our things. I won't be back until Monday."_

_"It's fine. What are friends for?"_

_"Say, Niall e-mailed me last Wednesday. I haven't read it until now. He said he's in the capital, too."_

_Harry cheers. "Nice. We saw Taylor and Harper today, Josh. And Eleanor lives in this very same building. Louis is here, too... somewhere. And now Niall. Maybe we can arrange a little reunion."_

_"Eleanor is there? And also the rest? Why am I not surprised? Liam Payne is in the capital, too, you know."_

_Perrie perks up. "Liam is here? That's great news! I'll call Zayn right away. I'm sure he'll be very happy-"_

_"No! Don't tell Zayn! Not now."_

_"But why? Zayn had wanted to see Liam for an awfully long time."_

_"Perrie, Niall e-mailed me to ask if I would be his bestman at his wedding with-"_

_"Niall is getting married? Now Zayn really needs to come here immediately."_

_"Please let me finish. Niall Horan is getting married to Liam Payne."_

~~~

Those people, _Cher thinks angrily. Why do they always assume that just because a girl cried over her means she's a heartbreaker? Can't she be happy with her own fairy tale? She's happy with Josh, why can't they see that?_

_She's currently in the receiving area of the building, phone forgotten because of annoyance. The door opens and the doorman greets Eleanor Calder. Eleanor immediately sees her and quickly runs to the elevator. But Cher wouldn't let her get away. She needs to confront her and have a proper conclusion. She runs after her and slips inside the lift before it closes. Funnily enough, they are the only ones inside._

_"Hi," Cher starts. "How are you?"_

_"I'm fine." Eleanor won't look at her._

_"You're a model now, I see. I've seen you in magazines and billboards."_

_Eleanor blushes and looks at her shyly. "Really? What do you think?"_

_"You look gorgeous."_

_Eleanor smiles at her shyly. They reach their floor and step out of the lift. "How have you been, Cher?"_

_Cher can't help but smile. Because what happened to her, after waiting for Josh to realize his feelings for her, the long wait was worth it. "Why, you can call me Cher Devine now." She shows her her ring. "Just this May. It's been the simplest marriage rite ever but it's the most wonderful day of my life."_

_Eleanor's smile disappeared. "You're married?"_

_"Yes, and I wanted to talk to you because I know we didn't end well. I have to make sure you're okay and having a great life. Guilt and all that, you know?"_

_A tear fell from Eleanor's eye. "I haven't."_

_"You have to, okay?"_

_"Is it because I'm a girl?"_

_"No, it's not that. There's nothing wrong with you being a girl." Well, maybe that is a lie._

_"I still love you." Eleanor weeps. "All my efforts to forget you, abortive, fruitless. And I still love you."_

_"But I love Josh and he loves me, too. And I still won't be gay for you." Cher turns to head back to her room._

_"Do you remember the night when we kissed on a dare? Didn't you feel anything? I felt something. I liked it. What does that kiss mean to you?"_

_She's delusional, all right. "Honey, why would I put a meaning to a stupid dare?" she walks away._

~~~

That week Liam acted as if nothing happened. And Zayn acted as if no one voice mailed him. That week, they acted like how they did on the past months. Zayn cornering him and snogging him every chance he get. Zayn still sat beside him on Stat, and even gave a piece of advice to Eleanor who was really having a gender crisis: _Ask her first how does she feel about same-sex relationships_.

On Thursday afternoon, Liam and Zayn made out in an unused classroom just three doors down the faculty room. They did not get caught.

And everybody still has this thought that Liam was perfect for Zayn just because Zayn let him stick with him.

But Liam noticed the subtle changes. Zayn would spend more time with his phone, talk to someone in a damn sweet, sweet voice. On Tuesday, he heard Zayn say to that someone that he can't wait to see her again. If Liam would play ignorant and ask him who was he talking to, Zayn would just kiss him on his cheek and say, "No one." But Liam knew. He is not ignorant. He knew that it was that Perrie.

And the worst of all. When Niall kissed Liam's cheeks right in front of Zayn. Usually Zayn would glare at Niall if he had so much as approach Liam. He would drag him away from the Irish lad and kiss him senseless. But that time, nothing. When Niall skipped out of the room (happy that he had kissed him without a dangerous glare from his friend), Liam waited for Zayn's reaction. Nothing. His eyes were glued on his phone, texting that "No one."

Then Saturday came. He walked his way to Zayn's dormitory because it was Saturday and they always study together on Saturdays. Imagine his reaction when the guard of the dormitory informed him that Zayn Malik left early. The guard even shared that when he asked thim why was he so excited, he answered, "I've got a hot date."

Liam left silently, knees felt like giving in, head aching. This cannot be. Zayn does not date. He does not date. This must be a joke. Liam did not know what to do. _Calm down,_ he said to himself. He sat on a bench near the dorm and texted Zayn.

 _To: Zayn Malik Today: 10:05 am_ Where are you? Study sessions, remember? Exams are next week :)

After 30 minutes, when he received no reply, he hit Resend and did that again after another 30 minutes and another. He sat there for three hours, and got no message back.

Completely distraught, he went home to his flat and lied facedown in his bed. He wanted to blame this on Eleanor. If not for that stupid fucking party, none of this would never have happened.

He did not realize that he has fallen asleep until Louis shook him awake. He made a quick glance at his alarm clock. Wow, already four in the afternoon.

"Liam, have you been sleeping all day?" Louis whispered, concern evident on his face. Beside him, Harry stood looking at him with worry, too... and confusion.

Liam sat up. "I accidentally fell asleep."

"We thought you're with Zayn," Louis spoke again.

Remembering what happened that morning, Liam quickly fished his phone from his pocket. What the actual fuck. Still no message. Frustrated, Liam threw the phone into his drawers.

"What's the matter?" Louis asked. "Why aren't you with Zayn? Where is he?"

"I thought when he said he's got a date, I thought he meant it with you," Harry murmured.

"What?" Louis looked at his boyfriend, confused. "What did you say?"

"Last night, Zayn said he will meet someone today for a date. I quickly assumed he meant Liam since I thought it's about time you go on a date. So I did not push anymore. I didn't think he meant someone else."

Both Louis and Harry stared at Liam with a look that says _Tell us what's going on._

"I don't know," was all Liam got to say.

Louis sighed while Harry put a hand on Liam's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll talk to Zayn about this."

"You don't have to. I don't mind."

"I have to. He needs to stop being a jerk. You don't deserve this, Liam."

And maybe Harry was just doing that for Louis. But Liam thanked him with an exhausted smile. Harry nodded and went out of the room with Louis, hands linked together.

Liam was starting to feel the beginning of his downfall.

~~~

Zayn finally gave him a call just as he sitting in front of the television with Harry and Louis watching _Modern Family_ , about to eat their Chinese takeouts.

Liam flee inside his room and answered his phone. "Zayn?" he called.

Zayn chuckled at the other end of the line. "Liam. I am very sorry. I totally forgot about today. Please forgive me."

"It's okay. How's your date?"

"My what?" Zayn paused for quite an amount of time. When he spoke again, his tone had changed, too composed. "How did you know about that?"

"Oh, is that supposed to be a secret? The guard at your dorm told me. Is she really hot? Who is this lucky girl? Your first date ever. I remember you don't date, right?" Liam blabbered.

Zayn stayed quiet.

"Zayn? Are you still there?"

"Yes. Listen. I don't really want to talk about it today. You can go here tomorrow to study with me. You're free tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll be-"

Harry, suddenly appearing in his room, snatched the phone from him. "Zayn, this is Harry. I need to talk to you about something very important when I get home." Then he shove the phone back into his hands and returned to the living area. When Liam put the phone back to his ear, the line was dead.

He quickly followed Harry back to the living area. "What was that about?" Liam asked, beginning to get annoyed.

"I need to tell him off about his behavior, Li. It's not nice to ditch you just because he has a date, a date which by the way he didn't tell anything about. Who did he meet anyway?" Harry said, not even looking at him but at the telly.

"But it's okay. I've forgiven him. He said he forgot."

"You actually bought that? My God, Liam. You've been doing this studying together every Saturday for the three goddamn months. He did not forget it."

"Louis?" Liam looked at his bestfriend for help.

"Sorry, Li. I'm with Harry here. Zayn is clearly taking you for granted. And I wouldn't allow that shitty behavior done to you."

"But..."

"But what?" Louis asked. "Tell us, what are you afraid of?"

"What if I have no right to ask him about it? We are not a couple."

"You are perfect for Zayn," Harry said patiently. "He needs to see that."

"What if I'm not? You keep telling me that crap but what if I'm not? And what if I should be contented with the attention he is giving me? Now what if if he gets angry with me because of what you've done? He'll think that I have no right. No right!"

Louis and Harry fell silent about his outburst. Then, very slowly, Harry asked him, "Liam, tell me, just what do you feel about Zayn?"

"I... I love him," Liam admitted.

"And what do you do if you love someone?" 

"Let him go?"

"No, dimwit." But Harry was smiling whole-heartedly. "You fight for him. And give a good fight. He gave you reasons to fall for him now he must give you a chance to fight for his love. Otherwise he will just be another douchebag. Do you understand? Now get your ass in here! Dr. Who is about to start."

Liam did not argue anymore and hoped for what was the best, because hope has always been a beautiful thing and surely would not disappoint.

~~~

Their first misunderstanding came the next day when Liam was sitting with Zayn in his room. When Liam was attempting to lighten the mood, acting like it's all normal and making dry jokes about the exams, Zayn was clearly pissed off about something, giving forced laughs and couldn't really concentrate on studying.

Finally, Liam did not take it any longer. He dropped his books and clasped Zayn's hands. "Zayn, can you tell me what's going on?"

Zayn looked at the hands holding his, then at Liam, anger becoming evident. "What. Did you tell. Harry?"

Liam withdrew his hands as if scalded. He was confused and terrified. "I... I didn't tell him anything."

Zayn snorted a laugh. "He chewed me off last night for being a 'dick' to you."

"I am really sorry."

"You do realize that my life does not revolve around you, right?"

That was harsh, but, "Yes," Liam replied, his head getting heavy.

"Then why do you meddle with my affairs? What is it to you if I have a date, huh? Tell me."

"Nothing, Zayn. I swear I didn't know what's gotten into Harry when he talked to you last night but I already told him not to. I told him that you said sorry and I accepted you're apology. I promise, believe me." Liam said and cursed himself because he could not handle an angry Zayn.

And said boy didn't look convinced. "We are NOT a thing, Liam. You are overstaying in my life. In fact, I am tired of putting up with you."

Liam's mind exploded, his chest went heavy and suddenly it was harder to breathe. He stared at Zayn blankly before standing up and headed towards the door.

Zayn suddenly realized what he had done and called out. "Shit, Liam, come back here. We are not done talking."

But Liam did not, could not, hear. He was walking towards the stairs, forcing his shaking legs to coordinate with him just this once. When he heard footsteps behind him, he ran, not daring to look who it was.

"Fuck, Liam, I said let us talk this out!"

Liam kept on running until he reached the stairs, until he was out of the dormitory, until he didn't know where he was running to. What? More talk? What about? To explain? Liam wanted to laugh at that thought. Why would Zayn explain? What Liam heard earlier was more than enough. Well, at least he finally knew what Zayn felt for him. Unluckily for him, it was far from what he expected. He had not really known what goes in Zayn's head _ab initio_. He ran and ran, and when he's sure that no one's following him, he stopped and realized he was at a children's playground near the university. Exhausted, he sat on a swing and tried to think. He could not think, mind opted to blankness. He could not cry, mind too empty to even cry, His phone buzzed three times, all calls from Zayn. He ignored it all three times. Fuck, he left his books in Zayn's place. Maybe he could ask Harry or Niall to get those for him. And now he felt so pathetic. Never in his life had he ever felt so pathetic.

"Payno?"

Liam looked up and saw Niall and the petite brunette from Danielle's party.

"What are ye doing here?" Niall asked.

Liam couldn't find a voice to answer, so he did not. He just stared at Niall.

Niall frowned in concern and was about to sit with him when the girl pulled him back. "We are going to my place, remember?" she whined.

Niall shove her gently. "This won't take a minute."

The girl hesitantly nodded and stood in a corner while Niall sat on the swing beside Liam. "Damn," Niall sighed. "She's too clingy."

"What's wrong with being clingy?" Liam said, finally finding his voice. "With making sure that they feel the same way about you, that they are not just fucking with you."

Niall was looking at him now. "What is this about? Is this about Zayn?"

Liam croaked. "That you dared to be a shadow every one associates with him to prove your love."

"Tell me what happened."

"Nothing of importance," Liam tried to laugh. "Just found out what am I to him. An over-staying someone he's tired of being with."

Niall caught his breath. "He did not say that."

"Apparently he did."

"I'll talk to him."

"Goddammit, stop it! You, Harry, and Louis. You three makes it worse. I was contented with what Zayn is giving me but you just had to ruin it don't you? You gave me false hopes, told me we're good together, expected me to change him for the better when I can't. You meddle with things and you don't even understand. If Zayn wants me to go, I will go."

"But what if you wanted to stay?"

Liam bursted in tears in frustration. "Stop it, please."

Niall jumped up from his seat and hugged Liam tight. "Shhh... I'm sorry, Li. I'm sorry," he whispered to his ear while continually rubbing his back gently.

"It's ruined... it's ruined..." he cried.

"Shhh... everything will be okay."

They stayed like that for a moment. tears kept falling from Liam's eyes and he could not help it. Niall, for his part, embraced him tighter and whispered things he wished would make Liam feel better. The girl with Niall, seeing that it would take much longer than "a minute", grew impatient with waiting, and walked away. She thought about asking a friend to accompany her to a dance club and find a nice bloke to fill her time.

When Liam finally calmed down, Niall kissed his temple. "That's it, Li. Everything will be fine." Liam just closed his eyes and prayed to no one if he could turn back time; before he opened Perrie's voice mail or maybe before he agreed to attend Danielle's party.

"You know what, let's get drunk." Niall said after a while, grinning. "There's a pub not far from here."

"I don't drink, Ni."

"Come one, just this once." Niall smiled again. He stood up and held out a hand. "Go with me."

Liam looked at the hand stupidly for a moment before taking it. "Okay."

They did not even notice the girl's departure.

~~~

The pub, located at the near end of the campus, was almost full of people. But thankfully Liam and Niall found a table just beside the entrance. There was a stage near the counter and some students went up there for fun to sing a song or two.

Niall ordered two pinches of beer. Upstage, a girl was singing about a boy who has forgotten their love.

_"Something just went wrong,_

_We were once so strong,_

_Our love is like a song;_

_You've forgotten about us."_

The drinks came and the two drank in comfortable silence. Niall, attempting to make Liam laugh, made a joke about his sleepy professor in Chemistry who accidentally set a sink on fire after a wrong computation of chemicals. Liam did not disappoint and laughed at that. Niall was looking pleased that his efforts have not been in vain. He was about to tell more of his funny stories when his phone rang and he had to excuse himself to answer it outside the pub.

Silent again, Liam looked around. He was amused to find Eleanor there, sharing a table with Cher, looking like they were enjoying their time.

After a while, Niall came back seemingly forlorn. "Li, I just have to get something... back to my dorm. Wait for me, okay? Say yes, it won't take long."

"Okay," Liam said.

When Niall left, Liam cursed himself for forgetting to tell him to get his books from Zayn'r room. He finished his drink and just contented himself watching students singing on stage. Taylor Swift was climbing next with a guitar.

"Hi," she started awkwardly. "What I am about to sing is one of my compositions. So please be kind." A few laughter echoed in the room. "This is for a boy who thought I'm the only one in his life."

_"Say you're sorry_

_That face of an angel_

_Comes out just when you need it to."_

"Liam."

Liam looked up and his heart stopped beating for a second. "Zayn?"

Zayn was breathing hard, probably from running. He took Niall's seat and gave Liam a hard stare. 'Why the fuck did you run away? What the hell's wrong with you? We were not done talking."

"How did you know I'm here?" Liam asked.

"It's not important!" Zayn snapped which made Liam flinched.

"Why not?" Liam said after a while, looking down.

"What do you mean 'why not'?"

"Why won't I run away? It's clear you don't want me there anymore." He paused. "But it's fine. I am not angry. It's fine. I-it's okay if you want to leave me now. Honestly, you don't have to let me stick with you. I'm also getting tired of people saying I'm perfect for you either. They're becoming really annoying, really. And... and to be honest I don't really think you need me to tutor you in Biology. You are a really smart student. And I think I can handle myself now in Stat. You've been a great teacher. And only three weeks before the semester ends. I think I can do it. So, yeah, you can drop me now. It's okay, if that's what you want." Liam's voice broke and he paused again. "I can't afford thinking that you can hate me because I'm sticking with you, because I'm in your way. I'm your friend, Zayn. But if you don't want to be friends with me anymore, it's okay. Just don't be angry at me, please. Because I can't..." he was crying and he did not get to finish what he was saying. He rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. When Liam looked at Zayn again, the other boy's features had softened.

"Liam. I didn't mean what I said earlier."

_"Maybe I was naïve,_

_Got lost in your eyes_

_And never really had a chance_

_My mistake, I didn't know to be in love_

_You had to fight to have the upper hand"_

"Liam, you know that I like you, right?"

"Yeah," Liam nodded, smiling sadly. "You've told me plenty of times."

Zayn grabbed Liam's face and kissed him on the lips. Liam kissed back. This could be the last time, he thought, so might as well dwell on it. Memorize the taste and the feeling for Zayn will kiss another soon.

Zayn's phone beeped and he drew back. He stared at the new message with a smile forming on his face. And Liam immediately knew that it was Perrie. "Liam, I have to go."

Liam quickly nodded. "Goodbye, Zayn."

Zayn shook his head. "This is not our goodbye, Li."

_"Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,_

_I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well_

_This is a big world, that was a small town_

_There in my rear view mirror disappearing now_

_And it's too late for you and your white horse_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now"_

For the next couple of minutes, Liam just sat there figuring out what Zayn had said. No, they are not done. Liam did not know if he should be happy or not, to hope or not. When haply he looked out of the window, he saw Niall standing outside, also looking at him. It occurred to Liam that Niall lied. He had not really left and was just outside the whole time, watching them, him.

After that Niall walked Liam home to his flat. Harry and Louis were gone again, probably to one of their little adventures together. Liam asked Niall to retrieve his books for him and promised him he could sleep in the flat and watch Spongebob with him. Niall agreed, though hesitantly. But later on, Liam received this message.

 _From: Nialler Today: 8:43 pm_ Zayn just came back. I'm sorry Liam. Zayn wants you to get your things yourself. I'm really sorry.

For the umpteenth time that day, Liam cursed.

~~~

Niall ran to him when he arrived at the dormitory. "I'm terribly, terribly sorry. I tried to persuade him but he would not hear of it," the Irish boy said.

Liam assured him, "It's fine, Niall. Here's the key to the flat. You can go there now. I'll come later."

"Can't we go together? I'll wait for you."

"I have a feeling this will take long. I promise, I'll come home later tonight."

"But you will come home later, right?"

"Yes."

Niall nodded, then, on Liam's surprised, he stood on his toes and peck Liam's lips. "For good luck," he said, then ran away before Liam could recover from the shock.

Zayn'r room was unlock. It was dimly lit when Liam entered. Zayn was not there. _So much the better_ , Liam thought. He could get away easily than expected. He spotted his books or Zayn's study table and quickly made grab for it.

The door slammed shut behind him. Zayn stood there in sweatpants and white t-shirt, blocking the door. "I just took a shower," he said, throwing the towel he was holding to a bin.

Liam nodded his head nervously. "Okay. I just came to get my things."

Zayn slowly walked towards him. "Leaving too early?"

"Zayn, please. What more do you want?" Liam pleaded when cornered him on the table and made him drop his books again.

"You."

"You're giving me mixed-signals here. I bed you to stop it."

"Don't think, Lee-yum. Don't think," he said before searing his lips with a kiss. He quickly deepened the kiss when Liam tensed on his position. His hands traveled to the front of Liam's pants. Liam realized he had no choice but to comply. At times he would kiss back but for the rest, he surrendered himself to Zayn and let him do what he wanted. What, the first time Zayn touched him was exactly a week ago. Oh, what a difference a week could make!

After the sex, Liam was lying on Zayn's bed with him, fully spent. Zayn's arms were thrown around him from behind. He was happy, Liam could tell.

"Lee-yum," he sighed into his ear.

If Liam felt his head grow light, and his chest heavy with delight, and the butterflies in his stomach reminding him, _You're in love! Deeply in love with Zayn!_ , he didn't bother, because sorrow was starting to grow in his heart. "Yes, Zayn?" he asked.

The beautiful boy tightened his embrace. "Don't ever walk out on me again. Promise me that, Liam. Promise."

"I promise."

"And about earlier, please forgive me. I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I'm sorry I said those mean things."

"Apology accepted, Zayn. I'm sorry too, about Harry."

Zayn kissed his cheeks multiple times. "Don't let us talk about them, Li."

Liam choked a tear. "Can I at least know how you feel about her?"

"Li..."

"Please. Don't I deserve that? We are friends, aren't we?"

Zayn softly sighed. "She's... beautiful. Perrie's beautiful."

"Perrie... even her name sounds nice."

"Yes, Li," he nuzzled his nose behind Liam's ear. "Something about her that tells me I might fall in love with her."

Liam closed his eyes. "She's very lucky. The infamous Zayn Malik, finally falling in love."

Zayn giggled. "Maybe I am falling in love. 'Tis true, love feels nice. Every time I am reminded of her, there are like butterflies fluttering inside my stomach. Have you felt that before?"

Liam did not answer.

"Oh, by the way. We will have an art exhibit on the last of semester. I want you to come."

"Exhibit? How nice. I wonder how you do well in your arts."

"You have to come and see."

"Will Perrie be there? I would love to meet the girl that tamed your heart."

"I will meet with Perrie this Tuesday. I'll tag you along if you want."

"I'd like that."

"Excellent."

Liam slipped from his embrace when he was sure that Zayn has fallen asleep moments later. He got dressed, picked up his things, the only reasons he was there to begin with, and padded home with an empty mind and an equally empty heart. He was amazed to find Niall waiting for him by the door of the flat. When Niall saw him, his face broke into a smile, a smile Liam knew he couldn't make because he's just too bitter in life and too exhausted. Harry and Louis were asleep on the couch, bodies tangled. Late night news was on TV.

He resigned to his bed. Niall followed him silently. Liam stared at the boy blankly before motioning him to lie beside him in his bed. The Irish boy obliged willingly and cuddled him, saying nothing. The silence was comforting. When Liam woke up the next morning Niall was gone.

~~~

Perrie Edwards turned out to be a likeable person, which made the situation more difficult. You see Liam had wanted to hate her originally, but she was nice and very lovely and compliments Zayn really well. Liam could not even have ill-thoughts of such person.

They look good together, Liam surmised, as Perrie and Zayn tell him about how they met at Danielle's party.

"So I heard about this thing about you two," Perrie pointed a finger at Liam and Zayn. The three were in the back of the library building, met there after class. "I heard that Liam is your boyfriend, Zaynie."

"Ugh," Zayn groaned. "You know people likes to talk and make rumors about things. Right, Li?"

"Right. People can be childish at times."

Liam felt left out. When Perrie and Zayn talk to each other, they are lost to their own world, forgetting that other people exist. When they look at each other, Liam readily spotted the dreaded and wonderful thing: love. It was clear that they are in love. She makes him laugh, and it came too easy to him. It hurt Liam so much. He was g;ad to go when the meeting ended.

He did not meet with Zayn the next Saturday. But he passed all his exams when they came, including Statistics. He did not mind.

The week that followed Zayn stumbled upon him two times and fucked him two times. He called Liam the greatest friend he ever met since Harry. Liam did not mind.Harry was angry with him for "letting that girl get Zayn that easy," not even giving a proper fight. Louis would second Harry and tell him, "This is not time to selfless, Liam. Would it kill you to tell Zayn you love him and what's he doing hurts you?" He did not mind.

Niall was on Harry and Louis' side. "You're perfect for him, Liam, really. He likes you, too. He told us on that day in the cafeteria." Liam did not take heed.

Everybody noticed that Zayn and Liam did not kiss too often unlike before, those two PDAers. Zayn was being seen with a pretty lady from another university while Liam was always spending his times in the library. They were dismayed, disappointed. They really thought that Liam would be Zayn's downfall. Little did they know that it was the other way around.

Then, hope came for Liam James Payne.

The Friday night of the exhibit of the arts student came. That was the last day of the semester and most of the students were going home for the holidays. Albeit there were still a good amount of students who stayed for the exhibit, finding a nice piece of art they would be willing to bid for at the auction that would take place later.

Liam, Louis, Harry and Niall were there, looking around at the paintings. Some they could appreciate and be amazed at, some they could not even understand.

"How is a dot even considered a painting?" Niall asked aloud, earning glares from the painters. "Just asking," he shrugged.

Harry and Louis had other things in their minds, though. They were picking on Liam. "You haven't even told him you love him. Have you told him how you really feel?"

"No, Harry. Why would I?"

"What 'why would I'?" Harry shot back. "What if he is just waiting for you to say something?"

"Harry, that would be completely impossible. I've seen how Zayn and Perrie interact. They are in love."

"You don't know that," Louis said."

"I just said I saw it."

"And you won't do anything about it?" the Doncaster boy asked. "How about your feelings, Li? At least tell him how you feel, and not act like a little girl every time you see him with her. You are crying night after night. I can hear you."

"And Zayn can't be in love with someone he just knows for two weeks. How long does he know you? Three months, four?" Harry added.

"Liam, I'm your friend. We are your friends. I just don't want to see you crash and burn. Zayn is a complete ass-hat but you love that prick so-"

"Lou, Zayn is still my bestfriend."

"Oh, sorry , Haz. Go on, babe."

"Liam, as the Devil's Advocate, I am telling you, he is just confused. What if Zayn is in love with you but he is not ready yet, being a womanizer for an awfully long time. But you, Liam, is so innocent and pure and Zayn is afraid to taint that with his love. He got scared. So when Perrie came, he passed that love onto her, thinking that-"

Liam snorted a laugh. "That's too ridiculous, Harry. I think that's too far off. Besides, I don't see how telling him how I feel would change anything."

"Well maybe you should reconsider that," Niall joined in. He had been quiet for a while, just listening to their conversation. He pointed to a painting, one of Zayn's works, and was the centerpiece of it all. The painting was of Liam.

Entitled "In My Sweet Slumber", it showed Liam in profile sleeping peacefully on a bed, with a hint of pure happiness on his face. Only his upper body was shown and an arm was drooped around him (Zayn's arm, if the tattoos were an indication). The whole picture was colored in gold, brown and orange. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Liam could not believe his eyes. And Zayn painted it.

Harry nudged his shoulder. "Well I think this is a sign. Go find him, Li. Tell him."

Liam glanced at his friends. "Thank you." Then he turned to his heels and searched for Zayn through the crowd. Not a sight. He approached one of his professors, who told him after that Zayn went home early as he did not feel well. So Liam left the area and ran to his dormitory, up the stairs, to his room that was always unlocked.

And no sooner did his hope shattered, no sooner did his heart break, did he felt such contempt.

There was Zayn Malik, beautiful Zayn Malik, kissing the living daylights out of Perrie Edwards. It was like the time he saw Zayn and Cher kissing, but this time with lesser clothes and in Zayn's bed.

With luck, Liam managed to hide behind the door before the couple in bed could see him (later, Liam would think if it would be better if they see him see them in their act of sin).

Liam was confused and angry and hurt all at the same time. And he could not think of anything besides a question: _Why are they doing this? to me?_

Liam's mind went blank. All his strength vanished like air. His knees felt weak and he started to tremble.

Then he heard Zayn and Perrie giggle on the other side of the door. For one moment of relief he thought this was all a prank. But then he heard them talking, whispering sweet nothings, before a moan came out of the sinful woman's lips.

"That's it, love. Give it all to me," Zayn said, voice soft and raspy.

Perrie laughed. "Is that what you say to the other girls you fuck?"

"No need to waste pretty words. They are all just easy fucks."

"And, what's his name, that boy who always follows you around?"

"Liam? He's just a casual fuck."

Liam felt his grow bug in realization and anguish. Tottered, shoulders drooped in sadness, he held his head in his hands in self-pity. He wanted to punch something, someone. He wanted to cry, and if Zayn would hear, maybe he would go out and see him and apologize for this betrayal and embrace him tightly, and they would forget all this ever happened and they would stay together.

He wanted to just barge in and cast an accusing finger at both of them. Pull that woman's hair, throw things at the boy (the beautiful boy), say all mean things he can think of, say that Zayn and he are over. But then, did they ever happen in the first place? And would Zayn even care?

 _Just a casual fuck_. Four words that became a chant in his head, a chant that broke when he heard them talking again.

"I love you." "I love you, too."

Liam searched in his mind if Zayn had ever said those words to him, but he came up with nothing. "I think you're cute." "You're adorable, Liam." "I like you." Yes, like. Always like. Not love. Never love.

He could not take it anymore. He ran away.

END OF CHAPTER FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title came from Regina Spektor's "Samson"  
> ...Songs used: Demi Lovato's "Don't Forget" and Taylor Swift's "White Horse"


	5. And If I Like Rejection, I'd Audition

_Harper Richards sees Charlie Hayes and Harry Styles in the bookstore that Monday and runs for dear life, needing a breathing space. Worst Monday ever. And worse, they catch her and block any way for escape._

_"What. Do you want?" Harper says, wishing that panic is not obvious in her voice._

_Harry answers. "Is it true? Liam is marrying Niall?"_

_The girl raises an eyebrow. "Yes. So what?"_

_The two boys shook their heads in resign. Harry speaks again. "When? And why didn't that leprechaun tell us?"_

_"Why would he?" Harper says defiantly. "You're not friends anymore. They are getting married this December and you can't do nothing to stop it. But to make you feel better, I think hey intend to invite you. Heads up."_

_"This is not happening," Harry murmurs. "Just as when Zayn realizes he needs Liam."_

_Harper laughs sardonically at that. "What? To be his fuck buddy again? I'm sure Liam will pass. I will tell you this much. Niall just spent his weekend with Liam's family. And I've been told that they adore him."_

_"Harper..." Charlie whispers, first time he speaks._

_"Now, if you'll excuse me, I will go." She turns left but Charlie blocks that way. She groans. "What more?"_

_"Talk to me," Charlie says._

_"Why? And how the heck did you know I will be in this bookstore?"_

_"Oh, it's stupid actually." Charlie shrugs. "I figured after all this time you still love to visit bookstores, so we methodized ways to get access to every one. This is the first one we went into actually. First day, too. What luck."_

_"You're stupid. Get out of my way!"_

_"Come on, Harper. It's been three years. Don't you remember? I asked you to be my girlfriend but you suddenly kicked me in the balls. After a week you ignored me completely. You unfriended me on Facebook and changed your number. You left me lost. These three years I'm in misery because I don't know what I did wrong. But right now I'm sorry... for whatever you got mad at me for."_

_Harper gasps unbelievably. "You sorry, forgetful wanker. You proposed, right, then you kissed me without my permission then groped me that's why I kicked you in the balls." Harry whistles, looking like he's having fun being in at the kill. "But I genuinely like you, I do, so I gave it a week to think. But what did I see after when I'm in the train station? You, getting intimate with a woman."_

_Charlie frowns. "What woman?"_

_"Oh, now you're denying it by pretending you forgot. Nice work, asshole. You had your arms around each other's waist."_

_"You already call that intimate?" Harry asks._

_"Shut up."_

_"Wait," Charlie appears to be thinking. "One week after I proposed... at the train station." He pulls his wallet from his back pocket and shows her a picture. "Is this she?"_

_"Yes," Harper shrugs coolly. "Wow, you even keep a picture of her."_

_Charlie glances at Harry, who's now laughing hysterically, before bursting into laughter himself. "Harper! Harper, this is my mother!"_

_"You're getting intimate with you mother? Ew."_

_"You're quick to jealousy," Charlie laughs. "Honestly, I should be the angry one. You're pining me on my mother."_

_Harper reddens. "T-then why does she look so young? I think you're lying."_

_"She had me when she was still a teenager. I guess I have not told you about that. Well, that time... I'm quite ashamed of that fact. And maybe we are "intimate" because she likes to baby me."_

_"Plus, he is a bit of a mama's boy," Harry adds._

_"She doesn't need to know that, Harry."_

_Harper is completely flustered, total red in the face. "You mean, all these years... wasted? Then why didn't you tell me?"_

_"How? Like I said you left me lost. You just ignored me and I never knew what I did wrong. How could I tell you then, huh?"_

_Harper looks at the ground in embarrassment. "Then, I'm sorry for... everything, I guess."_

_"It's okay. You're always forgiven."_

_They stare at each other, long moment, unable to believe what just happened, thinking what could have happened if they did not do this or that. If only they were open to each other. All these years ridiculously wasted, not even worth it. Harper doesn't even know whether to laugh or cry at her own stupidity._

_"We can't still be together," Harper says while still looking directly at Charlie._

_"What? Why not?" Charlie asks, horrified. "You said you like me. You still like me, right?"_

_"Yes. I do like you still, believe it or not. I can't believe it, either, but I really, really like you. However going out with you means betraying my friends. What would my friend think?"_

_"Your friends? Wait, who are your friends?"_

_"Them. Eleanor, Louis, Taylor, Liam, Niall... Ed. Those are my friends."_

_"Oh, I see how it goes. I see it." Harry says while it takes a while for Charlie ti understand the situation._

_"Holy shit, I see it now, too," Charlie finally says. "But what do they care? I mean, if you have forgiven me then they should not have a say about it. And who know, maybe like us, what happened to the other is also a big misunderstanding."_

_Harper grimaces. "With Taylor and John? Eleanor and Cher? I don't think so..."_

_"What about Louis?" Harry speaks up with a straight face._

_"Still not telling you."_

_"Harp, tell him. He's ever been so lonely ever since college ended."_

_"His problem. not mne. He could have chosen Louis but instead he sided with Malik."_

_"Dammit!" Harry bursts out, clearly upset. "What could have I done? Everybody hated Zayn for being a jerk to Liam that time. They hated him. I could not leave him alone. I have to be by his side. I'm his bestfriend. Isn't that a plausible explanation why I did that? I do not regret what I've done but I still want to make it up to Louis. Please. At least tell me how is he. Can you do that? Please."_

_Harper looks at him. Then said girl bites her lip, her resolve weakening. Geez, why must she be so kind to assholes? Well maybe this must be her way to pay for her incredible stupidity on her and Charlie's case. "All right, Styles, you prat. Louis is... he is a high school drama teacher. he has just broken up with his third girlfriend this and ..." what more? "...and he is a proper git. You know what, ask him yourself. Taylor and Ed has a gig tonight at the pub near the art museum. Louis would be there. All of us actually would be there. Just don't tell my friends that I told you."_

_Harry smiles at her, like he's about to cry. "Thank you. Thank you so much." He reaches to embrace her but Harper dodges him._

_"Please, no hugging. We're still not friends."_

_The tall boy keeps his hands. "Okay."_

_"We will be there at nine o' clock." Harper informs them. "And if you intend on bringing Cher, don't. Eleanor is still pissed about her marriage with Devine."_

_Charlie puts an arm around her shoulder. "Zayn will arrive at eight tonight. We'll bring him, so he can see Liam."_

_Harper flicks her nose. "Well, I think you can but isn't he with Perrie?"_

_"No." Harry shakes his head. "They've broken up a year ago. Zayn loves Liam."_

_"Somehow I don't believe that. However, Zayn must not destroy anything. He will not destroy Liam and Niall's relationship, or break their engagement, or whatever. Understand? I forbid you yo bring him."_

_"We'll see." Harry says. he turns towards the exit. "I'll leave you two lovebirds now. Thanks again Harper. I will never forget this."_

_"I have a feeling I will regret this," Harper mutters under her breath._

_"So, up to see a movie?" Charlie asks._

_"Fine by me." Harper smiles at him. "Hayes, if that is your hand on my butt I will kick your balls again and not feel sorry this time."_

~~~

Christmas and New Year came and went. And Liam was back to his flat in the university. His last semester.

He was alone in the flat, unpacking his baggage. Louis called and said he would be home by eight in the evening. The clock on the wall said it was five in the afternoon. And Liam felt so alone. He had tried to forget Zayn over the break but of course it did not work.

It was all over Facebook. Zayn Malik and Perrie Edwards were in a relationship. When Liam saw it, he was not even surprised. The words 'just a casual fuck' kept ringing in his head. And Zayn did day that he loves Perrie. Liam heard them.

 _Well Zayn can go fuck himself,_ Liam thought angrily and threw a book in the air. _What was that painting about? So he can give me another false hope and get in my pants again? What the fuck. He just uses me for his sex life. That pompous, stuck-up asshole._

And yet he couldn't hate Zayn. Because he loves him, so much it was hurting.

Maybe this semester he could focus on anything else. Just a thesis and few seminars before he graduate and bye-bye college.

Niall came to his flat just after he unpacked all his things. No, Liam did not want to see Niall nor Harry. Because they're friends with Zayn. And anything or anyone associated with Zayn was a sore to Liam's eyes. he wanted Louis. Louis is his friend and Liam knew he will always be by his side.

Niall brought sandwiches and asked about Liam's vacation while they were eating in the kitchen. Liam's replies were short and possibly no interest in what Niall was talking about.

The shorter boy noticed Liam's disinterest. He held Liam's shoulder. "Hey. I saw it on Facebook. Zayn and Perrie."

"I don't want to talk about it," Liam said, too sharply that made Niall wince.

"Liam, are you okay?"

"Please, just leave!" Liam screamed before storming out of the kitchen into his room. He knew yelling at Niall was wrong, completely irrational, but he did not want to think about it just yet. He heard the door opened and closed, suggesting that Niall had left. But Liam did not care. He would think about that later. He wished for Louis' arrival now more than ever. He was sure Louis would understand and not need an explanation. He would comfort Liam, albeit that young fool claims he doesn't know how to comfort people. At least Louis would try. Louis... Louis.

A little past eight Louis arrived. Liam ran to the door to greet his best friend, but he was blessed with a far too lovely sight.

It should have been obvious that Louis would take Harry with him, and there they were, the couple in love, kissing and giggling as if there is no tomorrow. It made Liam's blood coil in anger and jealousy.

"I'm here, Li!" Louis exclaimed, after finally noticing that Liam was there. "Don't I get a hug?" But he would not let go of Harry's hand.

"Welcome home." Liam said stoically, staying in his place.

Louis frowned. He turned back to his boyfriend, smiling again.

"Liam," Harry started. "I'm sure Zayn-" 

I'll be on my room." Liam walked away, unwilling to listen to Harry's attempt to defend Zayn Malik. And as he tried to sleep that night, with Harry and Louis making love in the other room and five unread messages from Niall, Liam thought angrily. "Why did I let them enter our lives? They did nothing but jeopardize it. Why did I do that?"

~~~

Liam faced Zayn unpremeditatedly a week after the start of classes. No classes together now, Liam had hoped to b\never see Zayn again, and get rid of all the pitiful looks people were giving him. (People knew and they talked.) But Liam did see Zayn in the library, when he was browsing for possible thesis topics. He was turning to a corner when he bumped into the still beautiful boy whom he loves very much.

"Hi," Zayn smiled at him (It's instinctual, Liam noted).

And Liam still noted the butterflies in his stomach and the giddy sensation just by looking at the boy in front of him. "Hello."

"Say, I've missed you during vacation. How have you been? Had a good holiday?"

"It was good." Liam wanted out of the room. "Yourself?"

"Oh, the best. I spent the holidays with Perrie's Family. Had a blast."

"That was awesome." Liam answered curtly, heart aching when he mentioned that girl's name.

Zayn looked at him, growing concern in his face. "Are you okay, Li? You look like you're going to be sick." He was about to touch Liam's forehead, but Liam stepped back. "Li? What's wrong?"

They heard murmurs from around them. They looked about and saw the few students inside the library were watching them. Liam could see that pitying looks directed at him and angry glances at Zayn. And no, Liam did not want anyone's pity.

"This is weird," Zayn muttered. 'Why are they looking at us?"

Liam shrugged. "No idea. Hey, I've to go. Thesis." But Zayn pulled his arm.

"You never mentioned anything about the art exhibit." Zayn smiled hopefully. "How did you like it? Harry said you were to talk to me but next thing I knew you were on your way to Wolverhampton."

 _Just a casual fuck._ Liam managed to smile. "You're talented, I might say. Great artworks."

"And my painting of you?"

"Wonderful. You made me look... happy."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I really got to go now."

"Liam, please. We won't be seeing lots of each other now. Can we just go out today? The tow of us, yeah?"

"But-"

"Please? Lee-yum."

Liam sighed long-sufferingly and acceded. "All right."

And that was when Liam found himself on that same amusement park that day with Zayn against his better judgment. That same amusement park, what, five months ago? Full of pleasant memories that Liam would treasure in his heart where the memories of love and sadness also resides.

Pretending to have fun is hard, especially when you're with the person you love that hurts you, Liam decided. Zayn led him to the Ferris wheel, the very same Ferris wheel they rode back then and where the Bradford boy told him he wanted to get to know more about Liam in class, the ride where Liam decided that hope is a beautiful thing.

When the ride began, the beautiful boy leaned into his ear and whispered, "Do you remember the first time we rode this thing?"

Liam turned to Zayn who was smiling like the sun. He swallowed before answering. "That was just what I'm thinking."

Zayn leaned closer. It was obvious that he was going to kiss him.

"Don't." Liam muttered that made Zayn stop.

"Li?"

"You don't have to kiss me anymore or touch me to make me feel better. Why don't you just get rid of me? I would get rid of me."

"Liam?"

"Does Perrie know about us?" He barked a laugh when he said that. "Of course she knows. You told her. Just a casual fuck. that's what you told her, right? She laughed at that, too?"

The beautiful boy was bewildered and speechless. "When did you hear me say that?"

Liam's tears started to fall. "Zayn. If you don't love me, just tell me. you should not get my hopes up, or give me mixed signals. You have no right to hurt me, too. Because you know, right? You know that I love you."

Zayn looked at him sadly.

"I am in love with you, Zayn Malik. So much it makes me sorry."

"I though you would be contented," Zayn finally said. "If I still keep you and let you by my side. I thought you will not demand anything more."

"I thought I'd be contented, too."

"There's Perrie. And I love her, Liam."

Liam bit his lip. "I know. I've seen it. I just have to tell my feelings, get it out of my chest. So that I would have no regrets."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We can still be friends, right?"

Zayn shook his head. "No, Liam. Not anymore. After this confession, we can't."

"Right, that's fine. That would work best for us. I got it."

The ride ended shortly afterwards. The two boys separated paths without even looking at each other. The night was dark. No stars. When Liam got home, he spent the rest of the night crying and did not sleep. He really hates the feeling of abandonment.

~~~

Harry did not take that news very well. He constantly nagged Liam to apologize to Zayn and ask the boy to be friends again. "Because you belong with Zayn. Perrie is just temporary. Why did you give up?" Thankfully Louis was on Liam's side. He would say that it was for the greater good, that Liam did the right thing. "Because no prick should hurt you like that." Harry would pick up from there and defend Zayn. Zayn is his best mate and he could not bear the looks of knowing students they're giving Zayn. "Zayn? Yes, that one who broke the heart of that nice boy who stick with him the longest."

Lately, Harry and Louis were fighting over them. And Liam did not want them to fight just because of him and his illusions. The arguments were getting worse and worse every time, digging deeper to Harry and Louis' faults in their own relationship.

Niall - dear, sweet Niall- sat silently by Liam's side and squeezed his hand. "Liam, you'd still want to be friends with us, right?"

Liam replied positive.

Zayn ignored him completely for the weeks that followed. They would see each other at the school lobby, the school library, the cafeteria, but Zayn might as well mistake Liam for air since he can't really be bothered.

Once, on a weekend, Liam went to town to grab the latest issue of Batman. He stumbled upon Zayn and Perrie in the comic book store. Perrie gave him an awkward smile. But Zayn, Zayn just pulled Perrie away from the place. Later that day, he saw them kissing on an alleyway. Surprisingly, and to Liam's delight, the ache he felt was not as painful as before.

He was ready to move on.

However that good news was interrupted by the time he got to his flat. When he opened the door, Louis jumped up on him and hugged him tight. He was crying.

"Harry broke up with me."

~~~

So they were back to the beginning, to that time before they met the Bradford boy and the tall boy with wide smile. This time, Liam had to be more careful, for Louis was a rebroken glass. And he had to handle this baggage for God knows how long. The things is, Liam did not think that their arguments would lead to a break up. But maybe that shows just how much Louis cares for him. So the least he could do is return the favor. And just like Zayn, Harry did not acknowledge Louis' existence from then on.

On that March evening, Louis was drinking in their flat. Liam was keeping a close eye on him. Dr. Who was on the telly.

"Do you think... do you think Haz still loves me?" Louis asked drunkenly.

Liam answered truthfully. "Yes. I think he still loves you, Lou. He just chose Zayn because he cares for him."

Louis laughed at that. "God, yes. Like how I would choose you over Harry any time. Oh, my dear reserved husband, who knew that our wedding will push through. I didn't think I really have to marry you."

"Who knew."

The door to their flat opened and a hesitant Niall Horan came in. "Good evening."Louis stood up. "What the hell are you doing here? Get out!"

Liam rose and held Louis. "Calm down, Lou." Then to Niall. "What do you want?"

"What? We can't be friends anymore?" the Irish bloke answered back, somewhat annoyed.

"That's not it, Niall." Liam sighed. "Did Zayn or Harry ask you to come here?"

"No." Niall shook his head. "I came on my own accord. To see how are you two going."

"I'm fine. It's Louis that is-"

"Tell Harry he can go suck Zayn's dick! I don't care anymore!" Louis yelled.

"Louis." Niall took a step forward. "I assure you there is nothing going on between Harry and Zayn. You know that."

But Louis had started crying under Liam's arms.

"He was not taking the break-up well." Liam explained. "How is Harry?"

"Believe it or not he misses Louis too. But he can't leave Zayn right now. Someone has to be on Zayn's side."

"And it can't be you?" Louis sniped.

"No." Niall exhaled. "I'm with Liam in this one." He looked at Liam and smiled at him.

Liam and Niall carried Louis to his bed and watched over him until he has fallen asleep. When they were sure he would not wake up anytime soon, they slipped outside the flat and into the waiting shed below.

"This is all my fault," Liam muttered. "Because of me Louis lost the best thing that happened to him. Now look at him. He's in misery."

Niall reached for his hand. "Don't blame yourself, Liam. Give it time. I'm sure they will work it out. They are crazy in love, remember?"

Liam studied the boy beside him. "Why are you doing this, Ni? Why are you on my side?"

Niall blinked at him, as if his question had been stupid. "Because maybe, I still believe that something good will come out of you and Zayn."

Liam laughed softly. "Please. I have to accept the fact that he will never love me. Sometimes you have to give up on some things to know if some things better will come." He paused and took a deep breath. "I want to be free."

Niall looked at him hopefully. "From Zayn?"

"Yes. You know what, I saw Zayn and Perrie snogging the other day on an alleyway. It didn't hurt that much, unlike before. Great improvement, huh?"

The other boy nodded thoughtfully and fell silent for a moment. "Liam, on that day of the art exhibit, you never told any of us what happened. We thought you were going to talk to Zayn but then you were gone. What happened?"

And perhaps it was not yet time to tell anyone what happened because telling anyone would just as mean revisiting that sickening memory. Seeing Zayn kiss Perrie is one thing since he had accepted the fact that they love each other. But he could never accept the words he heard Zayn gave that night. Never. However, Liam knew that there was no point not telling Niall. It was part of moving on, Liam thought, to tell the tale.

"I went to Zayn's after I left," Liam started. "And I saw him making love to Perrie. They did not see me, I hid behind the door. They were also talking about the other girls Zayn fucked while having sex. Funny, huh? Then I was brought to the topic. Then Zayn said, he said that I was just a casual fuck." Liam looked over at Niall, and saw the boy clenching his fists.

"He said that?"

"Yep. Could not believe it? I did not, too."

"Did you ask him about it? Maybe he has some explanations."

"I did. First Friday of the start of classes. He did not really answer it, though. And as you knew, I had confessed my feelings to him. I told him I love him. He rejected me."

"And just like that? You let him slip away? You gave up?"

Liam looked at him in disbelief. "I thought you side with me?"

"I am. But I know that you still love Zayn. Why don't you fight? I see Zayn everyday and I can see that he misses you too."

"You don't have to give me false hopes just to keep fighting, Niall," Liam said, feeling that tears were about to come. "I know. No need to lie. He and Perrie, they belong to each other."

"No, Liam. You did not even fight. You just gave up. If you love him, fight for him."

"What for? Zayn loves Perrie. They love each other. I am a witness to it. Who am I to get in the way to that? Just a casual fuck." He laughed bitterly.

"Liam..."

"Stop it. I have accepted it now, have accepted defeat. I don't belong in his arms. He doesn't need me. I know my place and that is enough. I just have to move on."

"Liam, look at me," Niall said and held the older boy's face in his hands and looked straight to his eyes. "Liam, you love Zayn."

"He loves Perrie," Liam repeated. "I want them to be happy."

Niall then embraced him, tight. As if he wanted to stick together all the broken pieces Liam has become since he met Zayn. Out of shock, it took a while before Liam hugged Niall back and cried on his shoulders, finally cry. Not just for himself but also for the abstruse beautiful boy and their two best friends who fell apart the time he and Zayn did.

"You're stupid," Niall whispered in his ear.

"No, love is stupid," Liam whispered back, crying. "And it hurts very much and it makes you very, very stupid and ridiculous... sad, hopeless, desperate... and jealous and cry over petty little things."

"Payno..."

"But love is also fun, and nice, and happy and giddy with all the butterflies in your stomach and wonderful and it makes you smile and laugh over the smallest things and... blush at all things cliche. I actually like it, the feelings it gives me. Maybe I'd try at it again someday."

Niall gently pushed himself from the embrace. He looked at Liam's eyes. A moment. Two. Then for the second time that evening, he stunned Liam. He kissed him on the lips.

Liam could not move, unknowing what to do, how to react. But then Niall ended the kiss and smiled at him sheepishly and wiped his tears with his hand.

"Niall..."

The Irish boy smiled again, sadder than before. "You are stupid, Liam Payne. Don't you know that I love you?"

Liam did not know how to react to that either.

"I love you, Liam. Always have been in love with you. At first I just contented myself to the side when I saw that it's Zayn who you wanted, it's Zayn that makes you happy. But he's making you cry and I can bear it no longer. And Harry is not here anymore to stop me from telling you that I love you very much."

"Niall... I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything. You will not reject me. Not tonight." Niall stood up and held out a hand. "Come. It's getting cold."

Liam looked at the hand stupidly. And "Okay," he said and took it.

The night wasn't that lovely. But there were many stars above, and they all seem to be comforting and ready to smile for him again.

~~~

After that night, Liam tried to avoid Niall. He felt distrustful after the recent turn of events; distrustful of Niall's intentions, distrustful of his own mixed-up feelings. And then again, he did not want to hope and love again right after Zayn. He would admit it, he has feelings for the Bradford boy still.

But Niall Horan was persistent. He kept showing up at Liam and Louis' doorstep and it did not take long for Niall to corner him in his own flat when Louis was out to get supplies. The wind was strong and the rains heavy. According to news there was a storm.

"You will not kick me out, right? Not when it's raining cats and dogs outside." Niall said and kicked his boots off to the doorstep.

"Jesus, Ni. Why did you run in here _now_? You're going to get sick." Liam said and threw a towel at him. he then proceeded to make coffee for the two of them in the kitchen while Niall watched and dried himself.

"You've been avoiding me." Niall said.

"Niall, do understand. I'm just starting to get over Zayn. You caught me off-guard. Honestly, I never thought you have feelings for me."

Niall snickered. "How can you not tell? Even Harry and Louis could see it."

"What I'm saying is, please give me more time to think about it. This is all too much for me."

"I'm fine by that, Li. But..." Niall reached out and held Liam's hand. "Please don't try to avoid me. I will give you time. That is our accession I won't violate. But I will not wait on a corner when I could be beside you and help you get over him. Maybe persuade to give us a chance."

Liam allowed himself to smile at the boy. "Thank you."

"Well," Niall breathe out and withdrew his hand, "on a not completely unrelated note... can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"If, ye know, for example, you didn't meet Zayn and instead you met the first ummm... do you think you could have fallen in love with me?"

Liam contemplated it for a moment. He did not find it in him to lie. "Probably, yes."

The smile Niall gave after was blinding. "Good enough for me." That was the first time Liam noticed how cute the other boy is.

That was also the time Niall became Liam's symbol for hope.

From then on, Niall became a constant visitor in their flat. He stayed by Liam's side to comfort Louis when the latter boy was on in his fits again. It did not take a while for Liam and Louis to welcome Niall's presence and call him as one of them.

And Niall felt being one of the as time flew pass. (Time moved slowly without Zayn.)

On late March, Niall rented a Spiderman costume to attend a convention Liam told him about. He met with Louis clad as Harry Potter and Liam as Deadpool at the entrance. Louis shamelessly laughed at them, as he told them that his then girlfriend Eleanor has tons of Spideypool fanfictions in her laptop. Although Liam and Niall were terribly embarrassed, they did not tell Louis to stop, because at least Louis was able to laugh at something.

Niall would have countless sleepovers in their flat. Zayn and Harry would be a topic during his sleepovers but Niall was quick to change the subject. For that Liam was grateful. The three would have movie marathons or Dungeons and Dragons or Monopoly or Halo 3.

When Liam got a fever, Niall actively played the accordion for him while he slept and made him mock turtle soup and practically camped at his bedside until he got well.

On a Tuesday of April, a week before Liam's thesis defense, the trio met Harper in a train station. She looked shocked at something she probably saw before seeing them. She recovered though and went with them to the comic book store. She saw how Niall would steal glances from the boy she heard that yet got his broken-hearted by the infamous Zayn Malik. The jet-black pulled Niall to a side.

"Everybody knows what happened to Malik and Payne. What are you doing? He is your best friend's ex."

"Richards, they were never in a relationship. They had a complicated sexual one, that's all. Zayn has no feelings for Liam. Most importantly, I love Liam. I'm ready to fight for him now."

"Does Payne know?"

"Yes. I have confessed."

"And he's okay with that?"

"I said I will give him time. In the meantime I will not let him get away."

Harper let out a breath. "Well..." she looked at the direction of Liam who was mingling over Superman comics. "You know that painting Malik exhibited last Christmas? That painting of Payne. It was very beautiful, am I correct? It got everybody else thinking that that was his confession of love to Payne. Payne is a very special boy, everybody can see. Such a shame Malik let him go." She looked straight at Niall. "Maybe you are good for him, Horan. Maybe you're the one who deserves him. Maybe you belong together."

Niall nodded. "I promise I won't ever break his heart. He still loves Zayn but probably he will learn to love me."

"Oh, hush. Good heavens, no! He should not and must not learn to love you. No, this is better. He will fall in love with you."

The bleached-blonde boy smiled at her gratefully.

"Anyway, you don't need my approval. It's the best friend you should worry about." She gestured towards Louis with her head.

"Yeah. I know."

In Louis' mind, Niall and Liam being together was not a good idea. For one, Niall was still Zayn and Harry's friend. For two, it was too soon for Liam to love again (according to experts, you need at least three months). For three, Niall and Liam being together meant that ZaynandLiam would never happen again which would entail that HarryandLouis would also never again happen. Harry truly supported Liam to win Zayn's heart, and Louis did like Zayn at first. But Zayn later showed to be a jerk. Louis could never let someone like him to touch his best friend. But he loves Harry, and Harry wanted Liam to be with his own best mate. So he kept silent. Harry and Louis did everything in their power to give Zayn and Liam some development, and get Niall out of the way. Because it was clear that Niall also wants Liam.

But then why would Louis bother anymore? Harry does not want him. Harry had not talk to him ever since. And last time he saw the curly-haired lad, he was holding hands with Danielle Peazer in the park. Harry saw him, too, and made him watch as he pulled Danielle to his chest and kissed her fiercely. Louis did not cry, but he did walk out and break their plates that night.

The night before Liam's defense, Niall talked to Louis alone and told him his intentions on Liam. Louis was not surprised. He was not happy either. He scoffed at Niall and told him, "Whatever. Just don't break his heart like your shitty friend did." He went to sleep thinking that his chances on Harry were going, _going_ , gone.

Niall treated Liam dinner after his successful defense. He attended every comic-con with him even though he could not relate to any of it. He makes sure, too, that Louis is okay. Niall was there when the college faculty told Liam he won Best Thesis. He was also there with Liam during the showing of The Dark Knight, comic book signing with Stan Lee, Michael Bolton concert, fitting of graduation uniforms, job interviews, Zayn and Perrie encounter. Whenever they see Zayn and Perrie, Niall would always squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring smile. One time he did it, Liam felt something tugged his heartstrings.

Liam was grateful that Niall did not put pressure on him. He laughed at his dumb jokes, scowled at his childish antics, smiled at his tales, warmed to his presence...

~~~

The very last time Liam saw the lovely couple together, he was walking by a diner on his way back to the flat after he bought takeouts for Louis, Niall (who was practically living with them), and Eleanor (who wanted to stay with them for the night after a harsh rejection from Cher). He haply looked through the window and saw their group: Danielle and Charlie talking silently, Cher and Josh laughing by the counter, John snogging a girl Liam did not recognize, Harry frowning to his phone, and Perrie and Zayn huddled in a corner, lost to their world and talking closely. He just looked at the couple for a moment, that couple whom he thought perfectly fits together, that couple completely in love, and found himself... smiling. No jealousy, no heartache, nothing. He has accepted it. Done with it.

Later, he happily told Niall about the incident and his reaction that came after. Niall was unsure. "Maybe you might want to talk to him one last time. For a proper closure."

Liam did not think so, didn't think he need it. Not when he was starting to feel something for the Irish boy. Something akin to infatuation.

~~~

During the graduation ceremony, when the caps have been thrown in the air, Zayn haply looked at Liam's direction. Liam saw and gave him a smile. Zayn smiled back if rather held back. But Liam did not mind. For him that was closure enough.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title came from Maria Mena's "Just Hold Me"


	6. So Why Don't We Go Somewhere Only We Know

"So I got an eye on a flat in London. Saw it on a website. We could all squeeze in together, the five of us. It's two blocks away from the university I'll be teaching. It got a nice view of an amusement park and it doesn't cost that much," Liam was telling his friends the day after graduation. He, Louis, Niall and Eleanor decided to eat together in a diner inside the campus(where Harper incidentally was working as a waitress) before going to their respective homes the next day.

"Five? Are you counting me in?" Harper asked as she served them their orders.

"Why not? You're headed to London, too. Right?" Liam asked.

"I am but... are we friends?"

Eleanor clapped her hands. "Not yet but we could be. Come on, Richards. It will be fun. Liam is a college instructor. Louis is a high school drama teacher. Niall is a cook. I am a model and you're - what are you again? Oh, a struggling writer. Variety of jobs, it will be a fiesta. We could be like the friends from _Friends_ or the gang from _How I Met Your Mother_. We will have debated on weekdays in diners like this and get dead drunk on a weekend. I'm so excited!"

"Whatever." Harper rolled her eyes. "Hey, I've got to go. My boss is staring at me. Make sure to leave me a tip after." She then disappeared into the counter.

"Back to topic," Liam said. "I will move in next month. Classes will start on September but I figured I have to adapt to city life. Louis, are you coming?"

"Count me in, babe."

"Niall?"

"I will follow you everywhere, Liam."

"Oh, that's sweet," Eleanor squealed. "Date him already, Liam. He's ever so loyal. He reminds me of Hachiko."

"Did you just compare me to a dog?"

"A sweet and lovable dog, Ni." Eleanor corrected.

"And an idiot one, too." Louis added.

Eleanor gasped. "You did not just say that to Hachiko. Take that back!"

Niall watched in amusement the scene before him. Eleanor and Louis fighting like cats and dogs, Liam trying to calm them down , Harper watching them from a distance. Then he thought, _This is nice. I could get used to this._

When he chose Liam, he had ended his friendship with Zayn and Harry. It was an unspoken conclusion. He had said he is going to Liam's and Zayn and Harry nodded their head once, and ignored him since then. Of course, at first he asked himself, why does he have to choose? He saw how things went between Zayn and Liam, and Harry and Louis. He had wanted to be the bridge for the two pairs. But calling Liam 'Just a casual fuck'? Forget it. That March night, he snapped up and confessed his real feelings to the Wolverhampton boy.

How could Liam not see that he loves him? Oh, scratch that. Liam had his eyes only on Zayn. Clearly he would not see.

But Niall would not give up. Especially when Liam kept on insisting that he has to forget Zayn, move on, and love someone new. He would be the confidence Liam was not in his relationship with Zayn. He would be the new form of hope for him. And he would not tire to wait until Liam learns to love him.

_No_ , Harper echoed in his mind. Not 'learn to love'. But fall in love with.

Liam would fall in love with him.

And that made the future much more exciting to wait for.

The five of them strolled the park afterwards. For a time nearing summer, the night was especially cold. Liam and Niall stayed behind the group, walking real close beside each other, and watched as Louis bully Harper why she was single while Eleanor just contented herself looking at the trees.

"Excuse me. Someone did try to court me but I dumped him because he is a cheat!"

"I don't believe you. How could someone like you? You're too ill-tempered. No offense."

"Talk to yourself, Tomlinson."

Liam laughed under his breath so only Niall could hear. "Look what friends we have, Ni."

Niall chuckled and shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. Damn, it's cold. "Yeah. A bunch of weirdos if you ask me."

Liam closed his eyes. "Not really. They still look normal to me." When he opened them and turned to Niall, they were gleaming.

The Irish boy slowly pulled one hand out his pocket and held Liam's hand firmly. "Liam..."

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

Liam reddened slightly and stared at the ground for a moment, then looked at Niall again. "I do like you."

"Then let's go out on a date. Give this a shot."

"But," the taller boy bit his lip. "Louis is-"

"I'll help find someone for him, too. Liam, why don't we give us a try?"

They had stopped walking now. The others had not noticed them paused.

"Just one date," Niall urged on.

"Okay," Liam whispered softly that Niall was not sure he heard it right.

"'Okay'? Did you say 'okay'?" Niall asked, a wide smile breaking in his face.

Liam laughed. "I thought that's what you wanted to hear?"

"Of course. Oh, God." He pulled Liam's face down and kissed him. He was so happy. Even more when Liam reciprocated the kiss and put his arms around his waist, willing them to move closer to each other. and deepened the kiss. When they broke apart, they were both catching their breaths. Liam rested his forehead on Niall's. "Thank you, Li."

"I can't really say no to someone as cute as you."

"I think that's the first time you paid compliment to my physical appearance."

"Get use to it, then. That won't be the last."

Niall was about to kiss the boy again when Louis came running to them and jumped at Liam. It almost knocked Liam off ground and it was lucky that said lad kept his balance. Louis hooked his legs around Liam's hips and his arms to his neck.

"What is this leprechaun telling you, my love?" Louis asked.

"Dammit, Louis! You have such bad timing!" Niall yelled.

"Hush, you leprechaun! I am not talking to you. And Liam is mine!" As if to prove his point, he licked Liam's cheek.

"Shit, Louis!" Liam growled at his bestfriend. "That's gross. Get yourself off me."

"No. You have to carry me home like this."

Harper and Eleanor walked to their spot. Harper rolled her eyes at Louis' acts. "If someone is walking by, they would think you're high on drugs.

Eleanor just smiled at them. "Let's go home, guys."

The three boys agreed. As the five of them walked again, Niall decided for the first time in his life that hope is a beautiful thing. Yes, he will get used to this, and enjoy every step of the way.

~~~

They met in London a week after. Such inconvenience, really. But Liam has gone home to Wolverhampton while Niall was staying with a relative in London. Plus, they decided to take a look at the flat Liam was talking about first.

At ten in the morning, Liam arrived and Niall greeted him in the tube stop. Niall did not even think twice to hold Liam's hand while walking to the flat. The day was promising. Not a cloud in the blue sky and the air was sweet.

Liam led him to a suburb near the university.

The flat was nice, with an air of comfort and the smell of pine trees. There were only two rooms, positioned at the far ends of the flat. The kitchen is by the main door while the occupants would have to share one bathroom that is between the two bedrooms. There was a big window where the amusement park could be viewed, and a hearth is positioned at the center of the room.

"Seriously, Liam,” Niall laughed. “How could the five of us fit into this place? It’s quite small, and with only one bathroom. Surely you remembered that you asked Eleanor and Harper to stay with us.”

Liam smiled wryly. “Well, I don’t think El and Harper would really live with us. For sure El would buy a unit of her own. And Harp, she’s a writer. I think she’ll find someplace where she can concentrate writing. And Louis…”

"What about him?”

"He called me the other day and said that the school he’ll be teaching in is an hour drive from here. He said he was looking for someplace closer to save time and money. He won’t be living with us.”

Niall immediately blushed at the point Liam was trying to make. “So it will only be the two of us.”

Liam shrugged. “If you don’t want to, we could live with Louis.”

"But you’ll be the one far from your workplace, then.”

"Yes. So… do we take this flat? Live with me?”

"I’ll follow you everywhere, Liam.”

"Goodness, Niall, you’re too sappy. You’re giving me cavities because of your sweetness.”

"Pffft. Whatever. Get use to it.”

They talked to the owner after and signed the necessary papers. They decided to move in after two weeks, excited by the idea of them living together.

Afterwards, they went to a movie house and watched Liam Neeson battle the bad guys who took him and his wife. They grabbed a late lunch at a burger stall and strolled in the park. Liam took a few candid with his digital camera. Niall pulled him to a boutique and bought him a scarf (even though it’s summer). In gratitude, Liam treated him freshly-baked scones. They danced to a street performer playing a jolly melody with his violin. They took turns posing ridiculous poses in front of a police station. When they were taking shortcut inside a mall to go to an arcade center, the wedding march suddenly played. They just laughed it off. All in all, they were having a good time.

At seven in the evening, Niall led him to a pub near the art museum. There was a band playing onstage and the place kind of reminds Liam the pub they had in college.

The pair was just having a nice chat when the band finished their number and asked someone from the audience to sing onstage.

"Liam Payne!” Niall shouted out of a whim.

"All right!” the lead vocalist/guitarist boomed. “The chap over there said ‘Liam Payne’! Who is this Liam? Come up and sing for us!”

The crowd cheered merrily and chanted _Liam! Liam! Liam!_

Liam gave Niall a playful glare before giving in to the crowd and mounted the stage, eliciting a round of applause from them. He whispered some directions to the vocalist, who then relayed instructions to his band mates.

Liam faced the people and cleared his throat. The crowd grew quiet in anticipation. He smiled, “This song is for my lovely date, Niall Horan.” He gestured at the boy with a hand. Niall reddened while the people started to clap again and catcall. But they gradually silenced when Liam began to sing:

_"I’ll be kind if you’ll be faithful_

_You be sweet and I’ll be grateful_

_Cover me with kisses dear_

_Lighten up the atmosphere_

_Keep me warm inside our bed_

_I got dreams of you all through my head_

_Fortune teller said I’d be free_

_And that’s the day you came to me_

_Came to me_

_._

_"Come to me my sweetest friend_

_Can you feel my heart again_

_I’ll take you back where you belong_

_And this will be our favorite song_

_Come to me with secrets bare_

_I’ll love you more so don’t be scared_

_When we’re old and near the end_

_We’ll go home and start again_

_._

_"You caught me burnin' photographs_

_Like that could save me from my past_

_History is like gravity_

_It holds you down away from me_

_You and me, we've both got sins_

_You don't care about where I have been_

_Don't be sad and don't explain_

_This is where we start again_

_Start again_

_._

_"Come to me my sweetest friend_

_Can you feel my heart again_

_I’ll take you back where you belong_

_And this will be our favorite song_

_Come to me with secrets bare_

_I’ll love you more so don’t be scared_

_When we’re old and near the end_

_We’ll go home and start again_

_Start again_

_._

_"Today's the day I'll make you mine_

_So get me to the church on time_

_Take my hand in this empty room_

_You're my boy, and I'm your groom_

_._

_"Come to me my sweetest friend_

_This is where we start again, again_

_._

_"Come to me my sweetest friend_

_Can you feel my heart again_

_I’ll take you back where you belong_

_And this will be our favorite song_

_Come to me with secrets bare_

_I’ll love you more so don’t be scared_

_When we’re old and near the end_

_We’ll go home and start again_

_Start again."_

The song ended with lots of claps and cheers and catcalls, but Niall did not hear. In fact he forgot that there were other people in the room. His focus was only on Liam standing onstage, looking at him too with a proud smile.

Damn if he was not falling deeper into love.

Niall walked Liam to the tube stop at nine in the evening, heart beating too fast and body giddy with affection.

”Today was fun,” Liam said quietly.

”What ‘fun’? It was the best!” Niall said with an air of pride.

”Yeah,” Liam chuckled. “It was.”

Niall turned serious. “Thank you for agreeing to this date. I truly appreciate it.”

”You’re welcome. I enjoyed this day very much.”

The tube came and it was time for Liam to go. Niall’s heart ached a little.

”See you in two weeks,” Niall said hopefully.

But Liam just stood there, staring at him, as if making something up in his mind.

”Liam, your—“ and he was cut off by a pair of lips pressing against his tenderly. It did not take a while for Niall to return it.

The taller boy pulled back a few inches and whispered, “I truly enjoyed our date. Maybe I will not mind another one.”

Niall grinned wide. “Really?”

"Yeah. And after that, maybe another one again, and another, another.”

"Okay. We’ll discuss that.”

"In two weeks. See you in two weeks, Niall,” Liam said and pecked Niall’s lips before running through the closing doors of the tube, successfully getting inside. He waved at Niall through the windows.

Niall waved back and went home happy and dazed and excited. Against that cool night, he was warm all over. He could not sleep when he got home, just thinking about the kiss, replaying the scene over and over in his head, and singing that song in whispers and giggles:

_"You’re my boy, and I’m your groom_

_Come to me my sweetest friend.”_

Gods, he was like a teenager who got noticed by his crush for the first time. But can he help it? No. You must understand. That could really be his favorite song from then on.

~~~

The two saw each other again exactly two weeks after in their new flat.

Louis had moved in to his new flat a day before them and met his new flatmate, Ed Sheeran, a boy who solely answered his inquiry on Facebook in finding a flatmate. Louis had texted him that he will miss being Liam’s roommate. They lived together for four long and beautiful years in college and surely they would miss each other’s presence. Liam replied that this was a good move for Louis so he could grow up and at least be conscious on using his roommate’s underwear without permission. Louis told him to shut up… and good luck living with that leprechaun.

Liam was right when he said Eleanor would buy a condo unit. She did. She borrowed money from her mother to buy and promised to pay her once she saved money from her modeling career and her sideline as a graphic designer. Harper, on the other hand, rented a room above a tavern that was owned by a distant relative.

It took Liam and Niall two days to arrange their things. After which they called for a hangout that rainy summer day in a cafeteria near the university belt. Louis was late (as of course living the farthest) and they just sat there, the friends that they are, talking about almost anything: the weather, how fit Kate Upton is, how they will adapt to their new lives, do they miss college, Star Trek. Some time, Eleanor went to the counter for another cup of coffee and when she came back, she had Taylor Swift on her side. They let her join in and offered her their friendship that she gratefully accepted.

The day dragged on and the rain was getting bad. Louis was worried because it would be hard to catch a cab during hard rains. Taylor drove him home. Eleanor excused herself, followed by Harper. Soon it was only Liam and Niall left and they went out into the rain without opening their umbrellas. They danced and sang in the rain like a couple of idiots that they are, got home and took a shower separately. They dressed and sipped another mug of coffee while Beethoven was on Liam’s vinyl player. They sat by the window and watched the rain dripped outside. That serene moment was satisfying for the both of them. It was very lovely, a thing to be captured in memory.

~~~

They date on the weeks that followed. It was halted though when academic year began and Niall became a regular in his job in the restaurant. Both of them would go home late and have little to no time with each other. But they would make it up on weekends. Sometimes they would go out or just lie on the couch on Sundays and watch cartoons.

It became an agreement for the circle of friends to meet in that cafeteria every Friday; to talk, to laugh, to feel young and be an idiot with one another. Louis would bring his flatmate with him, Ed Sheeran. Soon he became part of the group. He was a decent bloke and it seemed to them that Taylor likes him.

In fairness to their jobs and achievements, Liam was a well-loved college instructor. He is kind and considerate to his students and he teaches very well. Recently he has gotten loads of love letters from ‘secret admirers’. It was becoming out of hand. He announced in class one fair day that he was flattered that he was being appreciated but he was seeing an Irish boy he might be in love with.

Niall was dedicated and adept about his job as an apprentice chef. The boss, a perverted middle-aged man with a brotherly attitude, learned about his relationship with another man. He winked at Niall as he handed him a porn magazine of sex tips. Niall blushed terribly and did not want the gift… at first. But he went home with it and placed it in the deepest part of his closet for ‘future reference’.

Louis became famous in the school he was teaching at for directing _Wizard of Oz_ that became a hit. He was paid compliments and the school board noticed him. He was becoming known as a connoisseur of fine writings. Soon after, he dated a co-teacher, a lady named Annabelle, and they became a couple. He thought he was contented. But there were nights when he looks out the window and wish for a certain boy with curly hair to embrace him.

Eleanor was struggling hard in her modeling career. She has problems with keeping her weight. Another model learned that she is gay and spread the word. She had to transfer to another agency to avoid more conflict. She was really ashamed of what she was. And every night she would cry because this was all too hard.

The aesthete Harper was busy on her own. She was working in the indie industry but her aptitudes were yet to be noticed. Sometimes, she would babysit the toddler next door to earn more money. One time, she was flipping through a travel magazine and saw Harry Styles’ name listed as a contributing photographer. She did not tell Louis about that.

Taylor spends more time with Ed, both moonlighting to be celebrated composers and musicians. Be known acoustic singers at the very least. They would casually stroll through the park to look for song inspirations. Often they would be mistaken for a couple. Taylor entered so many relationships and had numerous heartbreaks and breakups. She would write songs about those on a whim. Ed said “You know, I think we won’t need to walk through a park or something for inspiration. Just you being heartbroken is enough.” Taylor knew it was meant to be joke, but it hurt coming from a boy she has taken a liking of.

They were friends, with imperfections, lies and secrets. They know what the other feels and how to comfort him or her, how to give a sound advice, a rightful reply, a good comeback, a friendly insult.

On gloomy days, they would have equally gloomy topics. If Ed, Liam and Niall are not around, they would talk about their pasts and how terrible it is that only Liam got to have a new chance in this miserable thing called love.

Time moved pass (and it did move fast when you’re busy and not checking the calendar). Soon it was Christmas again. The night of the last day of classes, Niall dragged Liam along to the amusement park for their “last date of the year”.

Liam seemed to be nervous about something and Niall wondered that as he pulled him again to the Ferris wheel.

”Are you okay, Liam?”

”Yes. Why do you ask?”

”You seemed… off.”

”It’s nothing. I’m fine. Are you okay, Niall?”

”Fuck off.”

Liam giggled. “That’s rude, Ni. We’re on a date. You’re not supposed to say bad words.”

”Whatevs.” He looked out the car window and witnessed the brilliant lights everywhere. “It’s very beautiful, isn’t it?” he paused and remembered something. When they reached the highest peak of the ride, he blurted out, “I love you, Liam Payne.”

The taller boy looked at him in surprise. “Ni?”

”Nah. I just remembered this legend an old friend told me about. That when you’re in a Ferris wheel with that person you love, tell your feelings to them when you reached the peak. You will end up together forever if you do that. Lovely legend.”

Liam kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”

They had been dating for seven months now, Niall reflected. And every time he said “I love you” to Liam, all he ever hear was “Thank you” or “I like you” or “You’re so sweet” but not the proper reply. He wanted to know badly when will it be.

After the ride, Liam and Niall came to a bench overlooking the lake to an adumbral part of the amusement park. Liam made Niall sit there and left. When he came back, there were a bunch of lilies in his hands.

”I realized I haven’t even gave you anything since we started dating,” Liam explained and thrust the flowers to Niall’s waiting hands.

”Now who’s the cheesy one here?” Niall asked mockingly but his heart was throbbing with pleasure. And as the Wolverhampton boy sat beside closely to him, he could not help but to hold the flowers to his chest and breathe in to it. “You don’t have to give me anything.”

”But you love it though. Right?” Liam asked eagerly.

Niall looked at him with gleam in his eyes. “Of course. Thank you.”

Liam turned serious and took Niall’s hand. He cleared his throat once, took in a deep breath, and said, “Niall, would you be my boyfriend?”

The bleached blonde boy could not believe his ears. Did Liam just ask him to be his boyfriend? It must be the lilies. Or he must be dreaming: a wonderful, wonderful dream.

But Liam rambled on, “I know it’s a bit of a shock. I don’t know how I could have proposed better. I haven’t seen that many romantic movies to get tips on asking someone to be your boyfriend. But I want you to be mine, Niall. You have stayed beside for so long and I love your mock turtle soup and you sing with me in the rain and you’re always wonderful. And most important of all, I love you. I really, really love you, Niall.”

Niall was crying by the end of his speech. _I love you, Niall._ his mind repeated on a loop. He threw himself in Liam’s arms and sobbed.

”Nialler?”

They boy said something but the words were muffled by his tears that Liam did not catch it.

”What is that?” Liam asked with a soft laugh. “Can you repeat that, love?”

Niall hit Liam’s chest with his fist and shouted in his face, “I said I love you too, asshole!”

And Liam was laughing joyously, beautiful peals of laughter that are music to Niall’s ears. Then Niall joined his laugh, though still in tears. And then they were kissing, soft and sweet. And like a generic romantic movie, fireworks shot the sky, and everything was so bright and wonderful and magical. It was all very lovely. Cliché and cheesy but lovely nonetheless. Whoever said that hope leads you nowhere?

When they got home, they spread on the couch and got naked. They touched each other’s bodies, the first time they were able to. They kissed and made love and moaned each other’s names when they both came.

In the morning, they woke up still tangled on the carpeted floor. Liam lazily smiled at him and dragged a hand through the other boys’ hair.

”So, how about it? Will you be my boyfriend?”

”No need to ask.”

~~~

Flash forward two years later, on a Sunday of March, Niall woke late and alone in their flat. He called for his boyfriend and searched around the place but no luck. He called him through phone, starting to worry. But Liam was not answering. Niall contacted Louis next, then Eleanor, Harper, Taylor and Ed. No one was responding. Upset, he got dressed and decided to go to the university campus. Maybe Liam was there. No chance. His feet led him to the cafeteria they always hand out in. Nope. He walked home, hoping that Liam was already there. Still not.

By six in the evening he was frustrated, exhausted and angry. Suddenly, his mobile rang and the call was coming from Liam.

”Finally. Dammit, Liam!” Niall yelled. “Where are you? I’ve been looking for you all day.”

Liam, though, was not answering.

”Li? Is everything all right?” Niall whispered, all of a sudden fearing bad things.

”Niall, this is very important. I need you to come to Louis’ school, in the gymnasium. This is an emergency.”

”What is happening?” Niall pressed on.

”Just… come here, please.” Liam said and hanged up.

Niall did not waste a second. He ran outside and hailed a cab. What with the traffic and the distance, it was taking too long than Niall could tolerate. The driver got irritated at his constant cries to drive faster. He got to his destination an hour and a half later and still felt he was not fast enough to run to the gym. He knew where the gymnasium is. They had visited Louis in his work every so often. He reached the building and opened the great doors… and stopped breathing.

The band, which was composed of his friends (Taylor and Ed on guitars, Louis on keyboard, Harper on drums and Eleanor on violin), started playing. And then Liam started to sing _that_ song.

_”I’ll be kind if you’ll be faithful_

_You be sweet and I’ll be grateful_

_Cover me with kisses dear_

_Lighten up the atmosphere_

_Keep me warm inside our bed_

_I got dreams of you all through my head_

_Fortune teller said I’d be free_

_And that’s the day you came to me_

_Came to me”_

While he was singing, Niall took in his surroundings. The place was lighted by Christmas lights, lampshades and candles ( _Where the heck did they get all these?_ Niall briefly wondered.) there was a small table in front of the band with a lighted candle on top. There were two figures occupying the table: a leprechaun bear and a wolf stuffed toy.

_”Today’s the day I’ll make you mine_

_So get me to the church on time_

_Take my hand in this empty room_

_You’re my boy and I’m your groom._

_._

_”Come to me my sweetest friend_

_This is where we start again, again_

_._

_”Come to me my sweetest friend_

_Can you feel my heart again_

_Take you back where you belong_

_This will be our favorite song_

_Come to me with secrets bare_

_I’ll love you more so don’t be scared_

_When we’re old and near the end_

_We’ll go home and start again_

_Start again.”_

”Niall James Horan,” Liam breathed. “Will you marry me?”

With a smile and a tear in his eyes, Niall nodded, feeling warm and light. “Yes. Yes, you wanker. You don’t need to ask.”

It was just so divine. And it was only the beginning of their life together. _Ad astra per aspera_.

~~~

Four months later, in the middle of July, the engaged couple received the news of Cher Lloyd’s arrival in London, entailing the arrival, too, of her friends: Harry Styles, John Mayer, Josh Devine, Charlie Hayes, Danielle Peazer, Perrie Edwards, and Zayn Malik.

Niall looked around at his friends on the table. Taylor walked out, Eleanor was mumbling something incoherent, Harper was too silent, Ed was looking clueless, Louis was in a bad mood. Only Liam stayed calm and warm in his touch. However, Niall became uneasy. This was Zayn they were talking about. The Bradford boy was a rare topic during their conversations. Niall marveled if Liam has not forgotten him, if there is still an inkling of adoration for his old friend. For the first time in three years, Niall admittedly feared and doubted.

_But what about?_ Niall asked his irrational self. Zayn probably got married to Perrie now. And Liam loves you.

With the silent and quick adjournment of that meeting, they went home. Liam silently made his way into the kitchen and prepared tea for the twp of them. Niall watched him silently. There was tension in the air.

”I hope Eleanor is okay,” Liam said, breaking the silence. He handed Niall his tea and they stood by the large window. “Her situation must be hard,” Liam said again. “Louis, too. I wish he’s fine. But, is it bad if I also wish he would see Harry again? I think they really belong together. What do you think?”

”Lou is a trainwreck. Do you think he can handle seeing Harry again? Lots of pride, too,” Niall replied sternly. It shocked Liam.

”Niall, are you okay?”

”Yes, I’m fine.” He looked of the window to the park below. “It’s just… Zayn.”

”What about him?”

Niall stared back at Liam, letting his worries show. “He’s come back.”

”And?”

Niall placed his mug by the windowsill. “Be honest. Have you got feelings for him still?”

”Maybe,” Liam chuckled, and what the fuck.

Niall looked at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe it. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he turned to leave but Liam grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to look straight to his eyes.

"Hey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Ni,” he said with a sincere expression on his face.

"You’re such a jerk.” But he leaned his head on Liam’s chest and sighed. “We have not talk about him for a long time. How do you think he is?”

"Probably married to Perrie. And still beautiful.”

Niall made a sound in his throat. “Yeah. I remember you always, always describe him as beautiful.”

"Oh, Niall.” Liam held Niall’s face and gently forced him to look directly at him. He brushed his hair from his forehead with a hand. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” he asked with a gentle look in his eyes. He smiled and made circular motions with his thumb in the nape of Niall’s neck.

The shorter boy pouted. “What do you think?”

Liam drew his face closer to Niall’s. “Zayn is beautiful and all but-" he kissed Niall’s cheek “-you’re cute and funny-" kissed the tip of his nose “-and sweet-" kissed his closed eyes “-and a good cook and gorgeous-" his forehead “-and has the voice of an angel-" both his cheeks “-and extraordinary and wonderful and selfless-“

Niall whimpered.

"-and I love you.” Liam finished and went to his lips.

Niall was loving the moment, just loves kissing Liam and be told of those three words. He let Liam dominate the kiss and pull him close to his chest, and let those strong arms hold him like they won’t let go anytime soon. He wound his arms around Liam’s neck. They were both on fire and getting hard.

Liam lifted him to his feet and Niall instinctively wrapped his legs around Liam, lips still attached to the taller boy’s. Carrying him by his bottom, Liam walked in his bedroom and laid him on his bed. He stepped back to discard all his clothing including his boxers while Niall watched in fascination. He gets back to Niall and pressed their lips together again. He pried Niall’s mouth open and explored all the corners inside with his tongue that left the boy melt with desire. Then Liam left Niall’s mouth and attacked his neck. He bit the skin close to the boy’s Adam’s apple then trailed soft kisses from his neck to his chest that was still covered in cloth. He flipped themselves over and let Niall straddle his hips. The bleached blonde boy took off his shirt and kissed Liam tenderly. He wanted more.

While they were kissing, Liam slipped a hand beneath Niall’s pants, which was too tight because of the belt. He managed it though and squeezed the boy’s ass. It made Niall gasped in their kiss and gripped him tightly by the shoulders. Then, with trembling hands, Niall unbuckled his belt and zipped open his pants. With more space, Liam’s hand traveled to Niall’s front and pressed there, eliciting a loud moan from Niall. Liam took out Niall’s cock and twisted and jerked the gadget on and on, his eyes not leaving Niall’s face.

”Liam…” Niall sighed.

Liam pulled Niall’s pants and boxers off him and tossed it to a side. Now both completely naked, Niall threw himself in Liam’s waiting arms.

”Liam,” he said again against Liam’s neck. “You would never leave me, right?”

”Oh, love. What made you think that I would leave you?” Liam asked. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

Niall sat up slightly to gaze at Liam and saw that he was telling the truth. “I love you.”

”I love you more. I’m all yours, Niall.”

Niall nodded, smiling and confident again. “Mine.” Then he positioned his hole above Liam’s hard member. He dropped himself without second’s hesitation and without warning, taking Liam all in. His head was tilted back in pain and in pleasure, exposing his neck that was licked then by Liam whilst holding his hips tightly for support. When he was finally accustomed to the pain, he tightened his arms around Liam’s neck while the other boy shifted his hold to his waist. There was a moment of comfortable silence before Niall started moving up and down on Liam’s shaft, the movement getting faster and deeper with every drop. They were both panting very hard and breathing each other’s names. They wanted the moment to last longer but they were reaching their limits. They kissed and Liam held Niall’s cock again to pull at it with every thrust.

Niall came first in Liam’s hand accompanied by a loud moan. He fell on Liam’s shoulders. Liam came seconds after inside Niall. Gently, he switched their positions again to let Niall rest on the pillows. He pulled his member outside of Niall, oozing the cum to his thighs. He fell beside him and tugged him tenderly to his chest and brushed his hair with his fingers.

”I will love you always, Ni. Remember that.”

Niall smiled against his chest. “We should probably sleep. We got a train to catch early tomorrow,” he said, tracing circles on Liam’s shoulderblades. “I will still meet your parents. I’m worried about that, too.”

”Don’t be. I’m sure they will like you very much.”

”I hope.” Niall slept soundly not long after, thinking that there is nothing much better in his life.

END OF CHAPTER SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title came from Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know"  
> ...song used: "Come To Me" by Goo Goo dolls with slightly altered lyrics  
> ... _ad astra per aspera_ \- Latin for to the stars through difficulties


	7. Nobody Said It Was Easy

That Monday night, three hearts will break.

John Mayer sees Taylor Swift singing with a bloke named Ed Sheeran and his heart breaks.

Louis Tomlinson does not want to see Harry Styles again and Harry's heart breaks.

Zayn Malik learns about Liam Payne's engagement to Niall Horan and his heart breaks.

But where do we start?

Maybe to the part where Liam is sitting with Niall, Eleanor, Louis and Harper contentedly enjoying Taylor and Ed’s performance when out of nowhere a Charlie Hayes comes and takes the sit beside Hraper.

The five all but gape at the newcomer and give him a look of The-fuck-is-going-on?

“Hello,” Charlie says happily. He is wearing a short with a picture of amoretto, an infant cupid, and it easily becomes painful to the eyes. “Am pleased to see you all again. What? It’s been three years. Look at us. We’ve all changed.”

Louis speaks first. “The fuck are you doing here, Hayes?”

“Seeing you all again, of course. Know what these three years has done to you. And… ‘somebody’ told me you’ll all be here tonight.” He winks at Harper who glares at him as if saying, “I will fucking kill you, you stupid, idiotic, moronic, dimwitted, antic imbecile.” The obvious vibe of animosity, however, has clearly no effect on him.

Liam sees that and clears his throat. “Is there something you want to say, Harp?”

The girl shamefully stares at her hands and does not answer.

“Save that for later,” Eleanor says. “Hayes, where are the others?”

“Searching for you, too. We’ve spread out to locate you, see. I have found you first. But they’ll be here in a while. Don’t worry, Calder. Cher and Josh did not come with us tonight. They said it’s fine. This does not concern them anymore, they said. Danielle just came from Hawaii. John and Harry are here. Poor Zayn missed his train. But he’ll be here. You know, we won’t learn that we’ll find you here if not for-“

“Shut up, Hayes!” Harper bursts out while the other four looks at Charlie stupidly. On stage, taylor and Ed sings another number, both unaware their friends’ current situation. This time, Niall speaks:

“Hayes, please leave this table right now.”

“I don’t get it. Why?” Charlie mumbles.

Before Niall could explain precisely the obvious reason why, Louis rises from his seat and makes a go the exit. Liam gives an apologetic look to his fiancé before following Louis.

He catches him by the door then pulls him to the men’s room away from any disturbance so they could talk.

“Lou, what’s the matter?” Liam asks.

“I think you know very well what the matter is,” Louis says sounding both sad and offended at the same time. “Harry is here. Hayes said he’s here.”

Liam urges him to continue with a nod.

”He’s gonna come with a woman probably. Probably Peazer. He’s gonna rub that in my face then say this is what I get for not choosing him. I will be a sore loser in his eyes. I hate being loser in someone’s eyes. Hate it so much. Then he’ll be right. But I do not regret choosing you, Liam. You should know that.”

“I know.”

Louis takes in a deep breath. I don’t want to see him, Li. Please let me leave.”

“When will you be ready to see him, Lou? If not now? We both know this day would come.”

Louis looks at him with a grim expression. “You are my best friend, Liam. And I love you. But I’m sorry to say that you can be insensitive at times. It’s easy for you to say those things. You had Niall to catch you the day you fell. Us?Me, Taylor, El and Harp? We had none. No offense, by the way.”

Liam’s face twists a little. “None taken.”

“I always thought back then that it would be nice if it will be you and me. Like real lovers perhaps. Then Harry came, and Zayn, and Niall. Niall is okay. I really think that if it’s not me, Niall is the one for you. I’m very happy for the both of you. I’m glad you have him, Li. You should know that, too.”

“Thank you,” Liam smiles then asks playfully, “You’re not upset that I got a lovelifewhile you are alone?”

Louis laughs a little. “I’m mature now, Li. And I don’t do waterworks.”

Liam puts an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s go back to our table, Louis. Taylor and Ed need our support.”

“I really can’t. Do understand.” He slips from his hold and turns back towards the exit. “Just… maybe you could record their performance for me. Tell then I’m sorry. If you tell them my explanations, they will understand. I don’t want to face Harry whilst still a failure in relationships.”

Although it is painful, Liam accedes. He thinks, _Maybe Louis has matured just like he sais, but he will always be the glass Liam will take care of. A glass that he knows how to handle rather well._

He goes back to their table and finds Harry, Danielle, Perrie and John had sat with them (Though it’s been years, Liam easily recognizes them. There must be a why for that). Oh, Harper owes an awful lot of explanations. Eleanor is really looking pissed off at the table. Harry sees Liam and runs to hug him.

“Liam!”

Well, he’s always been known as someone affectionate, Liam thinks, and returns the gesture.

“How are you?” Harry asks with that familiar wide smile. He’s still the same, Liam notes. Only the curls are gone replaced with long unruly hair but that’s all. Changed but still the same. “Wow, look at you, Li. You’ve changed. The beard suits you very well. And you’re built’s gotten big.”

Liam laughs, “Simple workouts, Harry,” he says, amusing him.

“My, you’re hot!” Danielle says from her seat.

“Sod off, Peazer,” Harper snaps. “He’s an engaged man.”

“With who?”

Liam answers. “With that leprechaun in your table.”

“Stop calling me leprechaun, Li.”

“Sorry, love.”

Danielle looks flabbergasted. Perrie and John, though, stay quiet as if they already have that knowledge. Liam dismisses it.

Harry looks behind him, clearly agitated and getting antsy. “Liam, where’s Louis?”

Liam does not falter to say the truth. “Went home. He does not want to see you, Harry.”

Harry is stunned. “What?”

Eleanor snickers. “I told you, Styles. Louis does not want to see you ever again. So go away and be gone forever. Take your friends with you, too. Don’t ever show your faces to us again.”

“Wow. You’ve become one pathetic bitch, did you know that?” Danielle asks wonderingly.

At that Eleanor gives her a death stare. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“One pathetic bitch who got rejected then turned bitter and turned to someone who doesn’t want to make her friends happy.”

“What?! What do you think this is, All Fool’s Day? Do you think Harry could make Louis happy? He promised he won’t break Louis’ heart. Said he will take care of him. Said he’s in good hands. What has he done, huh? What has he done?”

“Please, calm down.” Charlie says.

Liam takes no heed of their continued argument and focuses on the boy in front of him.

“Liam, please tell me where can I find Louis. I need to see him.”

“Why? What do you want from him?”

“I want to apologize to him. I still love him, Liam. All these years I still do. Please let me talk to him. Let me talk to him. You understand, right?”

Liam nods. “So, I take it that there’s nothing between you and Danielle?”

Niall gets up from his seat and stands beside Liam.

Harry replies, “Absolutely nothing.”

Liam held out his hand. “Give me your phone.”

With confusion, Harry hands him his mobile.

Liam goes to the ‘Create Message’ option and jabs in an address and a contact number. He returns the phone and says, “That’s Louis’ address and number. Go to him, Harry. Please make it right this time.”

Harry nods with relief and gratitude drawing in his face. “I will. Thank you so much.” With his approvement, he runs as quick as lightning for the door, to the boy whom Liam believes belongs to him, to, to his best friend who claims to have matured.

 _Give it time. They will work it out. They are crazy in love, remember?_ says Niall in his head.

Yes, Louis might have matured but he is still his best mate and he knows what he really needs. Best friends have that kind of knowledge, you know. Louis might not admit it but he needs Harry just as much Harry needs him in return. Liam will give him the confrontation.

“Job well done,” Niall says and rests his head on his shoulders. “Do you think Louis will appreciate what you did? Or will he forgive you?”

“He will. He’s matured now.”

From behind them, Eleanor realizes what Liam has done and shrieks. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LIAM? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

The shriek is more than enough to make the whole pub stop and stare at them in puzzlement. Even Taylor and Ed pauses in their song and looks at them.

_“I just wanna know you bet-“_

Taylor sees John with them and becomes even more distracted. Ed just scratches his head in confusion.

“ANSWER ME, LIAM!” Eleanor shrieks again.

Oh, boy. This will be a hard work.

Liam motions something to Charlie and the boy grabs Eleanor by the waist and carries her outside. Eleanor fights him wildly. Soon Harper and Perrie help Charlie. Niall, Liam and Danielle follows them, leaving an amused crowd and an uninterested John inside.

~~~

They end up by the side of the ancient art museum, facing the woods where no people walk by. Once there, Charlie drops Eleanor and the girl turns to Liam and slaps him across the face.

“Why did you do that? Why did you give him Louis’ whereabouts? You’re his best friend! He said he doesn’t want to see Harry again!”

“Jesus, El, be calm!” Liam says and cradles the side of his face that has been hit.

Eleanor begins to cry. She sits on the ground and covers her face. “I don’t want them here, Liam. Make them go away. They’ll ruin everything, I’m sure of that.”

Patiently, Perrie sits beside her and pats her back. “Eleanor, did you know that Harry has been missing Louis these past years? He really wants to make it up to Louis. Not a day goes by that he says he is hoping to see Louis again. He loves your friend. I can attest to that. And I want Harry to be happy. I’m his friend. Don’t you want your own friend to be happy, too?”

“Shut up! They’re all lies! Lies!” Eleanor stands up and storms away. Harper turns to run after her but Danielle stops her.

“Let her be,” Danielle says. “A lady never wants company while she is gathering her thoughts. Sense will eventually knock on her head.”

Perrie sighs as she stands up. “Well, what do we do now?”

“Go home,” Danielle whines. “Why, I just arrived from Hawaii an hour ago. Talk about jet lag. You guys are impossible.”

“We can’t leave, Danielle,” Perrie firmly says. “Zayn will be here.”

The group falls silent, awkward silence but then broken when Niall speaks. “So, what did Josh said? I asked him if he would like to be my best man via e-mail but he did not reply. What did he say?”

Charlie answers. “Yep. He’s interested. But I think he may have to consult you about the schedule. He has business in Australia that needs constant checking, you know.”

Niall grins. “That’s okay. We will discuss it.”

“So…when did this happen?” Perrie asks Niall. “When did you propose to Liam?”

Liam raises his hand. “Actually, I proposed. Last March.”

“Cheesy as fuck,” Niall fondly laughs.

“You liked it,” Liam says and twirls Niall around then kisses him.

“How cute,” Perrie mutters as she watches them.

“How about you and Zayn?” Liam asks. “Been good?”

“We broke up.”

Liam stops, astounded by the news. “Oh.” He feels Niall squeeze his hand tighter. “Why? Sorry, I mean-“

“It’s okay. It happens in relationship. It’s only natural that sometimes you fall out of love. You thought that we will be each other’s forever, do you?”

“Yes. Sorry. I really thought you look good together. How is Zayn now?”

“There’s this someone that he realizes he really loves. And he wants to pursue that someone again. He’s hoping that it’s not too late and that someone still loves him.”

“And you?”

“I’m actually helping Zayn,” is all Perrie says.

Well, that is a real downer, Liam thinks. There I was thinking that they are perfect for each other. Some things just don’t work out, huh. “So, who is she? Do you know her?”

“Not really. But he did attend the same university as Zayn.”

“’He’?”

“Yes, Liam.He.”

“Save the chat for later,” Danielle interrupts. “Can we just go back inside? Your friends are still playing, right?”

~~~

While all of those are going on, John sits silently inside the pub and watches Taylor perform onstage with the red-headed bloke with her on the supermarket last Friday.

He doesn’t know why but he feels something… not good. Something that could be jealousy.But why? He had never thought much about Taylor these past years. Quite frankly, he had even forgotten that he met someone like her. Back in college, he only dated her because of a bet between him and his bandmates. Who could date a plain-looking girl the longest? He won by the way. Then Taylor found out about that and that he was seeing another girl. She had gotten into his nerves then during their confrontation so he had said some mean things to her.

But now, why? Why is he jealous? Something is wrong in this world.

After three more pinches of beer, John finally decides he wants to talk to Taylor by the end of the night. The girl distractedly tries to avoid his gaze. John will see what he can do about that. Well, here goes nothing.

~~~

The journey is long, taking almost an hour of Harry’s time. But that is over. He is here, in front of Louis’ shared flat with Ed. He doesn’t know what to say when Louis opens the door or how to react. Suddenly all his practiced speech that he will say when he meets Louis again are all forgotten. And how will Louis react when he sees him? Will he be happy or angry? Whatever. He knocks on the door, barely containing his anticipation.

“Coming…” goes the answer. Oh, how he missed that voice. If everything turns out right tonight, he will be able to hear that voice every day. _Shut up_ , his inner thoughts tell him. There’s no ‘ifs’. Everything will turn out right. All right, then.

Louis opens the door an sees him.

“Hi,” says Harry.

The door slams right into his face.

“What the fuck. Lou! It’s me, Harry! Open this door!” Harry turns the doorknob but it is already locked. “Louis! Please!” he pounds on the door loudly. “Louis! It’ me!”

“Go to hell!” Louis says from the other side. “Get out of here before I call the cops.”

“Oh, come on!” he pounds again. “Lou, open this door or I will force my way in!”

“Good luck doing that. In the meantime I will call the cops. Where the heck is my phone? Ah, there it is.”

“Louis!” fucking shit. This is not how he pictured things to be. “Open up!”

Louis is not answering and Harry’s patience starts to run out. “Then this is how you want it, huh?” he yells. “You don’t really care how I feel. You just cared for yourself just like the bloody coward that you are!”

“Shut your mouth, Styles!” Louis shouts back. “You’re the one who went and defended Zayn’s sorry ass. You chose him over me!”

“As if you didn’t choose Liam over me, too!”

“Liam is my friend.”

“Zayn is also my friend!”

“I was your boyfriend! And yet you chose Zayn. You’re the one who ended what we had. How do you think that made me feel?”

“Then open this door and let’s talk properly. Stop being a coward and face me!”

“Never! I don’t want to see you ever again! Get out of here!” came the angry reply.

“You’re a bloody coward! You can’t make me leave!”

“Ugh! You annoy me so much. Be prepared to get hauled by the cops.”

“Louis Tomlinson! If you don’t open this door, Zayn and I will make sure to break Niall and Liam’s engagement! I mean that!”

The door opens instantly and angry Louis faces him. “Don’t you dare, you lowly piece of shit-“

Harry tackles Louis to the ground. They wrestle on the floor inside the flat. More painful words were exchanged as they brawl. The fight lasts for minutes and ends when Louis screams for Harry to stop.

“Ah, stop!” Louis says again, exhausted. “Stop, please. I’m tired.”

Harry catches his breath; exhaustion also starts to be felt. “Okay,” he says and falls beside Louis and lies on his back. “Okay.”

They lay quiet for a long moment, catching their breaths while staring at the ceiling.

“I’ve been longing for you,” Harry finally says. “I’ve missed you, Louis.”

Louis asks quietly, “What brought you here in London?”

“We just helped Cher and Josh moved their things here. Maybe get them acquainted here. _They_ will live here. The rest of us planned to leave on Thursday.”

“Thursday? Great.”

“I’m a travel photographer now, Lou.”

“Photographer? Not a lawyer?”

“I didn’t take the bar exams. I don’t really feel like law is for me. You know that, right? My parents had been mad but they got over it.”

Louis does not answer again. Quietly, he gets up and closes the door. Then he heads to the living room. Harry follows him.

“I can stay longer here if you want me too,” says Harry. “Or I can stay here and live with you. I know you still love me. We can find a new place to live in together, start a new life, just the two of us. I can find a new job.”

“No, you’re wrong. I can live all by myself without you.”

“Boo…”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Don’t be stubborn,” Harry presses on. “We’re not going to make any progress if you keep being stubborn. It’s been years, Louis. Surely we learned a thing or two about relationships.”

“Last time I saw you, you were kissing Danielle Peazer. You made me watch!”

“I was just trying to make you jealous. Geez. Get you to react. You just walked away though.”

“You chose Zayn,” Louis repeats weakly.

“I know.” Harry steps forward to Louis, who steps back, knocking over some books about Alexander the Great and Ali Baba in the process. “I’m sorry. Maybe I could have chosen the both of you. Save one without losing the other.” He steps forward again and Louis takes another step back. “For that I deeply apologized. You have taken the fall and it’s all because of me.” Another step and the back of Louis’ knees hit the couch. He falls into a sitting position and Harry takes this advantage and climbs on top of Louis, knees on either side of the boy to effectively corner him. He cups the back of Louis’ neck with both of his hands. Louis reaches up and holds his hands. They stare at each other with confusion, doubt and longing. “I still love you, Louis. All these years I’m in pain,” Harry whispers softly and leans down and kisses him gently. How he missed those pair of lips.

“Stop,” Louis turns his head to a side. “What would my friends think?”

“Enough of that,” Harry says. “I’m tired of hearing that shit all day today. From Harper. From Eleanor. From you. We’ve fallen apart because of our friends. I won’t let that happen again.”

“Harry…”

“I’ve missed how you say my name, too.” Harry smiles. “I love you, Lou. Did you miss me?”

“No,” Louis answers back.

“Always too stubborn,” Harry rests his forehead on Louis’. “Anyway I will make you change your mind.” He kissed Louis again but this time with more fervor.

Louis whimpers underneath him, holding his hands tightly and gives in to the kiss. He kisses back and soon it is a battle of dominance. Louis tangles his hand on Harry’s hair and pulls gently, earning a soft moan from the much taller boy.

Harry feels something wet and realizes Louis is crying.

“Lou, tell me. We have not done anything wrong in our relationship, right?” Harry asks against the kiss and bites lower lip. “We are perfect for each other, right?”

“Yes,” Louis sobs. “But Zayn hurt Liam. If you defend Zayn again, I will-“

“Let’s not make his about them, Lou,” Harry cuts him. “That was the problem that we should have solved years ago. We made our relationship about them. Make this about us now. Forget them. Make this about us.”

Between their kiss, Louis cries louder.

“You still love me.” Harry says again and grazes his teeth on Louis’ neck.

“That’s true,” Louis agrees and loses himself when Harry’s hand slips under his shirt and drags his fingertips over his stomach.

“We’ll make it right this time. Let’s start anew and we won’t make the same mistakes again,” Harry says and sits back to pull off Louis’ shirt. “I missed you, Lou.”

“I missed you, too,” Louis finally admits, crying. “Terribly.”

Harry grins. “Thought so.” He is about to kiss the boy again when Louis pulls him into a tight embrace. “Louis?”

“Just hold me. Please, Harry.” Louis cries in his shoulder.

Harry obliges. He sits n Louis’ lap and embraces him and waits until his tears subside. Harry kisses the side of Louis’ head every few seconds.

“Harry…” Louis pleads. “Please never leave me again.”

“I won’t. promise.”

Louis pushes Harry gently and stares into is eyes, finally has stopped crying. “Liam is marrying Niall. And… and I’m glad that he will do that. Liam deserves someone like Niall.”

“I still think Liam and Zayn belong together.”

“But Edwards—“

“They broke up a year ago. When Zayn finally realizes that it is Liam he loves. Took him long enough. But I will still support my best friend”

Louis stays quiet.

“But we will not make this about them, Lou. We won’t. Whatever Liam decides in the end, it’s all up to him. We will not interfere with them. Just support them. That’s what friends do. Right?”

“Yes.”

“So… did you really call the cops?”

Louis finally smiles. “Don’t be silly. You know I didn’t. I love you, Haz.”

“I love you, too.”

They kiss again. No more heartaches and blame. All forgiveness and love. And though there is still doubt for the future, they don’t let it on. Louis guides Harry to his bed, lets him undress him, kiss him and take him just like how he remembers it three years past. Harry, for his part, is just too happy that he finally got what he wanted after three painful years of yearning and waiting. Their bodies are tangled together when they fell asleep, just like how they are always meant to be.

~~~

Zayn Malik arrives to the pub near the art museum, the place Harry texted him about, at eleven in the evening. He could have arrived earlier, but he had to drop his luggage in Cher and Josh’s unit.

A group of ladies winks at him as he enters the pub. Zayn just waves at them in a friendly manner. Maybe if it was three years ago when he was 21 and a known womanizer, he would readily play with those girls. But he is a changed man, as Josh refers. He changed his ways when he met Perrie… and when he realized he loves Liam.

Liam, that special boy who had stuck with him the longest. Who poured his feelings to him but got rejected and abandoned. Just a casual fuck. Yes, he remembers saying those words. But not the reason why he said it. He’s forgotten, or maybe he doesn’t want to remember. Those words are the reason they fell apart.

 _Where is Liam now?_ Zayn wonders.

After graduation, he and Perrie were still okay. They flirted, they kissed, they hold hands. Like normal couples do. He had loved Perrie, truly. Maybe it can be said that she is his first love. She was the apple of his eyes. That is true. But afterwards, they grew apart. Very slowly but surely. He began to long for someone who has eyes of an innocent puppy, who has antipathy on spoons, whose favorite movie is Toy Story, who makes him feel young. The one he met in Biology and Statistics, whom he kissed in an amusement park, who asked about all his favorites in bed. He terribly misses Liam. At first, he thought that maybe it was simple guilt because they did not end in a good note (the smile during the graduation ceremony is not a good closure for him. And especially not Liam’s confession in that Friday of January). Months passed and he still misses Liam that he decides it could not just be guilt.

He was lost. The ambiguous thought and possibilities lost him. He could not focus on his relationship with Liam all over his head. More time passed for him to analyze and to tell guilt and longing apart. Then an idea clicked and he realized maybe he loves Liam the way Liam had hoped him to be. He was startled and mystified and happy at the discovery.

Perrie had been noticing the growing distance between her and Zayn and can’t bring herself to do anything. They were falling out of love. Simple as that. Perrie was crying hard when they finally ended their relationship. “Maybe you’re meant to meet me just so you can be ready for him,” were her parting words that day. Zayn also cried. He also loved her. He thanked her for understanding. Perrie became his other best friend.

Then he told Harry about the breakup and his feelings for Liam. Harry smiled sadly and mumbled “Why only now?” as he silently walked away with heavy footsteps. Zayn knew he was thinking about Louis. Zayn had not felt more guilty ever since.

Zayn’s reveries are broken when he finds John and Perrie sitting by the counter.

“Hi,” he greets as he sits in between them. “Where are the others?”

John does not answer and only shifts away from them. He seems to be in a bad mood. There is a girl onstage singing about aestival sadness.

Perrie answers for him. “Danielle is with a guy she met earlier. I don’t know where Charlie and Harry are.”

“You don’t know where they are? And what happened to him?” he points at John.

Perrie bites her lip and shakes her head. “No, this won’t work. Listen, Zayn. I lied. I know where Charlie and Harry are.”

That earns a laugh from Zayn. “Yeah? You’re acting a bit strange. What happened?”

“Charlie went with Harper Richards and Harry went to Louis Tomlinson’s flat.”

Zayn waits for her to continue. His stomach drops and by Perrie’s expression, he knows that what he will after is bad news.

“They found them at last. They all live here. Who could have thought of that. And John is mad because Taylor swift was here an hour ago and she doesn’t want to talk to him.”

“It’s not that!” John snaps.

“I know, John. I know.” Perrie says. “Calm down.”

“So what are we acting so weird about?” Zayn asks, confused. “Isn’t that great news? Harry finding Louis? Charlie with Harper? Or…” Zayn trails on, an idea forming in his head. “Is Liam with them? Have you seen Liam?”

Perrie takes in a deep breath. “You missed them, Zayn. They were all here an hour ago. And yes. Liam Payne was here. You could not really imagine Louis without Liam, right? He’s engaged now, Zayn. For four months. With Niall Horan.”

Zayn sits there, contemplating the words. Of course, he knows it won’t be easy getting Liam back. He had hurt the boy. He was prepared to find out if Liam had moved on, be so angry at him, or doesn’t want to see him again (albeit there is this wishful thiking that Liam still wants him all the same and is just waiting for him). Zayn would thrive very hard to prove he is being real this time if those were the cases. But being engaged? No, not this. Never this. That’s too much. And with Niall? Fucking shit. That asshole really took advantage of the time Zayn is not around Liam. He wants to throw up. Dammit, he should have prepared for an apocalypse not just a storm (somehow that metaphor makes him more enraged). The world suddenly spins fast around and around and he’s nauseous. Soon there will be vomits and tears. Flashbacks run through his head; him meeting Liam, him turning Liam down, Niall saying he will visit Liam and Louis, Liam smiling at him during graduation ceremony. It’s too fast. Darkness calls to him. He bites his lip down hard to keep the scream he doesn’t want to make. He grunts.

“Where are they?” Zayn asks, clenching his fists. “Where is Liam now?”

Perrie shakes her head. “We have not asked them where they live. I forgot.”

“When did you find out?” Zayn asks again. “About all these?”

“Last Friday. When Josh called to say that Niall e-mailed him to be his best man.”

“Why are you only telling me now?!” Zayn yells.

“Hey, amigo,” a bloke from the thinning crowd says. He looks like every alcoholic Zayn laid his eyes upon on. “Calm the shit down. We had enough shrieking for tonight.”

“What the fuck did you say?” Zayn rises, appalled, but thankfully John and Perrie manages to hold him down.

“Easy, Zayn,” John says. “Anger does not lead anywhere good.”

“Well I wouldn’t be angry if the lot of you did not keep Liam from me,” Zayn snaps, aggravated.

“We’re sorry, Zayn,” Perrie pleads. “We just don’t know how to break it to you. Honestly, we can’t believe it ourselves. Please sit down.”

No, this is all too much, Zayn thinks. Too much already. Too much! So this is it? Give up? Learn about their engagement then fall into obscurity because you are out of the picture? Is this his punishment, really? Doesn’t he deserve a second chance?

“Zayn,” Perrie is saying. “They are getting married this December. It’s still July. There’s plenty of time. You can still get Liam back. There’s a lot plenty of time.”

“What are you talking about?” Zayn asks incredulously. “I can’t just break their engagement.”

“Sure, you can. There is no alternative. Fight for him, Zayn.”

“I will be the bad guy in front of everybody.”

“You have your reasons. After all, you love him. Please keep fighting.”

Zayn feels like falling. Someone catch him, please. He closes his eyes and tries to concentrate. He almost faints. He nods weakly.

“Let’s go,” John says. “We’ll talk about this later in Cher and Josh’s place. We will help you, Zayn. We’ll figure this out. We got your back.”

Zayn let his two friends support him as they walk that he feels like a patient in after-care. He tries not to think about that, too. They left the place into the affluent condominium where they see Eleanor giving them a solemn stare.

Outside, few blocks away from them, in an apartment, Liam and Niall prepares to sleep.

“Niall,” Liam whispers after turning off the lamp.

“Yes?”

Liam throws an arm around Niall and pulls him tight. “Let’s not fall apart… like Perrie and Zayn did.”

"Don’t worry, Liam. We won’t. I will never let that happen to us."

END OF CHAPTER SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title came from Colplay's "The Scientist"


	8. All Is Lost, Hope Remains, And This War's Not Over

“You should not give up on him, Zayn,” Perrie tells him when they settle in the living area of Cher and Josh’s unit. “You should not, not now.”

Cher and Josh are sleeping in their quarters. And now, at one in the morning, only Perrie, Zayn and John are awake in that building, taking the new matter in consideration.

Zayn is unresponsive. He just looks out of the glass window without really looking at anything.

“Zayn,” Perrie calls. “Are you listening?”

“I am,” Zayn replies, still looking out the window. “Perrie, how does Liam and Niall look at each other? Tell me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are they like in love or something?”

John, who has been listening to them from the couch, groans loudly. “Zayn, it doesn’t matter if they are. Come on.”

“You said that it was Liam who proposed…” Zayn trails off.

He tries to think but is unable to. What is clear to him is: Liam loves Niall. Clear as day. This is his entire fault. Why did he have to realize he is in love with Liam when it’s too late? When Liam was not around anymore, when they were miles and miles away from each other. This is a stupid, stupid world. And why does he have to fight? What for? To be humiliated in front of Liam? Maybe this is good, him knowing about the engagement beforehand, so he won’t go and humiliate himself in front of Liam and his fucking fiancé. Maybe he should leave while there is still time. Go away and be miserable for the rest of his life like he deserves.

Just then, Danielle enters the room, drunk and wasted. “Hi, guys!” she says too loudly that even Zayn turns to her. She giggles. “Met a nice bloke tonight. Compliments me well. Maybe I’d see him again. Oh, Zayn. You’re finally here. Have you seen Liam?”

Zayn does not answer and stares at her with unexplained contempt.

“He did not, Danielle,” Perrie answers.

“Oh, such a shame. He’s gotten so hot. Like so much better than before. I mean, he’s adorable in uni but now… oh, my God. I would totally jump on him if he isn’t engaged. Did you know he’s engaged? To Niall Horan, no less. Can you believe it? I did not at first. Then I saw their engagement rings and—”

“Danielle,” Perrie interrupts. “He knows Liam’s engaged. Can you just leave it at that?”

Danielle pouts childishly. “That’s it? That’s his finding-Liam-but-it’s-too-late face? The eff? I thought that he loves Liam and all that shit. Well, maybe it goes unsaid that you lost, Zayn. Sucks to be you! Maybe you are regretting that you let Liam go and replace him with Perrie. No offense, Perrie. But you know how this context works. So, Zayn. What do you do now? Are you ready for a life of unhappiness and regrets? A life of abjection, perhaps?”

That is the last straw. “Shut up!” Zayn bellows and charges at Danielle. He is about to struck her when John stops him at the last minute. Danielle is still caught off-balance, though, and falls to the floor. Perrie runs to her side.

“Zayn, calm down!” John says. “She’s drunk and she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Just ignore her.”

But Zayn has had enough. He knows it’s his fault and he want to blame others for this misery. It’s Niall’s fault. How dare he steal Liam away from him! And why the fuck did Liam let him? He points an accusing finger at Perrie. “This is all your fault! It’s because of you that Liam left me. It’s all because of you!”

Shocked at Zayn’s uproar, Perrie is unable to react.

Cher and Josh, awaken by the shoutings, stands by their bedroom door and watches all of them with concern

John laughs uneasily. “Come on, Zayn. You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

Perrie stands up, heads high, and slaps Zayn in the face. Her action earns her a glare from the boy; they boy she loved, the boy she still loves and only because she wants his happiness first that she let him go.

“You’re a moron,” she hisses. “Don’t you think I haven’t thought of that? Don’t you think I haven’t blamed myself for stepping into your lives? That I feel like the villain every time you wish for Liam? Don’t you think that I hated myself, too?”

Zayn realizes what he’d done and stares at her stupidly for a second. He looks down and mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Perrie cries.

“Guys,” Josh says and walks in between them. “That is enough for one night. Please. Let’s all take a rest.”

Zayn cast one guilty look at Perrie before resigning to one of the two spare rooms with John. His head begins to feel achy. He feels really bad. He didn’t mean to upset her.

~~~

Just as when as Zayn decides it would be better to just give up, get out of London before he even sees Liam and be confronted with the sweet opportunity that he missed, Harry comes I late in the morning, all smiles and positively reminiscence of that Harry they had in college.

As he enters the unit, every one of them turns around, like there is some force that wills them to, like his optimistic vibe is just too powerful to be ignored.

Cher happily pulls him into a hug. “You did it, didn’t you? You got Louis back.”

Harry laughs gaily. “I did… I did…” then he goes on and tells his story: the hour-long journey, the comical exchanging of words, the promise, the kisses and what comes after. He’s like a child, Zayn thinks. A child who, after all, discovers that all his fantasies are real and not make-believe. He’s happy for his friend… and a little envious.

“…then he had to leave because of his work. Did I tell you he’s high school teachers? I did? He’s doing summer classes. He said he’s sorry he has to go. But he also said I could come and visit him anytime I want.”

Danielle coos and John throws Harry a towel. ‘Sappy little bastard,” he says. But he’s smiling, too. There is hope for this miserable group, after all.

“Zayn?” Harry calls him.

“Yeah?”

“Liam is at the university around the corner, teaching for the summer.”

The group’s focus turns to him. Perrie’s glance is the most expectant.

Zayn looks down, not wanting to make eye contact to any of them. “Thanks for the information, Harry. But I don’t think I want to see him again. I found out he’s engaged, see.”

“Oh, I’m just telling you. You don’t need to do anything about that information,” Harry says too abruptly that made Zayn and everybody else look at him in confusion.

“Harry?”

“Louis and I, we made an agreement. We won’t intervene with any of your affairs. We will make this about us like we are – we were – supposed to. This is about us too, you know. Now, Zayn, I am not saying I won’t back you up, because I will. I still think that Liam is the one for you. He is the first person you claimed to be someone one might fall in love with. Though what you had with Perrie was beautiful. But as I was saying, the decision is up to you. The fight is yours.”

John punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Zayn, just remember that Liam has not seen you in three years. Who knows what that lad is thinking? What if he has feelings left for you?”

“What if he is just waiting for you?” Danielle asks.

“There are never wrong decisions in life, Zayn,” Cher says wisely, pertaining to the incident last night with Perrie. “We take the long route out of mistake and sometimes we found out doing that is more worth it.”

“And if you’re still unsure,” Perrie adds, “find Liam, look at him and decide for yourself if you really want to give up.”

Zayn looks around at his friends. They are all looking at him, in their eyes a one message they need not say: although the fight is yours, you won’t be alone. Josh is looking reserved, though. Zayn understands. The boy is close to Niall. And it is more than probable that inside him he’s rooting for Niall. He understands.

One way to find out if he’s ready to face this war. He must see Liam.

That same afternoon, he trudges his way to the university belt.

~~~

There are only 12 students enlisted in Liam’s class. All of them only taking the summer classes in History for remedial. The stress of having 12 students in summer and a hundred plus during regular semesters is just the same though, Liam thinks grimly.

He holds his classes five hours a week, an hour a day. Three more hours every day for the consultation period. And with the heat of the summer, it is torture. That particular day, however, is a blessing. It is cloudy and sweet breeze is in the air. Liam is more than thankful for that.

He is currently in his office when he receives a text from Louis. His consultation hours has just ended and is packing his things to go home.

 _From: Louis Tomlinson Today: 2:58pm_ I haven’t texted you earlier cause it slipped my mind. But here I am saying it: I still hate you, Liam 

The words are too familiar and nostalgic to be confused with. It brings a smile in Liam’s face. He replies:

 _To: Louis Tomlinson Today: 3:03 pm_ Rude. Where’s my thanks? You have made up with Harry, I presume?

 _From: Louis Tomlinson Today: 3:06 pm_ Payne, there’s no thank you. ‘Tis, after all, unethical, to give off someone’s address without permission. But if you insist, go here and I will treat you pizza.

Liam laughs fondly. He loves this Louis.

He texts that he will be there and don’t he dare escape from him. They agree to meet at the pizza parlor near Louis’ school. Liam sends Niall a short message notifying him his destination and a quick I love you before setting up to leave.

 _From: Nialler Today: 3:19 pm_ You shouldn’t just text ‘I love you’ every minute. It gets me distracted. My boss thinks I need another copy of that porn magazine. Should I accept his gift? And should we invite him on our wedding? I love you, too. By the way. See you tonight!

 _P.S._ congratulate Louis for me. I’ll drink to him later on.

 _P.P.S._ remember the time when we were just playing matchmaker to harry and Louis? I do…

Harper is standing by the door of his office, arms akimbo and anxiety evident on her appearance.

“Harp? What are you doing here?” Liam asks with concern.

“Nothing. You’re not busy, are you, Liam? I just need some advice. I would have asked Eleanor but she is mad at me about last night. I know Louis is ridiculously happy to listen to one of my petty problems. Trust me, I know. Niall is busy with his own work. Ed is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’s with Taylor who is also mad at me. Wait a minute. Was it really wrong that I have told Charlie and the rest of them about Taylor and Ed’s gig?”

“Well, if you ask me-”

“No. Don’t answer that. I will figure it out by myself later. I’m here because it seems you’re the only one available that I can talk to. I guess.”

“What about Charlie?” Last night, before they separated paths, Harper had already explained when and why did he forgive Charlie. Niall and Ed almost died laughing on the floor when they heard the whole of Harper’s story.

“He is the problem, Liam.”

“Okay… Look. I’m going to meet with Louis now. You can come with me if you want and tell me about it on the way.

“Oh, it’s not too long a problem. Just… I need your opinion. Because I don’t think I want to pursue whatever I have with Charlie.”

Liam frowns. “Why?”

“He’s too… perverted for my taste. Last night, he put his hand high up on my thigh. I shrieked. He claimed he didn’t mean to. I believe him but I don’t know. I’m too paranoid. And that can’t be good in relationships, right? Maybe I’m the problem. I just don’t see myself kissing a man, undressing for him, sharing a bed… ugh! It’s disgusting! I don’t see myself doing any of that!”

“Oh, Harp.”

Harper shakes her head. “Forget it. I’m sorry. It must be awkward for you, hearing confessions from a 25-year-old virgin.”

Liam puts his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “Not really. Friends talk about the most awkward of things.”

Harper smiles. “Thank you.”

“And regarding your problem, you should learn how to trust people. And he should help you. Have you discussed this with him?”

“No. I kicked him out immediately last night when I thought he was groping me. I’m a terrible human being. He looked really hurt and I know he didn’t deserve that. Sue me.”

“You’re not terrible. Work this out with him, though. I think you’re kind of cute together.”

The jet black smiles shyly. “You think so? I think so, too, actually. Thanks, Liam.”

“I didn’t really do anything. Hey. Come with me to Louis’. He’ll treat us pizza.”

Harper jumps up. “That would be cool!”

They are walking on the hallway when Phil Howell, Liam’s co-teacher, stops him. “There is someone looking for you in the lobby. Name’s Zayn Malik. Do you know that guy?”

Liam’s world suddenly stops. Zayn is here… to see me? Why? And why am I suddenly nervous? I know this day would come. I prepared for this. His knees tremble only a little and he knows he’s ready. Sure, he can face Zayn; heads high, proud and will still bear an inch of affection for that beautiful boy. _Is he still as beautiful?_ , Liam wonders.

_First loves are forever… but your second deserves more than that._

“Liam?” Harper calls to gain his attention. “Are you all right? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“I’m fine.” Liam manages to smile. “Let’s go see him, Harp. It’s been years.”

Harper is hesitant but they go to the lobby just the same. There are four men sitting on the divan, their backs on them.

_This is it…_

“Zayn?” Liam calls.

The man on the farthest right bolts upright. He’s nervous too, Liam thinks. Slowly, he turns at them. And all Liam sees are the memories of pain and hope rolled into one.

Zayn stands up and beams at him like the sun (It’s instinctual, Liam notes). He looks like he wants to run to him, maybe embrace him tight, but he keeps his ground. “Liam Payne.”

 _Changed but still the same._ Liam manages to give off an affable smile and finds his voice. “How have you been, Zayn?”

Zayn laughs softly (just like how Liam remembers his laugh). “I’m fine. You look good. How are you?”

“Fine. You look good, too.”

“Harper Richards?”

“I’m good, Malik.”

Liam and Zayn stare at each other, the world around them forgotten. Suddenly it’s only the two of them. Liam is lost to his stare. Liam remembers. Remembers the past. Remembers how much he loved this beautiful boy (more beautiful now) in front of him.

Harper stands in between, catching their attentions.

Zayn clears his throat. “I heard you’re engaged with Niall.”

Liam’s face breaks into a smile. He laughs. “That’s true. Yes. With that leprechaun.” He laughs again. “Sorry. if he hears me calling him that, he’ll be so angry. But yes, we’ll get married this December. You can come if you want.”

Zayn’s expression becomes grim. Liam wonders if he said something wrong. Should he say that he’s sorry that he and Perrie broke up now? How should he say it, though, without offending him?

“We’re leaving,” Harper interjects. “Right, Liam? Louis is waiting for us. We better get going. Nice seeing you again, Malik.”

“Can I go with you?” Zayn asks. “We won’t be seeing lots of each other now. Please?”

The familiarity of that whole statement throws Liam off-guard. Suddenly it’s his last semester in the university again. Had Zayn done that on purpose? But for what? What does he want?

“Of course,” Liam says. “You can. We’ll take the cab. Let’s go. Louis hates waiting.”

He is unsure and he has a feeling he will regret all these. Especially when Harper shakes her head in disapproval and Zayn looks like a burden has been lifted from his chest.

~~~

Now they are on their way to the pizza parlor. Liam takes the seat beside the driver leaving the other two in the back. The journey is so silent. Once, Liam looks in the rearview mirror and catches Zayn staring at him. He does not look in the mirror again. He wonders badly what Zayn is thinking, what is it that he needs.

He wishes Niall is there with him. He doesn’t trust himself with Zayn.

~~~

Louis greets them by the door of the pizza parlor. He only shrugs upon seeing Zayn and does not even demand an explanation, only casts him an admonishing look. He pokes fun at Harper though like always. Then he drags them all inside.

Liam congratulates him on finally making up with Harry. Louis giggles. Giggles. He’s like a teenager who just got kissed by the someone he likes for the first time, Liam thinks. Liam missed this Louis.

Then they eat by the window with Louis’ story of his night with Harry, Harper’s friendly insults, Liam’s remarks and Zayn’s side comments. Then they start their accounts of what these three years brought them. Liam learns that Zayn is a starting art collector and frequently travels the world. He is pressured though by his father who wants him to take over his company.

Liam is surprised. He hadn’t known that Zayn’s family owns a business. It’s the first time he discovers it. He had not asked him in the university his background. But back in the uni, it was not something that mattered to Liam. What mattered back then was—

Liam shakes his head. He must not think about such things.

It suddenly starts to rain and the four of them are stuck in the parlor.

By midway, Louis receives a text from Harry asking him to meet him in the movie house. The idiot gushes. He hugs his companions goodbye and doesn’t even hesitate to run in the rain to get a cab that will take him to Harry.

Liam smiles warmly and thinks it’s too silly how Louis and Harry treat each other like nothing happened…

…like nothing happened.

He catches Zayn staring at him again.

“It’s silly, isn’t it?” Zayn asks him. “How they get back together like nothing bad happened between them?”

“That’s what I was just thinking,” Liam says and stops. He had said those words before. He remembers it. This is so wrong.

Zayn must have guessed what’s in Liam’s mind for he too falls into silence.

Twenty minutes pass and the rain is getting stronger.

“Sorry, lads,” Harper says and stands up. “I need to go home now. Deadline for the script of _After Dark_ is tomorrow and I need to finish it.”

Liam stares at her as if begging her to not leave him alone there. Harper gets it the message.

“Liam, I think you need to go home now, too.” Harper says, failing in being discreet. “It’s already six. Niall must be going home.”

Zayn grabs Liam’s hand. “Can I borrow Liam for a while?”

Liam and Harper looks at him in shock. Liam tries to free his hand from Zayn’s tight grip but fails.

“Errr… Zayn, you want to home, too?” Harper asks. “You can walk with us. You don’t need to—”

Zayn grins. “Come on, Harper. Do not worry. I won’t do anything bad to Liam. We won’t take long. I promise. I just missed Liam so much and I want to spend this time with him.”

“Zayn, maybe some other time?” Liam suggests, worrying.

“Why, Liam? Are you afraid of me?”

Liam flushes. “Why would I?”

“I will leave,” Harper proclaims, finally succumbing to acquiescence. “Zayn, I trust you. Don’t do anything that we’ll make us… hate you. Liam, come home immediately afterwards.” She heads to the door hesitantly. She looks at them one last time before ultimately leaving.

Zayn snickers. “Look at you. You just saw me today and I haven’t done anything yet and now you’re treating me as the enemy. What have I done?”

Ashamed, Liam looks down.

Zayn slowly traces Liam’s hand with his fingers. He pause by his engagement ring and plays with it. “How are you and Niall?” he asks quietly.

“We’re happy. Going strong if I might say,” Liam whispers back while staring at Zayn’s hand on his.

“How did you propose?”

Liam smiles. “I sang him a song… his favorite song. On a Sunday of March in the gymnasium of Louis’ school.

“It must be nice. I bet Niall doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you.”

“I’m also lucky to have him.”

“Do you love him?”

Liam scoffs, somehow offended. “Of course. I would not ask him to marry me if I don’t love him, would I?”

Zayn finally lets go of his hand. “That’s true. How silly of me.”

Liam looks straight at Zayn’s face. “Zayn, I’ve learned that you’ve broken up with Perrie. I’m sorry for that—”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Zayn shrugs. “And you have nothing to be sorry about, Li. It’s not your fault.”

Liam tubs his temple, headache about to come. “Why do you want to see me?”

“Because it’s been long.”

Liam studies the boy in front of him. All of a sudden, ideas spring in his head the reasons of Zayn’s reappearance into his life. All of a sudden, he wants out.

Zayn pulls his phone from his pocket. He frowns as he searches something in it. Then afterwards, he lays it on the table, showing him a picture. Liam shudders as he looks at it. “In My Sweet Slumber.” The painting that is breathtakingly beautiful but for a number of reasons is a painting of bad memories.

“Do you remember this?” Zayn asks, voice is soft, fragile.

“Yes,” Liam answers coldly. It’s a hard pull, pretending he is not affected. “Why did you take a picture of it? What is it for?”

Zayn huffs a laugh. “Danielle bought it on the auction. She said she had a massive crush on you in the past. When Perrie and I broke up, she gave the painting to me. And I’m keeping it. To remind myself that once you had been happy in my arms.”

He remembers Perrie’s words of Zayn wanting to pursue someone again and Zayn shows up in the university to see him. Its 2+2 and the 4 is not something Liam considers acceptable. It’s absurd, hated, ridiculous, a waste of time. His assumptions confirmed, Liam becomes angry. “You’ll never have me back. It’s over now.”

“No. Not yet. You haven’t tied the knot yet. I can still get you back, Liam. In fact, I will.”

“You’re mad.” Liam, afeared, rises up and readies to leave, but Zayn pulls his arm.

“I love you, Liam. It took me too long to realize that but now I have. Give me a chance.”

“I can’t,” Liam says in total disbelief. “I can’t do that, Zayn. Please. Please don’t do this.”

Zayn looks at him pleadingly. “Do you know what? At first I was ready to leave when I found out about your engagement last night. Maybe that’s what I deserve, I thought, for hurting you. Then I saw you today and suddenly it’s so difficult to leave. Because when I looked at you, I felt happy. The first time in three years. You feel like home. I will fight for you. With all that I got. With all the time I have left. Give me a second chance, please. I love you.”

Years ago, that speech might move Liam to tears and fall deeper into love with Zayn even with all the hurt and the pain. But now, all he feels is pity for the boy, and the desire to be free from this place.

He pulls his arm from Zayn and is grateful when the boy does not grab him again. He’s heard enough. He needs to leave. He doesn’t know what he might do if he will stay longer. He does not want any of this. Never.

“I believe you, Zayn, when you said you love me. But…” he smiles at him regretfully. “That doesn’t change anything now, does it?”

He is walking outside the parlor, under the sheds of the neighboring establishments to protect himself from the falling rain, when someone pushes him hard on a wall and forces his lips into his. Zayn.

Liam gasps in surprise and Zayn takes the chance to make the kiss deeper. He tries to shove him off but to no avail. Zany does not stop and pins Liam’s hands firmly to his sides to stop Liam from hitting him. Finally, Zayn pulls back but not before biting Liam’s lower lip.

He whispers against his ear through gritted teeth, “You are not going to stop me, Liam. I will fight for you. Unlike the way you didn’t fight for me back then. Remember that.” He lets go of him and walks away in the rain.

Liam stares blankly at his retreating back and fights the tears.

It takes a while for him to recover and to compose himself. When he does, he stops a cab and journeys home to his flat, to the place where he always thinks that the past is forgotten and the future is ,much awaited.

~~~

Niall opens the door and Liam surprises him with a tight embrace and cries.

“What happened?” Niall asks, putting his arms around Liam’s waist. “What’s wrong? Come, let’s go inside.”

“No.” Liam shakes his head vehemently against Niall’s shoulder and does not let go. “Stay here, Ni. I need you. I need this.”

Niall pauses. “Did you meet Zayn today?” he asks carefully.

“Y-yes…” Liam croaks out.

“How did it happen?”

When Liam does not answer Niall sighs. “You know, I’m supposed to be mad at you for coming home late, but I can’t. I love you too much to be angry at you at such petty things.”

Liam pulls back and gazes at Niall, still in tears. “Don’t let him have me, Niall.”

Niall intertwines his hand with Liam’s. He looks straight at Liam’s eyes and smiles. “I won’t. He won’t have you. You are mine now, Liam. I love you. And if one day you decide that you want to be with him, you won’t be with him. I will keep you at all cost and you will have nothing to say about it. You are mine and you are stuck with me.”

The possessiveness of Niall’s words, instead of scaring Liam, only gives him comfort. Maybe because that’s what he needs: a certainty that he belongs to someone and a right to call him his own.

“I love you,” Liam cries again.

“I know,” Niall says happily. Then he leads him inside and makes him change his clothes. He makes their dinner and everything is back to normal.

Later that night they make love.

~~~

On Thursday night of the same week, Louis and Harry crashes in at their place with food in their hands.

“I thought you’ll all be gone today?” Liam asks.

“Ouch, Liam. That’s really harsh. Don’t you want to see me? What you just said really hurts,” Harry says, pretending to be shot in the heart. Then he laughs it off and the four of them sits on the floor, with their food and the TV in front them. _Gravity Falls_ is currently on it.

 _It’s familiar,_ Liam thinks. These past few days have been a roller coaster of déjà vu for him. Some he likes some he doesn’t. He’ll go along with it, as long as Niall remains at his side.

“Speak up, Harry,” Niall says. “Update us.”

Harry exchanges a grin with Louis before answering. “I decided to stay here and live with Louis. We are searching for a flat for the two of us. In the meantime, I will stay at Cher and Josh’s and be a bother to them.”

Liam frowns. “Isn’t that a little impulsive?” As an afterthought, he adds, “Not that I have anything against you and Louis’ decisions. It’s just that—”

“Oh, Liam,” Harry laughs. “It’s all right. I really appreciate your concern. But you see, I don’t think it’s impulsive.” Harry stares at Louis as he continues. “No. It’s not. That is what I have been planning this whole time if I found Louis again.”

“What about your job? Louis told me you’re a travel photographer.”

“I’m a freelancer, Liam. And anyway I can just change the subjects of my pictures.”

“It’s that easy for you?”

“It’s that easy for us.”

“Has Ed heard of your plans?” Niall asks.

Louis answers this time. “Yes. He said he’s fine with it, if I leave him. And I assured him I will help him find a new flatmate before I leave. Or… he can just ask Taylor to live with him. They are practically a married couple anyway.”

Harry says, “John has also not left. He has this issue with Taylor that he claims needs to be resolved. Charlie has left this morning, headed home to New York, doing what IT specialists do. Perrie went with him, gone to a research institute also in New York. Danielle left earlier than necessary. There was an accident in her family. Zayn is still here. Said he’s – ummm… err…” he trails off, not wanting to continue whatever he is saying.

A moment of silence lapses. In the television, Mabel Pines and Grancle Stan makes a bet against each other involving the management of the Mystery Shack.

“Awkward…” Louis says in that tone they always hear when saying that word. He and Harry bursts out laughing.

“Great idiots,” Niall says while looking at them. He is beaming, though. “I’ve never seen Louis this happy again,” he whispers to Liam.

“Agreed,” Liam says. “Only Harry can make Louis this happy.”

“Yes. Only he can.”

There is a knock on the door. The four blokes look up to it. Another knock. Louis, being the closest to the door, answers it.

“Louis? What the heck are you doing here?” Eleanor asks, not expecting Louis to be there. She scans the room and spots Harry Styles on the floor sitting with Niall and Liam. “Oh. Movie night? I’m not a disturbance, I hope?”

“No, absolutely not,” Liam replies. “Sit with us.”

Eleanor walks in carefully but does not sit with them. Louis goes to his previous position beside Harry and watches Eleanor. The girl is looking uncomfortable and determined at the same time.

“Well,” she starts. “I came here to say goodbye personally to you. I have a flight this Saturday to Japan and possibly I would not return for a long, long time.”

“What are you talking about?” Louis asks. The three boys beside him looks just as clueless as he is.

“I’m saying that I made up my mind. I will move to Japan and you won’t see me again.”

“Are you joking?!”

“Eleanor,” Harry interjects. “This is not because of us, right? We are not the reasons why you will-”

“No, Harry. It’s not because of you. I’ve applied in a modeling agency there a month ago. They answered it last week and they said they’re willing to take me. I would really like to try my luck on new grounds, see if there are better opportunities in foreign lands. I was supposed to announce it last Monday night. But, as you know, all things went to hell.”

She is crying now. Niall stands up and hugs her. Liam, Harry and Louis follows suit. “I was supposed to say it that night, you know,” she says again. “So I can make my last week here memorable.”

Liam says, “Then we will make your last day here unforgettable. I won’t teach tomorrow for you. We’ll go to the amusement park, and the cafeteria, and—”

“I won’t go to the school tomorrow, too,” Louis says. “We love you, El.”

“I will skip work tomorrow for you,” Niall says. “My boss will understand.”

Eleanor cries. “Thank you. I’ve got to stop crying. I will still pay a visit to Taylor, and that jet-black, and that red-head.”

“It’s okay to cry in front of them. They’re our friends,” Liam assures her.

“Okay,” she says and wipes her tears. She holds her head high. “I don’t want to do this tomorrow or at the airport on Saturday so I will do this in advance.” She takes in a deep breath then releases it. “Liam, Niall, take good care of each other. I will try my best to attend your wedding. In the meantime, love each other more. Louis, stop being an insecure bastard, please. And should Harry breaks your heart again, call me. I won’t hesitate to round up the world to find him and beat him to death. And you,” she points at Harry. “Don’t make Louis cry again.”

“Don’t worry,” Harry waves his hand in dismissal. “He’s in good hands.”

“I’m serious, Harry,” Eleanor says. “Keep your promise this time.”

The four boys kiss her goodbye for the night. When she is gone, they all sit back again; unable to believe what just happened. The reality of her leaving downs to them. They think of the days that will follow without Eleanor, the Fridays without her in her seat in the coffee shop, the holidays without her presence. And how in the world will they adjust? She’s a part of every one of them now. These all came to them in a flash. They hug one another and weep.

~~~

It only seemed yesterday when they were in the coffee shop, talking about almost anything. Then Eleanor came in and announced that she saw Cher moving in the unit beside hers. And now. Oh, what difference a week can make! Now, with Harry’s addition, Liam, Niall, Louis, Taylor, Harper, and Ed are in that coffee shop, all in their own little worlds while waiting for Eleanor. Then Eleanor comes in late they all try not to cry.

The time is nine in the morning. And the day is short.

They sit in the coffee shop for an hour to talk of the past, another hour to talk about the future, still another hour to talk about anything silly. Afterwards, they head to the amusement park. They eat cotton candies and win the arcades and shoot rings on the loops and try every ride. They feel so young and yet so old. It’s not even about the memories they are making for Eleanor, it’s about the fun they are having. It doesn’t matter that Liam keeps getting missed calls from an unknown number and he has an idea on who it might be, or Taylor suddenly realizes she has feelings for her red-headed friend, or Harper feels bad because Charlie did not say goodbye to her when he left. What matters is the moment right then, and they are living it. They are doing it on the account of friendship.

After watching the sunset from the highest part of the park they could find, they finally separate paths; hesitant, not wanting to, but needed to.

When Eleanor returns to her building, she goes first to the unit beside hers. Josh opens the door and is more than surprised to see her. Cher appears beside him and looks at her with confusion.

Eleanor goes on to tell them about her flight tomorrow, her apologies and her goodbyes. She then tells them that she is really happy for them and wishes them more blessings. The married couple knows she meant every word.

~~~

That hot Saturday afternoon, Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis, Harper, Taylor and Ed bade Eleanor goodbye at the airport. There are no tears (for all tears have fallen the past night), only smiles. Now, only the hope remains that they will see her again sooner and not later. And hope does not fail. When the plane takes off, the seven of them prepares themselves for the ongoing war they are facing.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter Title came from Trading Yesterday's "Shattered"


	9. If I Lay Here Would You Lie With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness gracious. I just came back from the hell that is school (and, admittedly writer's block), and what do I find when I came back here? All the amazing comments from you, dear readers! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comments! Although, I will have to admit that it gives me some trouble to see that half of you wants Niam and the other half wants Ziam. Now, even I don't know how to end this story.... I'll think this thoroughly though. In the meantime, here is the 9th chapter of Closing Time. Continue your support. :)

Liam counts all of the bad things that have happened to him for the past years of his life. He has a list of all of the things he doesn’t want to happen to him. And so he curses himself for forgetting to add this in his list. Zayn walks in casually in his office that afternoon, in faded jeans and leather jacket, while Liam finishes a discussion with a consulting student.

It is three weeks since Eleanor left, three Fridays since the remaining friends hang out in the coffee shop (it doesn’t feel whole when one is gone), three weeks since he’s seen this boy, ten days since Taylor started seeing John again, seven days since Harper flew to Japan for the filming of _After Dark_ , five days since Harry and Louis moved in together to a place near to Liam’s flat, and four days before the summer class officially ends.

Zayn just walks in and stands by while Liam tells the student how to pass History. Liam is distracted and Zayn is amused.

The consulting student leaves shortly with despair that she has to get at least 87 points in the final exams to pass the subject. She gets a good look at Zayn, who stands there quite comfortably. She thinks _My, Sir Liam’s fiancé is hot… but he certainly doesn’t look Irish_ before leaving.

Zayn takes the seat the student was occupying a while ago and beams at Liam. “Good afternoon,” he says and leans back to the chair and crosses his legs.

“Good afternoon to you, too,” Liam says, voice flat. He turns then to start packing his things. It’s time for him to go home, anyway. “You haven’t left London.”

“I can’t leave,” Zayn says as he watches him pack. “You know why.”

“Is that also the reason why you keep giving me calls for the last weeks?”

“Call which you expertly ignore,” Zayn says. “How clever of you to know that it’s me.”

Liam finishes packing. “Gut feeling,” he answers. Now, he doesn’t know whether to stand up and leave or finish this conversation with this man. Maybe they can talk while walking home… that can’t be right.

“How did you get my number, anyway?” Liam asks.

“Taylor gave it to me. Hesitantly but she did,” Zayn replies.

“Taylor?” Liam asks again. “Why would she—”

Zayn sighs. “Look. I ran into her after the day we met again. She’s with John that time. I asked her for your number and John helped me get it from her. Easy enough?”

“Oh. Right. So… what are you doing here?”

The amusement on Zayn’s face re-emerges. “Why? Is it wrong to visit your special someone during his work?”

“Zayn, we’ve talked about this.”

“We have? As I recall, the last time we’ve talked, I told you I’ll have you. You didn’t say anything against that.”

Those words has some unknown effect on Liam and that makes him regret talking to Zayn. “Please, leave,” he says and points to the door.

The supposedly art collector doesn’t move an inch, only scowls at him. “Do you hate me, Liam?”

Liam looks at him in shock. “I never said that!”

“You’re acting like you do,” Zayn retorts. “You’re acting it now.”

“You’re getting into my nerves, is all,” Liam says, irritation getting the better out of him. “I don’t hate you, Zayn. Never did and never will. I just… don’t picture things this way. I had hoped that when we see each other again, we’re both happy. Past forgotten. All of the past. Not like this.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything and only looks at him. Liam wishes he would stop doing that and get to the point.

“I have… some questions I need you to answer,” says Zayn softly.

“Shoot,” Liam replies tiredly. “Please make it fast. I want to go home.”

“Why Niall? Out of all the people you can replace me with, why him?”

“He’s always there for me. Time and again he’s proven that he really loves me. Simple as that. Through time I’ve fallen for him, too.”

Zayn is not pleased, Liam can tell. He continues. “Do I have any chance to win you back?”

“None.”

“Do you even still love me, Liam?”

Liam hesitates. “No.”

“Even for a little?”

Liam shakes his head.

“I don’t believe you,” Zayn says in almost a whisper. “I know you still love me. I can see it in your eyes. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Believe what you want to believe.”

“I love you,” Zayn tries again. “Won’t that be enough?”

It’s Liam’s turn to fall silent.

Zayn snorts a laugh. “I might have realized that I love you a long time ago if only you stayed by my side and fought for me.”

That made Liam upset. “Quit saying that,” he says hotly. “Stop saying things like that. Like it’s my fucking fault for letting you go because it was fucking obvious that that’s what you wanted. Who was I again? Just a casual fuck. An overstaying someone you’re tired of putting up with. If you think for one minute—”

“Liam,” Zayn interrupts. “I’m sorry. Please. I don’t want to have a fight with you.”

Still enraged, Liam glares at him.

“I have this image, too, you know. That you are waiting for me all this time. While I’m with Perrie, you are somewhere in this world waiting for me to realize that I love you. And I when I finally do, I will find you. We will meet again. You will give me your smile that I’ve come to love so much, and I will kiss you and you will say that the wait is worth it and everything will fall into place.” Zayn pauses. “I guess we have really different scenarios in our heads.”

“My life does not revolve around you, Zayn.”

“I know,” Zayn says. He stands up from his chair. “I will see you again, Liam. I am a stubborn one. This little chat we had won’t make me give up on you. Goodbye for now.” He goes to the door, then pauses and glances at him. “You’re different,” he remarks then leaves.

Liam is filled with dread. He begins to hate his destiny, Thinking that it’s been three years. That’s how long it’s been. Time moved fast. Liam’s changed. He wishes nothing more in his life now. He is a college professor that everyone adores. He has six wonderful friends (seven, if you consider Harry). And he is getting married to Niall, the one he loves and who fixed his broken heart. Then Zayn comes in again, an intruder from the past, wanting a second chance with him. Who could have thought? What a silly little world.

~~~

At home, Niall cooks a Mexican treat and they eat in the little dining table. Mozart is playing in the background adding a nice touch to the scene.

Meanwhile, Liam is having trouble if he is going to speak about Zayn’s visit in his office without giving any hint that he is affected by Zayn and his words. Truth is, Liam is threatened by him.

“Have you seen it on Facebook?” Niall asks. “Harper met with El. El visited her on set. She’s looking good. Three weeks and I’m close to not recognizing her. Funny, huh?”

“Barely. How is Harper?” Liam asks, deciding to rest his troubles in the meantime. “Looking good?”

“To tell the truth, I have no idea. She looks thinner. But you know her diet. I only know that she and Charlie are working their-long distance relationship well.”

“I thought she’s mad at him for not saying goodbye?”

“They easily forgive each other. Don’t ask. I never get the hang of their relationship… hang on, Liam. You have more free time than I have. Why don’t you ask her yourself online? I just sneaked around that time when I saw this on Facebook.”

Liam raises an eyebrow. “You are sneaking around at work? Why am I not surprised?”

Niall laughs. “Shut up. Oh, by the way, I called Josh too while I’m at work and he’s really okay being my best man long as we already set the date so he can organize his schedule. He’s apparently a very busy man.”

“Oh… that’s good,” Liam says.

“So, what date is it?” Niall asks. “December 25 sounds nice.”

“Twenty-fourth sounds better.”

“Twenty-four it is, then. I’ll tell Josh. And where…?”

“Venice.”

“Okay… Venice…” Niall says and smiles happily to his food. It makes Liam flutter seeing him like that.

“Oh, wait up,” Niall says and goes to their bedroom. When he comes back, he holds a magazine in his hand.

“What is th—Oh, what the fuck! Niall!”

Niall, a little red in the face, outs the indecent (to say it mildly) magazine on the table, similar to what Niall had years ago. “Boss insisted me to have it. I said no but he said he won’t have any of it. He actually said that this is his wedding gift to us! And stop laughing, Liam! It’s really embarrassing. My co-workers were there when he handed this blasted thing to me!”

Liam continues to laugh helplessly though. “God, I don’t think I want to invite him on our wedding. He might shout profanities while we’re saying our vows.”

Niall scratches the back of his head. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Who publishes this thing seriously?” Liam asks as he lifts some of the pages ruefully. “Honestly, it’s like this came out straight from a torture porn. Do readers actually try to do these things? I don’t know how you convinced me to do that to you when you made me read that issue you have. Page 33, am I right? Quite a turn on, I agree, but I thought you’ll never walk again. I had to… Niall, are you okay? You’re all red.”

“Fuck, Liam,” Niall whimpers. “Why did you… I was trying to forget it!”

“The question really here, Niall,” Liam says and looks up at Niall with a knowing smile, “is why you are showing this to me?”

Niall reddens more, with a shade that shames Ed’s hair. “Well… I… uh, ummm.”

Liam pulls Niall to his lap. “Good work being discreet. But you can just ask me.”

Niall buries his head on the crook of Liam’s neck. “We haven’t finished our food.”

“We can just reheat it later,” Liam says and touches the back of Niall’s pants. He rubs there and feels the Irish boy hardening instantly. Niall pulls back and looks at him shyly.

“Kiss me, Liam.”

Liam does so without a second’s hesitation and it elicits a moan from his fiancé. Niall squirms a little in his lap.

“Fuck,” Niall whispers against the kiss. “Li…”

“We’ll take this to our room,” Liam says.

“To our… why? I’m good here… oh, okay…” Niall says a little disoriented. Liam finds it really cute.

“Damn it,” Liam says through gritted teeth. “We’ll do this here.”

Niall stands back and begins slipping from his clothes. Liam tugs his shirt off. He begins to unbutton his pants but Niall, already naked, is there and pulls it off for him. All the while, Mozart keeps playing in the background. The moment becomes easily heated. Niall sits on his lap again and kisses him. Liam breaks off from the kiss and attacks the boy’s neck. Niall gasps in pleasure.

Nothing can stop them. Liam loves this boy. It would be the greatest mistake in the history of Liam Payne to let him go. Damn it if he will.

“Liam…” Niall cries as Liam bites skin on his neck.

Then the door suddenly opens. “Niall! Liam! Up for another movie night? I’ve brought Avengers. Oh, fucking shit. Is that your hard on his—Oh, God! Stop that right now! Harry, cover your eyes!”

There is a rule in letting your best friend get a duplicate key to your apartment. Liam should know that.

Niall squeals and buries his face on Liam’s chest in mortification. Liam puts his arms around Niall and glares at Louis and Harry who are standing frozen by the door.

“Louis, how many times should I tell you to inform me first before coming here?” Liam says.

“I would say I’m sorry but I’m not,” says Louis and shrugs. “The world owes mw a great big favor for interrupting you.” He moves aside and walks over to the television.

Then Liam freezes. Niall still doesn’t look up so he doesn’t see Zayn walking in, looking at them with both distaste and jealousy.

_What is he doing here?_

“And what are you worried for anyway? I’ve seen you naked many times now, Liam,” Louis is saying while working on the DVD player. “No need to be ashamed. But Jesus Christ, I didn’t expect you to be making out in your dining table. Have some respect to your food. Poor chimichangas. I bet they wish they would rather be fed to stray dogs than witness the sex between you and Niall. Oh, the horror.”

“Liam, make him stop,” Niall mutters against his chest. “Won’t he shut up?”

“Oh, Niall,” Harry says, going over to them. “Hello, what do we have here?” he asks and picks up the magazine, eyebrows furrowing. “Jesus, what the heck.”

“What’s that?” Louis asks eagerly and runs to their spot. He looks at the magazine, then to Liam, then to the magazine again.

“What?” Liam asks, abashed.

“Dear Lord,” Louis says and begins laughing hysterically. “Liam!”

Niall sits up and seizes the publication from Harry’s hand. Then he notices Zayn standing not far from them and stops.

“We’ve brought Zayn,” Harry says, noticing Niall’s reaction. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Why won’t it be?” Louis asks. “I’m sure it’s okay. We’re having a college reunion right now. We would have invited Ed to come along too but he’s in a gig tonight. He’s been getting lots of gigs now. Don’t ask me about Taylor, though. I heard she is not talking to Ed, which is really weird. I think it started right before she started seeing John again. Ed won’t tell me the details. He only said that he said something that made her upset and she refuses to solve the conflict. Female minds are so complicated.”

“Trust me, Boo. I know,” agrees Harry.

Niall is not listening to them, though. He is staring at Zayn carefully. “Zayn.”

“Niall.” Zayn smiles looking a little forced. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Niall replies.

Harry claps Niall’s back. “You can chat later. You know, after you put your clothes back on.”

Liam and Niall look at each other stupidly before getting up hastily and grab their clothes on the floor. Louis and Harry laughs behind them.

“You’re looking good, Liam,” Zayn whistles.

Liam pauses while Niall glares at the art collector. He grabs Liam to their bedroom.

Inside, as they slip back on their clothes, Liam notices Niall’s discomfort. He squeezes his arms lightly.

“Hey, are you all right?” he asks.

Niall nods curtly. “I’m fine.” He pauses and looks to a side. “Why did they invite him here?” he mutters angrily.

It occurs to Liam that where he can stand being in the same room as Zayn (long as the latter doesn’t make impulsive actions), Niall doesn’t like him anywhere near him. He wants him away. It makes Liam a little uneasy.

“Hey, Niall, look at me. Look at me. Everything will be fine.”

Niall does not look sure.

The taller boy smiles reassuringly. “If it makes you any better, why don’t we discuss more about the wedding after the movie? We can ask Louis and Harry… and Zayn for suggestions. Or, if you want, we can continue what we were doing earlier.”

Niall blushes. “Wanker,” he says and smiles shyly before kissing him on the corner of his lips.

They get back to the living area and find the three boys already seated in front of the television. Louis is lying in the couch, head on Harry’s lap while Harry brushes Louis’ hair with his hand. Zayn is quiet beside them while holding the remote. In the screen is the home menu for _Avengers_. Mozart apparently has been shut off in the corner.

Liam and Niall sit on another smaller chair since all the space in the couch has been taken by the three boys.

Louis holds the magazine in the air. “Can I have this, Niall? I find this really educational. Harry and I are thinking of doing the one on page 16.”

“God, we don’t need to know that, Louis,” Liam groans as Niall snatches the magazine back.

“Grab your own copy, Tomlinson,” Niall says. “We haven’t read this yet. Try my old issue if you want. Do page 33.”

Liam elbows Niall playfully.

“What? I can picture them doing it,” Niall retorts.

“What’s in that page 33?” Harry asks, intrigued.

“You don’t want to know,” Liam answers.

“Try us,” Harry and Louis chorus. “We do.”

Zayn clears his throat. “Should we start the movie or would we rather talk about your pesky sex lives?”

“Right! Let’s start the movie!” Harry exclaims.

The movie is played and they are quiet. Liam is comfortably watching with Niall curling possessively beside him. But halfway through, Liam feels like somebody is watching him. And sure enough, when he looks around, he catches Zayn staring at him again.

 _This little chat we had won’t make me give up on you,_ Liam suddenly remembers.

He could not focus on the movie anymore.

~~~

After the movie, the five of them heads to the rooftop of the apartment as requested by Harry and Louis.

(“You’ve been real cheesy nowadays, Lou,” Niall remarks.

“It’s not being cheesy. It’s being a child again and appreciate simple wonders like the stars,” Louis replies dramatically.)

Zayn, Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam sit by the edge of the rooftop and stares up to the skies.

“I think it’s Cassiopeia,” Harry says, pointing a certain in the stars.

“No, dimwits,” Louis says fondly. “It’s not.”

“It’s not? Well, I’m lost. All constellations look pretty much the same. How do we know if it’s the Little Dipper or Cassiopeia or Orion?”

Louis appears to be endeared by Harry’s lamentations for he laughs again. He pecks his lips to Harry’s delight.

Niall sighs loudly. “Stupid sappy bastards.”

Harry mockingly gasps. “You’ve offended us, Ni. Quite honestly, that’s a bit too brutal.”

“Haz, don’t listen to them,” Louis says. “They’re hypocrites. As if we haven’t seen them about to make out in their dinner table.”

“You’re all sappy stupid bastards,” Zayn says grimly.

The rest of them falls into silence. Harry coughs but that is it. Discomfort looms the air. Why does when Zayn talks they turn into this? Can’t he not talk at all?

Then Liam does something very, very stupid. He says: “As if you were not one with Perrie.” resulting to more awkwardness he can’t handle, nervous glances from Harry and Louis, and a look of disbelief coming from Niall.

Zayn replies. “You’re right. I was one sappy bastard myself. Hell, I was one with you.” Liam can almost hear the triumphant smile in his tone.

“What are you playing at?” Niall asks angrily to Zayn.

“Ni…” Liam whispers worriedly and reaches for his shoulder. “Easy.”

“I’m not playing anything,” Zayn says.

“Yes, you are,” Niall says back. “I’m warning you. If you’re hitting on Liam, you better stop it. Liam is mine now. Find another one. He belongs to me.”

“Calm down,” Louis says. “Please.”

“Like hell Liam is yours,” Zayn shots back, ignoring Louis’ plea.

“Still –” Niall starts to say but Liam digs into his shoulders to stop any more words come from his mouth.

That earns a glare of irritation from Niall. Niall mutters something incoherent under his breath. Liam’s heart ache. They must discuss this. They must avoid misunderstanding. Most of all, they must avoid falling apart.

With force, Liam presses his lips on Niall’s. The Irish boy doesn’t want it at first and attempts to push him away. But midway he sighs and gives in to the kiss.

Harry, Louis and Zayn looks away from them.

“Come,” Liam says and pulls Niall to the door back to their room. The last things Liam see are Zayn’s hurt expression and the stars; bright and beautiful and mocking.

~~~

He wakes up on their bed at seven in the morning. Niall sleeps beside him, naked and smells of the sex they had that night. Even in his sleep, Niall still bears the expression of annoyance. Liam shakes his head. He’ll fix it more later on when Niall wakes up. And they will discuss their problem properly.

Liam notices that the flat is too quiet, save for the birds chirping outside, the ticking of the clock, and Niall’s soft snores. The stillness almost seems like a warning of an impending doom. If this was a horror movie, Liam would best be wary.

But putting the ridiculous thoughts aside, Liam gets out of the bed carefully, not wanting to stir awake his fiancé. He grabs his boxers on the floor and puts it on as he gets out of the room, wanting to see where their three guests has gone.

The door of the other bedroom is opened slightly. (It was Niall’s old room. Ever since they become boyfriends, Niall rarely uses it and opts to share one room and one bed with Liam.)

Harry and Louis lie on the bed, embracing in their sleep, fortunately with clothes on, meaning they haven’t done anything naughty that night.

But where is Zayn?

Some unknown force must have heard his thought for he hears the toilet flushed. Zayn comes out of it and stops when he sees Liam. He looks at him questioningly.

“Ummm… good morning,” Liam says awkwardly, becoming aware that he is only wearing boxers in front of this intruder from the past.

A small smile spreads on Zayn’s lips. “Good morning, Lee-yum.”

“Where did you sleep?” Liam blurts out, having no idea what to say.

“In the couch,” Zayn answers. “Where do you think?”

Liam swallows and sets his face. “Zayn…”

“I know, I know. You will tell me that I shouldn’t have been here. Or this is the last time you’ll see me. You should know that that will lead to nowhere. I am very hard to deal with. Especially when I know I rightly deserve that one thing I’m fighting for.”

“Can’t you see that nothing good will come out of your insistence?” Liam asks in exasperation.

“No. I clearly see that there is good coming out of this,” Zayn says and takes a step closer to Liam. “In fact, I can see my goal no in front of me with my eyes. And I can reach him…” He takes another step and Liam curses his legs for not running away. This is a huge mistake.

Without any ado, Zayn leans forwards and brings his lips to Liam’s quivering ones.

Liam’s mind bursts into a number of traitorous things: the memory of the short kiss they first had in the amusement park, the memory of that cold November afternoon when Zayn first touched him; the butterflies in his stomach, all giddy and fluttering rapidly, telling him, “You’re in love with Zayn!”

Liam finds himself reciprocating the kiss. Zayn steps nearer and hold Liam’s arms lightly. Liam touches Zayn’s face and deepens the kiss.

It’s not Liam’s coming into his senses that makes him step back (Liam would curse himself later for that), rather it is the clearing of the throat behind them that makes both Zayn and Liam stop and look around wildly.

Niall is standing there, arms folded across his bare chest, with hurt and anger lingering in his eyes. “Go on. Continue what you’re doing. Don’t mind me,” he seethes.

Liam panics. He rushes over to Niall’s side. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Ni…”

Zayn laughs. And isn’t this the most inappropriate moment to laugh? Liam hates him for that. “God, Liam. What do you think your fiancé saw us doing other than snogging?”

“We were not!” Liam protests. “Get out of here, please.”

Zayn glares at the both of them.

“Get. Out. Of here,” Niall says with so much contempt that makes Liam suddenly afraid for his life. “Don’t ever show us your face again, Malik.”

“Fuck you, Horan. Enjoy your remaining days with Liam for I will get him back.” Zayn stomps away. Liam sees the reluctance in his every step.

When they’re sure he’s gone, Niall faces him, anger evident in his face. “Care to explain why were you snogging Zayn inside our own apartment while I’m only a few feet away from you?”

“It’s not what you think it is,” Liam pleads and reached for him. “Please…”

Niall swats his hands away. He barks a laugh. “Malik’s right. What can it be other than kissing, Liam?”

“I’m sorry. Let me explain.”

The Irish lad shakes his head at him; in disappointment, in rage, in hurt and other things Liam can’t bear to name anymore. When Niall walks away, Liam allows it and does not follow him. Let the boy have some space. He also has some thoughts to ponder. Like why the hell did he kiss Zayn back? And why, when he did, it felt really right?

~~~

Twenty-fifth of August, Liam will remember for the remaining days of his life, is the day everything went downhill extremely fast and crashed. In later years Liam will hate himself if he remembers that day; a day of bad decisions, confused heart and impulsiveness. The greatest mistake ever made in the history of Liam James Payne.

But there are times that Liam would be thankful for that day. Isn’t it that some mistakes are meant to be? That mistake is beautiful and sweet. A treasured mistake if anything that helped make his decision and one of the major reasons he is where he is now.

He runs into Taylor on that afternoon of August 25 in the tube stop as he walks home from work. He is feeling exhausted. Niall still hasn’t talked to him ever since that incident four days ago. Liam tries to understand his fury. But it gives a great trouble to him. How is he supposed to make peace with Niall if the boy refuses to talk to him?

And worse, that morning, Niall grudgingly gave Liam a kiss and reminds him of his promise: that even if Liam suddenly finds himself wanting Zayn, Niall will not let him go and keep him. It makes Liam really scared and upset. This is the first time in three years that he’s been with Niall that he sees him truly angry.

But as said, Liam sees Taylor Swift in a beautiful dress waiting in the tube stop on August 25th, the last day the summer classes ends. He has not talked to Taylor for days now, mostly because the girl hasn’t contacted them. Liam thinks that’s because she’s focusing on her relationship with John and Liam persuades himself that that’s all right.

He approaches her and pinches her ear playfully. “Taylor!”

Taylor jumps in surprise. “Liam?”

Liam laughs. “You silly girl. How are you?”

Taylor smiles. “I’m fine. And you?”

“I’m good.”

Taylor shifts on her feet. “Has Zayn contacted you? I’m sorry I gave your number to him. I don’t know what came over me. Honestly, I’m sorry. If you and Niall are mad at me, it’s okay.”

“Don’t worry,” Liam says, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Zayn had but I’m not answering his calls. For some reasons I know he’s the one calling behind that unknown number. And he visited me in my office last Monday.”

“Are you okay?” Taylor asks.

“Yes. But I don’t want to talk about it. How about you? How come you don’t contact us anymore? We’re beginning to worry about you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it either.”

“Why?” Liam asks in worry. “You’re fine, right? You got back with John. All is fine, right?”

Taylor looks at him solemnly and shakes her head.

Realization hits Liam. “Oh… is it Ed? I heard from Louis that you have not talked to Ed for a quite some time now.”

Taylor grimaces as if in pain. “I’d rather not talk to him. And it really doesn’t concern any of you, Liam. It’s between Ed and me.”

“But maybe I can help?”

The girl heaves a sigh. “I don’t think so. But you’re welcome to try.” She pauses. “I like Ed.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No. I mean… I think I might have fallen for him.”

That surprises Liam. “But are you with John if…?”

“Because it will never be the same, that’s the reason. On the day Eleanor left, I confessed my feelings to Ed. Do you know what he said? He said that he only sees me as a friend. Just a friend and nothing else.”

Liam does not say anything. The rest of them always think that Ed and Taylor would be cute together. They want them to be. Eleanor wisely guessed that the two of them have feelings for each other but would not admit it for unbeknownst reasons.

Taylor smiles as she continues. “Then John came to me, paid me a visit in my bedspace. I have a good guess Louis and Harry told him where I live.” She pauses. “Do you know that certain feeling when the one who broke your heart finally wants you? I like that. So I started seeing him again. All the while I feel guilty because I know I’m being unfair to him. I don’t love him, Liam. I’m just using him to get any reaction, anything, from Ed. But there’s nothing. Nothing, Li,” she laughs bitterly. “He doesn’t even care.”

“I’m sure he does care,” Liam says. He doesn’t want his friends to fall apart.

“Maybe. But why doesn’t he show it? Doesn’t he know that it hurts?”

“And John?”

“Don’t worry. I’m meeting him today and I’m going to end this relationship. I thought about this last night. John doesn’t deserve this.”

“Taylor…”

“And I’m going to go after Ed,” Taylor winks at him. “I’ve been told that I am insane when it comes to love. I’m going to see if it’s true. That red-head is not going to get away.”

A tube stops in front of them. John comes down.

“Here he comes,” Taylor says. She waves her hand at him. “Wish me luck, Li,” she whispers and Liam lets go of her.

John rushes over.

“Hi,” he says and kisses Taylor on her cheek. “Hi, Liam.”

“Hello, John,” Liam nods.

“Have you waited long?” John asks Taylor.

Taylor shakes her head. “Not really. Liam kept me company.”

“Let’s go,” says John.

“Okay,” Taylor replies. She turns to Liam and gives him a hug.

“Good luck,” Liam whispers in her ear before she turns to her heels.

“Oh, wait,” Liam says and Taylor and John pauses to lookk at him. Liam smiles. “If you’re not busy, maybe you can go to the coffee shop on Friday. Like we were used to. I believe meeting with your friends at least once a week is highly necessary.”

Taylor smiles sweetly. “Of course, Li. And I agree, it is all-important to bond with your friends. You will see me Friday.”

As Liam stares at them walking away, he can’t help but admire Taylor’s courage and decisive nature. If only he is like that, he thinks. Maybe he can help her. Maybe he can talk to Ed. But he can’t just talk to him into liking Taylor as more than friends, right? He can’t. Not unless Ed is lying about his real feelings for Taylor…

He is still thinking about helping his two friends as he resumes his walk back home. He doesn’t notice a bloke walking behind him as he passes by Eleanor’s condominium. He doesn’t notice how that bloke in a leather jacket smirks and reaches put his arms to encircle around Liam’s waist, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Lee-yum,” Zayn says in his ear. “What luck. I was just about to visit you in your flat.”

“Zayn?” Liam asks wildly, heart beating fast, panicking. His head suddenly hurts. He tries to pull himself from Zayn’s arms but the hold tightens. “Let me go.”

Zayn chuckles that sends Liam goose bumps. “As if, Liam.”

“What more do you want?” Liam hisses. He scans the streets for people. My God, if anyone he knows see him in this situation…

“There is an amusement park around here, if I’m not mistaken. Let’s go there.”

“As if.”

Zayn laughs again, louder this time. “You’re amusing me, Liam.” Then he lets Liam go.

Liam turns around to face Zayn (And it’s really, really stupid because he could have just run away, right? The beginning of the mistake, Liam thinks to this day.) “What do I do for you to stop?”

Zayn shakes his head, enjoyment clearly evident on his face. “Everything and nothing. Whatever. I won’t stop. I’ve got you now… I like the last time we kissed. How about you?”

“No.”

“Really? That’s odd. As I remember, you kissed me back.”

Liam stares angrily at him.

“Let’s go out,” Zayn repeats. “Your fiancé does not come home until six, right? We have three hours to spend our time together. Oh, by the way. How are you and Niall now? What did he say after he saw us—”

“FUCK YOU!” Liam yells.

“Well, that would be fun,” Zayn smirks, albeit looking a little surprised by Liam’s outburst. “If you don’t want the amusement park, perhaps the art museum?”

“No. I’m going home. And you, go to any place you want. Zayn, I was being nice to even though Niall doesn’t want to do anything with you. I’m running out of patience. Don’t make me regret that I ever met—hey!”

Zayn suddenly grabs his hand and forcefully pulls him inside the complex.

“Stop! Zayn!” Liam pleads.

Zayn pauses for a moment to shot him a look. All Liam sees is contempt in his face. Then Zayn walks again. Liam tries to break free from the death grip but everytime he tries to pull, nails dig in to his flesh.

“Zayn… it hurts,” he cries.

“Shut up. You’re running out of patience? Well, guess what? I’m about to reach the end of my patience as well.”

They have entered the building, goes into the elevator, to the fourth floor, inside a unit. As Liam looks around to the picture frames in the walls, he learns that the place is owned by Cher and Josh.

Zayn closes the door and locks it. “They won’t be back until midnight,” he says and finally lets Liam go.

Liam turns for the door quickly but Zayn catches him and they wrestle on the floor.

“Stop fighting, Liam!” Zayn says in frustration abouve him and pins Liam’s arms above his head.

Liam catches his breath, exhaustion catching him. “Please, no.”

Zayn looks down at him with hopeful sadness. “Liam… I know you want this. I know you still love me. I know you do. God, I missed you so much… and I need you.”

Liam sobs.

“Tell me I’m right. You still love me, am I right?”

Liam takes a deep breath. Fuck that. Is Zayn right? Of course he is. This is so unfair. He doesn’t know why but he still wants him badly. He missed him, too. He needs to feel it again; the welcomed dizziness, the butterflies, the feel of this utterly beautiful boy.

_“You are perfect for Zayn…”_

_“Zayn likes you too. He told us so in the cafeteria.”_

_“I’ll have you. In fact I will.”_

_“I love you so much it makes me sorry.”_

_“Do you know that certain feeling when the one who broke your heart finally wants you?”_

Liam looks straight to Zayn’s eyes. “Kiss me,” he says.

Zayn, a little surprises but greatly pleased by the request, does so. He lowers his head, lips brushing tenderly against Liam’s as if testing the waters. Then he delves deeper and Liam closes his eyes and kisses back. Soft and missed. Zayn lets go of his arms to hold down his shoulders. Liam hands travel to the back of Zayn’s head and pulls some hair that causes the boy to moan in the kiss. The kiss turns rough, all tongues and teeth, a battle of domination. But Liam wanted this. He almost believes that this is what he wanted all long and that everything that Zayn said about him is right.

They find a pattern afterwards that pleases Liam. He does not want the moment to end.

But it does end. When Zayn pulls back, he is laughing happily. Liam is flustered but fondly smiles at him.

They get up from the floor and Zayn leads him to the spare room that is his and John’s room.

Once there, Zayn pulls off Liam’s clothes. Liam kicks his shoes off while Zayn strips him off from his shirt, then his pants, to his boxers. He steps back to stare at Liam’s whole frame, as if seeing a work of heart. Liam looks down, shy and erection exposed.

Zayn sighs. “Look at you. You’ve changed.”

“Good or bad?” Liam asks nervously.

Zayn unbuttons his clothes. “Let me find out for myself.”

Completely undresses, he pushes Liam onto the bed and kisses him hungrily on the lips. He sits astride on his hips. He pauses as if mesmerized by the sight of Liam in front of him. With his fingers, he slowly traces Liam’s chest down to his abs. Liam looks at him with a dreamy expression. Then he realizes that Zayn is taking too long. He grabs his wrist.

“Come on,” he grits that makes Zayn chuckle.

Zayn rules his shoulderblades and leans down to kiss him on the lips again. With his tongue, he manages to open Liam’s mouth and explore the inside. The room is filled with grunts and the sound of tongues lapping. Then Zayn breaks free from the kiss and proceeds to lick his ear. “Blow me, Liam,” he croaks.

He lies on his back and Liam shifts and gets up. He kneels between Zayn’s thighs. Liam pulls the hard length, sizes it up with the rubbing with his thumb. Then he runs his tongue from the base to the tip. Zayn moans loudly. Unabashed, he kitten-licks the head Zayn’s penis before taking him whole. Zayn grabs his hair and forces him to stay still while he thrusts in and out of his mouth. Tears form in Liam’s eyes as he tries not to choke. When Zayn stops, Liam continues his ministrations and swirls his tongue around the hard member. With a grunt, Zayn pulls Liam from his cock to a sitting position.

Zayn sits up and meets Liam’s lips with his. Zayn nibbles on Liam’s lower lip for a moment before pushing him back again to the mattress. Liam’s head hangs by the edge of the bed but he doesn’t mind it. He only minds that there are fingers tweaking his nipples and a heavy weight lying on top of him and a mouth breathing in his face.

“Liam…” Zayn breathes as he pinches his nipples. “Liam…”

Liam finds himself directly staring at Zayn’s orbs. He reaches out his hands and holds Zayn’s face. “Take me,” he says.

Delighted surprise is seen on Zayn’s face. He pushes himself away from Liam to his drawers to get a lube and a pack of condom. The lube he pours on his palm and spreads between Liam’s thighs. It burns and Liam clutches on the bedsheets for dear life.

Zayn slips the condom in his cock. He holds his hips and positions the head of his cock on Liam’s hole. First touching, teasing. Liam groans in anticipation.

Slowly, Zayn inserts his cock on Liam’s hole, pushes all the way in. Liam bites down his lip to suppress the moan of pleasure and pain he wants to make.

“Liam,” Zayn asks in a hoarse voice. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

He shakes his head vehemently in response. “Just do it, Zayn.”

Again, Zayn grabs Liam’s arms and makes him sit in his lap, brushing Liam’s prostate in the process that makes him see stars. Liam hooks his feet around Zayn’s waist and touches his face tenderly. Zayn looks up at him, mirroring the warmth in the way he stares.

“I love you,” Zayn says.

In response, Liam kisses him. And it feels like it’s meant to be.

Liam pulls free from the kiss and winds his arms around Zayn’s neck and rests his head on his shoulders as the boy starts to pump up and down his ass. Liam meets him with every thrust. They don’t pause, only moving faster every second. Soon this would be over, and Liam would like to treasure this moment. Louis, Harry, Perrie, Niall… none of them cross Liam’s mind. Only he and Zayn share in the world.

He comes with a loud moan, and the name he called out is Zayn’s. Zayn comes shortly after inside him. They fall back on the mattress on their sides. Zayn doesn’t remove himself from Liam and it makes him wonder why.

Zayn gazes at him lovingly. He gently touches his cheeks that sends the butterflies in his stomach flying again.

“Zayn…” he murmurs and leans into his touch.

And just like that, there it hardens again inside of Liam. Zayn pushes him a little and sits on his hips. He holds Liam’s arms for support and begins thrusting, eyes not leaving him.

They come, they pause, and restart. As if they want to make up for the last years they could have shared together, silly as it sounds, or make do of the remaining times they will have should Liam not change his mind about the marriage. Liam lets Zayn, welcomes every thrust and thinks that he and Zayn deserves this. Please don’t take it away from them.

After the last ever thrust, Zayn grunts and comes inside of Liam. They come together. Zayn finally pulls his member out of Liam. He sores but Liam does not notice it as he looks at Zayn with concern. Body trembling, Zayn leans on his shaking elbow and grabs the blanket to clean him and Liam with great effort. It is everywhere. The room smells of it.

Zayn falls beside him and pulls him by the waist and Liam holds the back of his neck. They stare at each other longingly before they press on for another lingering kiss.

The art collector sighs after and pulls him closer. “Lee-yum, would you stay here tonight?”

Liam feels a lump in his throat. He sees the bedside clock saying 4:23. He remembers Niall. “I have to go home.”

“But you’re tired… and you’re sore. Rest for a while. I’ll wake you up later.”

Liam closes his eyes and traces Zayn’s jaw with his thumb. “Okay.”

“Great. Sleep well, Liam,” he hears Zayn say before drifting on to sleep.

However when he wakes up, the clock is on 10:30 in the evening and Zayn is sleeping and they are on their same position before he slept. With a start, he jumps out of bed and quickly searches for all his clothes in the dark. Zayn wakes up.

“What? Liam… why?” he glances at the clock and bolts upright. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Liam says while struggling to wear his pants. “I just need… I can’t find my shirt.”

“You can borrow one of mine’s.”

“That’s not going to work, Zayn.”

Zayn looks around and spots the damned shirt lying directly on the floor beside the bed. He scoops it up and throws it to the boy. “Here, Liam!”

Liam catches it and quickly puts it on. “Thanks.” After wearing his shoes back on, he opens the door and finds Josh and Cher Devine standing on the other side.

The married couple gapes at them in utter disbelief.

“S-sorry. We just… heard that Zayn is talking to someone and we wanted to check…”

“Liam?! Is that you?” Cher exclaims.

Liam has no time for this. Niall must be getting worried. “Yes, it’s me,” he says absentmindedly as he fished his phone from his pant pocket. Shit. Twenty-two missed calls and 26 messages all from Niall. He needs to go home.

“What’s happening?” Josh is asking.

Liam looks back at Zayn who laughs softly and says, “Go ahead, Li. It’s fine.”

Liam nods in thanks and looks at Cher and Josh for a moment before running out.

“What did you do, Zayn?” Cher demands.

Zayn raises an eyebrow at her. “I thought you’ll arrive at midnight?”

“Zayn!”

“Well, what do you think?”

“Jesus Christ,” Josh says. “He is already engaged, Zayn! Bound to marry my childhood friend, Niall. And I will be Ni’s bestman and—”

“Are you insane?!” Cher asks Zayn.

“He’s not yet married,” Zayn points out.

“You’re impossible,” Josh says. “Don’t do things that will make you regret later.”

“Whatever,” Zayn replies and lies back on the bed. He pulls the blanket over his head. “Close the door when you leave. Good night.”

“Zayn, we’re not yet through—”

“Good night.”

Cher groans loudly while Josh slams the door shut.

Zayn smiles beneath the blanket.

He knew it. Liam still loves him. Finally, everything is going in his way. He will not waste this opportunity. Sure, Liam has changed. He’s become bolder and certain in his actions. He is barely even the Liam Zayn remembers. But he is his. He will not hurt him, not anymore. They will make it right this time. He has never been so happy all his life. He and Liam, they could be like they were in the past, to the time before Perrie and Niall. Just like the past.

Oh, how he loves where this will go.

~~~

Liam has another thoughts in his head as he’s walking home.

He slept with another man (with Zayn!) while he’s engaged. To say it’s wrong is an understatement of epic proportions. He’s so stupid. How will Niall react to this? My God, should he tell him? Of course not. Damn it, he’ll worry about it later. First he needs to go home.

Niall is sleeping in the couch when he gets to the flat. Worry and tiredness crease his face. He kneels beside him and carefully touches his face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Whatever he’s sorry for, he isn’t sure. There are many things to apologize for.

From where he’s kneeling he can see that Niall has prepared food on the table. Niall must be planning to have a dinner with him, talk to him again and be okay. ( _And while Niall was cooking, you were sleeping with Zayn_ , his traitorous mind says.

Guilt and sorrow fills his heart. He turns his attention back to Niall and gently brushes his hair. He doesn’t wake up. Liam kisses the top of his head.

Niall doesn’t deserve any of this. Niall doesn’t deserve being betrayed and hurt when he poured his heart for Liam. Zayn also does not deserve being a subject of Liam’s messed up feelings. Something needs to be done. It can’t go on like this. He needs to choose.

He gets up and pours himself a cup of tea. As he is drinking it by the window, he begins to think.

~~~

Zayn accompanies Cher in the supermarket on a Monday three days after he slept with Liam.

Josh just left the day before to go to Australia and manage his business there. Zayn has still no plans of leaving, partly because he defies his father of not handling their company and partly because Liam is here, and he has a mission. Of course, it’s embarrassing to live with your friend. But Josh and Cher insists him to live with them in the condo to save expenses. Long story short, the least that Zayn can do is help in their chores like grocery.

It is funny enough to find Niall in front of a fruit stall, looking grumpily at the fruits. He is just thinking of visiting Liam in his flat a while back. Maybe he’s with this old friend of his.

Zayn walks over to him, leaving Cher who is considering to buy chicken meat and barely noticing anything else.

“Had a day-off, Horan?” Zayn asks mockingly.

He is greeted back with a dangerous glare. “Liam is not with me, so you can fuck off,” Niall says.

Zayn smiles pleasantly. “I see.”

“Fuck off,” Niall repeats and drops two apples in his cart.

Zayn grabs an orange from the stand and plays it between his hands. He thinks, _has he any idea I slept with Liam?_. “How is Liam?” When Liam does not answer, he adds. “He’s in such good shape. I must say you really took good care of him.”

“And I will for life.”

Zayn laughs and shakes his head. “No, you won’t. I’m here. I’ve come to take him back. Let’s just say I let you borrow him for a while.”

Niall gapes at him in irritation. “Fuck you and your delusions. Liam is mine,” he declares. “he’s broken and healed and he belongs to me. How dare you claim Liam as yours. You threw him away after calling him a casual fuck.”

“People make mistakes, Horan. But they learn their lessons and grow up.”

“Say that to dumb, moronic people. That bullshit won’t work on me.”

Cher runs over to them. “Zayn, what are you doing? Niall, I’m so sorry. Please excuse us. Let’s go, Zayn—”

Zayn doesn’t allow himself to be pulled, only glares at him.

“Whatever you do, you’re not going to win. Liam does not even have any feelings for you anymore.”

Zayn smiles smugly. “How would you know? When he already slept with me?”

Niall freezes. “What did you say?”

“Zayn, please,” Cher pleads. “You’re pushing it too far.”

“Shut up, Cher. He deserves to know, doesn’t he?” Zayn continues. “Why don’t you ask Liam? Friday night. He came home late, right? Guess who he’s with.”

Niall is already shaking over in rage. “You liar. LIAR!” He charges at Zayn and hits him square in the face. Cher screams. People look around to them in wild confusion.

Zayn is almost knocked off to the ground. He regains his balance and comes at Niall and strikes his fist to his gut. Niall bends over in pain.

Security guards arrive to stop the two from committing more injuries, to themselves and to the stalls. There is a large commotion as Niall tries to retaliate and as Zayn curses. The two, along with Cher, are thrown outside the market. As soon as they are dropped, Niall charges at Zayn again but Cher blocks his way.

“Niall, please. Stop right now!” Cher hates being a girl at times like this.

“Move outta my way, Cher! I will kill him!”

Zayn leers and spits on the dirt. He walks away.

“Where are yiu going, you bastard?!” Niall calls.

Zayn raises his middle finger in the air and walks on.

Niall turns to run after him but Cher is effectively blocking his way.

“What?! That asshole said he slept with Liam. Is it true? Liam slept with that guy? Do you know something about this, Cher? Tell me!”

Cher just gives him a condensceding look. She looks like she doesn’t want to talk.

Niall analyzes what that look means. Sudden;y he feels weak. His knees tremble and his mind is blown. So did Liam cheat on him. “That’s a lie…” he says with no more strength.

“Liam was in our condo that Friday night, Niall,” Cher says regretfully. “In Zayn’s room…Zayn is telling the truth, Niall. I don’t know what came over Liam, but…” she trails on.

But Niall is not listening anymore. His world turns around and around fast and soon he will explode. He starts to choke, a little. Cries a little. Then he screams.

END OF CHAPTER NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter title came from Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars"  
> ...the end is near! One more chapter to go!


	10. I Know Who I Want To Take Me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a million thanks to you, dear reader, for sticking to this little story of mine until the end. This is my first ever fanfic and I'm glad that this is appreciated (Hmmm... maybe I have a future in writing after all). Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  
> I would like to apologize for the wrong grammars, typographical errors, the terrible smut writing and the long time for updates. What can I say, I'm only human. I would also like to say sorry for the extreme cheesiness and drama you have found in this fanfiction. It's just that, I'm a huge sucker (teehee) for stories of unrequited love and second chances. I promise I will be better next time.  
> I tried to make this chapter as simple as I can. You may like it or you may not. In the beginning, I planned to have five alternate endings: Liam chooses Niall, Liam chooses Zayn, Liam lives with the both of them, Liam runs away, or the story is open-ended. But as I write, I decided that I want my protagonist to make up one decision and one decision alone; no alternate endings for him, no what-would-happen-if-he kind of thing. One decision and he'll stand up for it. You will read it shortly after this note. And again, you may find yourself liking it or not. (Please don't kill me.)  
> I'm thinking of writing another fanfic. A Larry Stylinson perhaps? Spideypool? Lashton Hemwin? Hannigram? Another Ziam/Niam? I still don't know. The idea will come along if it will come at all.  
> So, without further ado, I present to you the last chapter of Closing Time. Enjoy!

The end finally comes that Monday, three days since Liam has slept with Zayn, the same day Zayn encountered Niall at the supermarket.

That windy quiet afternoon, Liam is leaning in the balcony of Harry and Louis’ posh flat. Six floors from the ground, people look like small ants and Liam can see everything. The idea of falling down and becoming nothing but pieces both amuses and disturbs Liam.

“So, basically you’re telling me you slept with Zayn?” Louis asks quietly as he leans with him in the railings of the balcony. Harry is inside baking a pie for them.

Liam nods to Louis and looks down on the streets below. He wants to fall down.

“How can you manage to stay with Niall in one room without breaking down about how you... how you..”

“About how I cheated on him?” Liam completes and laughs without humor. “It’s not that difficult when you think about it. He still refuses to talk to me. He won’t even look at me.” Liam pauses and takes a deep breath. “For the last three days, I have a feeling he knows. He knows. Even if there’s no way he can find out. Maybe I’m being paranoid.”

Louis does not say anything and only looks at him carefully.

“Do you know waht Niall said to me this morning before he went to the supermarket?” Liam asks not expecting an answer. “He said that I should just tell him if I don’t want him to fight for me anymore. He’ll be ready anytime. I guess I messed up big time, didn’t I?” He turns to Louis. “Why aren’t you angry? I cheated on my fiance, your friend. Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

“I want to, Liam. I want to beat you, gag you, maybe even lock you in the same room with Zayn, Niall and your parents and see what would happen. See how would you like that. See if your comfortable with that. But I still want to understand you, Liam.”

Liam grimaces. “Is that still a part of your agreement with Harry that you will not concern yourself with this affair?”

“Yes and no. For the most part, I think I’m just being a friend.”

Silence lapses before Liam speaks again. “I don’t think I deserve Niall. I’m not good for him. I will only make him cry.”

Louis snickers. “You should have thought of that before you ask him to marry you. Or before you moved in together. That’s really stupid.”

“He doesn't deserve to be cheated, Lou!”

“So it’s Zayn, then? Are you choosing Zayn?”

Liam falls silent. “I don’t know. God, I don’t know. Maybe i should run away from the both of them… to a faraway place and forget all these.”

“Yes. And die miserably alone for the reason that you can’t choose between the leprechaun you asked to marry with his favorite song and your college love you taught biology every Saturday.”

Liam looks at him in annoyance. “You’re not helping, Louis.”

The short boy only frowns. “Who said I want to help you? You cheated on my friend, need I remind you? Gosh, I should not be even talking to you right now.”

Sighing, Liam says, “Just go inside, Louis. I need to think.”

But Louis shifts closer to him. “No, Liam. I will make you suffer more in the pretense of helping you. Don’t take it against me, by the way.” He pauses and stares at him like he knows the world’s greatest secret. “How did you feel when you were doing that with Zayn? Magical?”

Liam looks at him with disgust. “What is wrong with you?”

“Come on, Li. I’m trying to help.”

“How is that helping?”

“Let’s just say that by answering my questions, I’m already helping you decide. It’s scientifically proven. And hey. Tomorrow s your birthday, right? Thank the Almighty God, the Ancient of Days for that. I will help you instead of strangle you.”

“I’m not even thinking about my birthday anymore.”

“Nonsense. Are you ready?”

Liam just stares at him blankly.

“I need your full cooperation, Li. This is for the greater good of the world.”

“Fine,” Liam growls.

“Good. Why did you sleep with Zayn?”

Leave it to Louis to give hard questions. “I don’t know. I guess… I want to make up for the three years I could have had with him. Maybe a taste of what could it be like if we did not fall apart in college. If Perrie did not come. Zayn said it was also my fault for not fighting for him. Sometimes I wonder about that. What if I…” he trails off. For a moment, Louis thought he won’t speak again. But Liam remembers himself and continues. “He loves me, Lou. He said he does. And he means it.”

“What about Niall?”

“What about him? I can’t just approach him and say, ‘Ni, I know you’re mad at me for kissing Zayn in our very own apartment, but can you believe that I can mess up even more by sleeping with him?’ Can I?”

“But when are you going to tell him? Or do you wish that he’ll find out for himself? Do you want me to tell him?”

“Louis!”

“Look, Liam. I know you’re confused and all but think about Niall.”

“I am thinking about him,” Liam protests, a little hurt. “That’s why I think that he doesn't deserve me. I’m messed up and he’s too perfect to go through this. He deserves someone better.”

“No, you’re not thinking about him at all,” Louis says. “You’re thinking _for_ him. There’s a difference. What does he really think, Liam?”

“I don’t know,” Liam admits.

“He’s upset and he’s mad at you, and it’s pretty understandable. Finding out that after all these years you still have feelings for Zayn.”

They are quiet for a moment. Then Louis speaks again.

“Have you ever thought what would happen if you stay with Niall?”

“Zayn will go away,” Liam shrugs. “He’ll be mad, so mad, at me and Niall. And me… There will be nights that I will wonder what could have happened if I choose him. But I will be all right and everything will be the same.” He takes a deep breath. “Or maybe he won’t go away. Maybe he’ll stick around to remind me that I love him until I can’t take it anymore and run to him. In the end, I will always choose Zayn.”

Louis looks at him with a troubled expression. “And should you choose Zayn, what would happen?”

Liam shakes his head. “Niall will let me go. However tough or mad he is showing himself to be, he will let me be with Zayn. Because that’s just how he is. He’s sweet and sappy and just… Niall.” He pauses. “I’m afraid that if I go with Zayn, I will always be burdened by the guilt every time I will think of Niall.”

“Is that all?”

“Niall will find a perfect someone. Someone who has no second thoughts and who will commit to him. He will get over me and he will forget me.”

“And do you really want that to happen?”

Liam looks straight at Louis. Confused and doubtful but says the hard truth. “No.”

Louis smiles softly and grips his arms. “I will sound really cheesy if I say this but… have you ever considered that this is not all about Zayn’s second chance but _your_ second chance to fight for someone, maybe the one thing, you deserve and stop letting go? And to do that, you must first analyze what your night with Zayn is about.”

Liam hasn’t thought of that and so he is filled with trouble. He thinks it over and before the answer finally clicks in his mind, Harry walks in.

“What is it, babe?” Louis asks. “Is the pie ready?”

Harry looks worried. “No. Zayn called. He said he’ll be coming over. He sounds pissed.” He pauses and adds abruptly, “I didn’t tell him you are here, Liam. So if you want to escape, there is still time.”

“Why do you think I want to?”

“The last time he and you are in the same room, it did not end very well.”

Louis and Liam exchange glances before Liam answers. “It’s all right, Harry. Zayn and I need to talk anyway.”

Harry seems puzzled. “Okay…. But what about?”

Louis pushes himself away from the railings and walks over to Harry and puts his arms around his waist. “Let’s leave that to Liam, shall we?” he asks and tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose.

The puzzlement does not leave Harry’s face but eventually he shrugs it off and they leave the room, leaving Liam to his thoughts. Looking down again on the streets below and fighting the urge to jump, Liam waits.

~~~

Zayn arrives thirty minutes later while the three of them are sharing Harry’s homemade pie in the kitchen table. He really looks mad but upin seeing Liam, he’s bewildered, then his face cracks into a smile. “Hi,” he breathes.

“Hello,” Liam replies, and worries about the purple bruise on Zayn’s face. “What’s that?”

“You got into a fight, Zayn?” Harry asks.

Zayn covers the bruise with a hand consciously. “It’s nothing. I slipped.”

“That’s a lie,” Liam states. They all look at Zayn expectantly.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Fine. I got into a fight with Horan. Are you happy?”

Not expecting that, Liam asks, “With Niall? Why?”

“Over you, of course,” Zayn replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

Feeling that that should be discussed by only Liam and Zayn, Louis drags Harry outside.

“Explain,” Liam demands.

Zayn does not answer for a moment. He shifts awkwardly to his feet. “I met him at the supermarket. I might have told him that something happened between us.”

Liam rises to his feet. “What?! Why did you – are you mad?!”

Zayn immediately runs over to him and puts his hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I will tell him that!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Zayn says and pulls Liam into an embrace in an attempt to soothe him. “I’m sorry.”

Liam begins to tear up. “I need to go home,” he says and tries to pull himself from the embrace. Zayn only hold him closer. “I need to explain.”

“Liam, now is not the right time. Let him be for a while. This is for the best.”

Liam sobs a little more against Zayn’s shoulder, lets the boy soothe him. _Is this the end?_ he wonders. _Is it Zayn and I? Is it?_ But why does he feel like it’s not? Crap. Is this his destiny? Maybe. Darkness calls to him. But as he succumbs to it, the answer finally comes. And everything is suddenly clear to Liam: the past, present, future; the need and the want; the altering of what-had-been and disputing of what-could-have; discontinuance and hindrances. There is a lesson learned from moving on.

“No,” Liam says and steps back to look straight at Zayn’s eyes. “I can’t ‘let him be’, Zayn. I can’t give him time. If I will, I will be too late.”

Disbelief registers on Zayn’s face. “Is it… you’re choosing him. Is that it?”

Liam looks down and nods.

“After all this time?” Zayn asks and brings Liam’s face to look at him again. “Why?” he asks, voice starting to fill with anger. “I told you I love you, didn’t I? I’ve told you many times!”

“Zayn, please understand,” Liam says, trembling.

“I don’t understand!” Zayn thunders. He pauses then forces a kiss on Liam. It surprises Zayn that Liam does not struggle, only letting him as if… as if letting him for one last time. He backs away. Now tears fall from his eyes.

“Liam, please don’t do this. Don’t you love me?”

“God, Zayn. I love you so much.”

“Then why?”

“Because we are over now. Can’t you see? We have made a mistake in the past, and maybe we already made up for it that day. It’s done. We must be contented with that and go on with our lives.” 

“It’s more than that,” Zayn says. “For me, that night is more than that.”Liam only looks at him with sad eyes. “Forgive me.”

“Stay with me,” he pleads in tears. “Forget him. Forget them all. We’ll be together. We’ll do everything. Just like we were in the past.”

Liam smiles rather sadly and regretfully and it makes Zayn’s stomach drop. _And this is goodbye._ “But that’s just it, isn’t it, Zayn?” he asks. “You’re still not in love with me. You’re in love with a memory.”

Realization hits Zayn and hits him hard. “You’re wrong!” he wants to scream. But Liam is already walking away and Zayn is frozen to the ground. He hears the door closed and nothing else.

He starts to laugh, and he starts to cry, and he falls to the floor. The laughter and the tears turms hysterical, but he can’t help that.

The world turns much darker. Not far away is a bright light leading to another vision of future; a future without Liam.

Zayn doesn’t trust himself to take that path.

~~~

Liam runs and hopes against hope that he’s not too late; that Niall is still there in theire home, that he’s not been abandoned, that Liam won’t turn pretty much into Zayn and Niall into Liam (because for some unknown stupid reason, that’s what Liam thinks is happening).

He reaches the flat and finds it empty. But Niall had been there. Picture frames are thrown off the wall, the analog clock by the television completely destroyed, furniture are in disarray, glasses are shattered. And probably Niall had wanted to leave for their is a bag on Niall’s room full of his clothes.

But, goddammit, where is he?

Liam can’t take this. He needs to breathe. And he needs to see Niall. He needs to say, “Yes, you can stop fighting for me. I will fight for you now.”

What if Niall won’t return, won’t take his clothes, things and all? What if he thinks Liam is not worth fighting for? What if he thinks he just used him to pass the time, that this is all a lie? What if he believes Liam does not love him?

_Oh, God. Please, no. Niall, it’s nothing like that. It’s nothing like that._

Stupid! He thinks, as he remembers the use of a phone. He’s more than sure that Niall won’t answer his call, but it’s worth a try. The problem is, Liam’s fingers are shaking terribly that he can’t press a goddamn key. Completely frustrated, he throws his phone away.

_What have I done?_ Liam thinks, exhausted. Now is not the time to answer that, he says to himself. Even though he’s tired, he forces his legs to carry on. Without much hope, he goes out and searches for Niall.

~~~

Cold night is approaching. The sun has just set and the breeze screams of summer.

He finds him sulking in the park, in the bench, the part where Liam asked him to be his boyfriend and everything was magical.

After he’s gone through five different places, he’s finally found him. He had been yelled at by an old lady, got almost hit by a car, frowned at by passers-by. None of that matters. Niall’s here.

He approaches him from behind, ambling as he does so. Niall does not stir. He is in deep thought looking over at the lake and mutilating a twig to notice him.

“Niall,” he calls.

Niall freezes. He doesn’t turn around. Quickly, he gets up and starts to run. By luck (and, Liam thinks, destiny), Liam manages to grab his shoulders and whirl him arpund and pull him into a tight embrace. Niall struggles violently beneath him. He hits his chest and begins to cry and yell, “I hate you! Let me go!” repeatedly.

Liam only hold him tighter, attempting to drown out the hurtful words Niall is saying (“You bastard! I hate you!”) and wait for him to stop. Albeit, Niall doesn’t look like he wants to stop. He wants to hurt him and run.

But Liam is not yet done. He holds the back of Niall’s head to steady him and dips his head down and kisses the boy with force, needing him to listen to the one thing he wants Niall to understand: _It’s you, damn it. It’s you._

It takes a while, but soon Niall calms down and gets the message (or so it seems). He doesn’t reciprocate the kiss but he falls limply against his chest. And Liam knows it’s all good. It’s over.

Slowly, he pulls back and his eyes meet Niall’s teary ones. His face is all red, and it bears expressions Liam is dying to see: understanding, acceptance, love…

“Liam,” Niall moans.

Liam begins to cry himself but he overcomes it with a smile of relief. He strokes Niall’s cheeks. “Let’s go home,” he says.

Niall cries again and nods vehemently.

The night is cold, the end of summer. But above them, stars shine brightly and hope is everywhere. It’s in the amusement park, it’s in the Ferris wheel running in the corner, it’s in the lake, it’s in the smile of a man celebrating his birthday tomorrow, it’s in the tears of the bleached-blonde boy, it’s in their touch, in their hearts beating fast, and in their whispers saying, “It’s all right. We’ll start again.”

~~~

~~~

~~~

_“Hark now hear, the angels sing_

_A king was born today_

_A man will live forevermore_

_Because of Christmas day”_

…goes the song on the radio.

On that 27th of November you will find six friends hanging out in that same cafeteria over in that same spot, talking about the same old things: the weather, awful jobs, shitty music, Daleks, Kate Upton. But they are not the same friends.

Harry and Louis, absolutely unabashed by their public display of affection, are snogging on their seats. Harper looks at both of them in disgust. Cher sits undistracted and focuses on completing the guest list for Niall and Liam’s wedding. Niall contentedly sighs against the crook of Liam’s neck while Liam’s arm is thrown around the boy and holds him close.

“Will you two quit that?” says Harper distastefully to Harry and Louis. “Liam, won’t you do anything about this shameless display of utter disrespect when we could get kicked out because of it?”

Harry and Louis, lips still attach to each other, raises their middle fingers on Harper’s direction.

Harper gasps in shock. “Unforgivable!”

Just then, Ed and Taylor comes in, hands linked together and all smiles.

“What are you all up to?” Ed asks as they take the seats between Cher and Harper.

Cher looks up from her notes . “I’m making a list of would-be guests on these two’s wedding.” She points at Liam and Niall.

“She’s more dedicated about it than we are,” Liam remarks.

“Because you’re clueless. You’re lucky you have me. I would ask Danielle to help me here. Who would want to get married in Venice with only ‘close friends and family’?”

“Us,” Niall says. “We’ll even get married on the rooftop of our apartment for all we care.”

“See? Clueless.”

“Well, if they’re happy with that, what’s wrong?” Taylor asks. “I would be okay, long as i’m the wedding singer and I get to sing Niall’s favorite sappy song.”

“It’s not sappy!” Niall exclaims. “And only Liam has the right to sing that song for me.”

Taylor and Liam laughs at that.

Finally, Louis and Harry stops kissing (thank heavens) and faces them, lips swollen and looking lost.

“So, dear friends, what are we talking about?” Louis asks.

“How useless you two would be if we are all soldiers in a battlefield,” Harper supplies. “Provided that you can’t seem to get enough of each other and would likely make out every goddamn moment, you’ll be getting us killed.”

“You’re just mad because Charlie is not here,” Harry says smugly. “But I bet my bottom dollar if he’s here, you would be doing what we’re doing. Tell me, have you gotten pass second base?”

“You asshole!”

Niall softly chuckles and leans closer to Liam. “Look at these fools, Li. Look what friends we have.”

‘”They’re idiots, yes,” Liam agrees and laughs along with Niall. He squeezes his hand.

Niall stares up at him lovingly. “I love you,” he says.

Liam smiles. “I love you, too,” he replies and brings his lips down on Niall’s and they kiss passionately. And in that moment, he is contented.

( “Oh, look what you’ve done!” Liam hears Harper exclaim. “Now Liam and Niall are doing it!”

“Just wait, Taylor and Ed are also—”

“Shut up, Louis. I want to kiss you again.”

“Ed, can we—”

“But Harper will definitely die of jealousy. Harper, if you want, you and Cher could –”

“Ed, sweetie. We have just become friends and I already want to strangle you. I’m already married and I’m not a lesbian!”)

Liam is happy. Niall is here and there is nothing else he can ask for in his life.

Well, there are nights when he would wonder about a beautiful boy in a leather jacket who gave him the taste of first love and the importance of second chances: What could he be doing? Is he all right? Does he forgive him?

From Cher, he learns that Zayn and Perrie got back together (like how they are meant to be, Liam thinks. They are a perfect fit of a puzzle, a couple so lovely in the sight. That has been Liam’s thoughts back in college and that is what he believes in up until now). Zayn regularly travels the world for his art and still rejects the idea of running their family business. Liam has not yet get in touch with Zayn ever since. He has his number but he’s got no idea what to say to Zayn. However, he hopes that they’ll meet again, be friends, and laugh about the past. Both moved on, with both their special someone in their arms, they can talk, just like how Liam originally pictured things to be. And when he thinks about that, he is not embarrassed. Because he knows it could happen.

Hope is a beautiful thing.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Chapter title came from Semisonic's "Closing Time."  
> ...What do you think?

**Author's Note:**

> So... comments?


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